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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

We have to decide what school our son goes to

23 replies

FreddieFlintstone · 08/04/2020 13:43

A couple of days ago I received an email from our son's first choice school offering him a place. A month ago, I would have been ecstatic about this.

However, I've just got my head round the fact that he got his second school choice and when I went to see it, I do remember that I was blown away by the Headteacher and his drive to constantly encourage the boys to achieve. With every year that passes it gets better and it's round the corner from me (Coombe Boys in Kingston). It's also round the corner from me.

The other school is a long established faith school in Wandsworth (St Cecilias). The reason why it was my first choice is because I liked it and me and ex-H agreed it was good. It ticked all our boxes. Recently though, I've heard slightly less favourable things about it.

We're really oscillating between the two. I even spoke to DS' teacher this morning to ask for her opinion (she knows him really well) and she thought Coombe would suit him better.

Does anyone have any experience of either schools? I feel like there's a hairs breadth between them. While one would suit his personality, the other would potentially get him better results.

OP posts:

Meredusoleil · 08/04/2020 14:13

Just wrote a long reply and lost it 🙄

Anyway, in short, I would consider how you feel about the following points to compare the 2 schools:

Single sex v mixed
Local v further away
Non-denominational v Christian

Personally, I would pick Coombe Boys but then I like single sex schools that are local and not religious! Which one does your ds like better?

Original poster

FreddieFlintstone · 08/04/2020 14:27

DS has been really grown up about it. His response was "mummy, which one do you think is better?" I think when I told him about the commute it swung him to being impartial.

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Moominmammacat · 08/04/2020 15:18

All other things being equal(ish) please go local ... you will be pleased you did when he is older and demanding lifts.

Original poster

FreddieFlintstone · 08/04/2020 15:21

This is really useful. Thank you.

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zafferana · 08/04/2020 15:22

If it's a toss up between two equally good schools I would always choose the school that the DC can walk to.

Thisdoesnotgeteasier · 08/04/2020 16:47

Having DC in secondary schools, the local angle is pretty helpful, both in day to day school commute but also in meeting up with mates. If the mixed single sex school isn’t a big factor, I would definitely take the one around the corner.

Original poster

FreddieFlintstone · 08/04/2020 18:55

St Cecilias does better academically at the moment which is what is swaying my ex-h. He hasn't seen the school local to me although DS has. Over the past few years the local school has gradually been getting stronger academically and every year it gets better. The head is amazing - he has a strong vision and the staff are 100% behind him.

St Cecilias is well established knows what it is and gets good results. The fact it gets good results is the one thing standing in my way.

Coombe would suit his personality so much more but I do worry a little about the results aspect.

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Punxsutawney · 08/04/2020 19:16

I don't know either of these schools but from personal experience I would look past results, unless they are dire.

Ds attends what is a very well respected state grammar school with excellent results. For lots of reasons he's had an horrible time there and I deeply regret sending him.

It's not the academics that hasn't suited him but it's pretty much everything else. He would have been much better I think at the secondary modern his brother went to.

I guess what I'm trying to say that is results are not everything and finding a good secondary school that suits your child well is just as important. From my experience a happy child at a school with slightly lower results is far better than an unhappy child at the school with the higher results.

Meredusoleil · 08/04/2020 19:50

I agree with pp who says go with the school where you think your child will be happier.

OP, what is the difference in GCSE results between the 2 schools. I would say if there's more than 20%, then yes, maybe the one with higher outcomes would be better?

dyscalculicgal96 · 08/04/2020 20:08

Exam results technically are only one slice of the pie. Make sure to find out about the lessons, and the school life too. Which school do you honestly prefer? If you are a Christian, perhaps the Christian school might be a option. Get as much information as possible. Look at the school website and the latest inspection report. Make notes on both schools. Then slowly whittle it down. Visit both. Then decide.

Do not just rely on the numbers. Ensure you visit the school too with your kids in tow to get a clearer idea of whether or not you love the school. Also feel free to ask them lots of questions. I recommend typing up and printing off a short list of questions to ask and bringing it with you. Take a pen too in case. Talk to other moms and dads.

Go for a behind the scenes look on a normal school day. Observe a actual lesson in progress. Which is more important to you? Personally I'd pick the school that seems far more able to cope with his personality. You know him best. But this is your own personal decision to make. On one of the visits, try to bring him with you. Ask him what he thinks about the school afterwards on the way home.

Original poster

FreddieFlintstone · 08/04/2020 20:12

The results are good enough - just not stellar at the moment. I think they will keep on getting better over time. Thank you and wish me luck trying to persuade ex-h.

OP posts:

Original poster

FreddieFlintstone · 08/04/2020 20:13

Both schools are closed for the foreseeable future so can't go and look at them again.

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Punxsutawney · 08/04/2020 20:53

Think about the pastoral side of things too. I had no idea that Ds would have ended up needing the pastoral support he has. It's been seriously lacking at times at his school. It wasn't something that I really thought much about when I was making decisions about where he should go. It has been something that he has needed though but not been able to access very much which has caused some significant issues.

Good luck with ex-h!

Original poster

FreddieFlintstone · 08/04/2020 22:20

The Christian school makes a big thing about pastoral care. The other doesn't so much but I'm pretty sure it's there. I've been told a couple of stories about kids having a rocky few weeks to begin with but the staff helped them navigate their way through it.

I'm sure DS will be fine though. Although he's had a sheltered upbringing he knows how to handle himself.

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Punxsutawney · 08/04/2020 22:38

I think most kids are fine! Ds had undiagnosed SEN which is quite unusual in secondary so that's changed my outlook somewhat.

I actually think some of the schools that are best at the pastoral side don't always shout about it, it's just there in everything they do.

Mumto2two · 08/04/2020 22:56

Distance is often mentioned as the no.1 plus for obvious reasons. But I’m not sure I entirely agree. The easiest option, is not always the best option. Or at least the best option..for your particular child.

SE13Mummy · 09/04/2020 01:20

If you were happy with your second choice after an extra visit, stick with that school. There's a reason you were so impressed by the headteacher whereas the main selling point for the other school seems to be its reputation and results rather than anything special.

As others have already said, being local can have its advantages whether that's getting home earlier, being able to avoid relying on public transport, having local friends or even having the time before school to dash home and grab the forgotten PE kit. DC1 chose the local, single-sex comprehensive over a less local grammar they had a guaranteed place at - that was mainly because of the shorter journey time meaning more time to do their own thing. Four years on and it's a decision that's proved itself time and time again.

willowhazel · 09/04/2020 03:47

Coombe would suit his personality so much more

He will get better results at a school that suits him more than at one which doesn't.

mocktail · 09/04/2020 04:01

If you've now been offered your first choice are you sure you still have the option of turning it down and taking your second choice after all? Or will his place there have been reallocated?

Meredusoleil · 09/04/2020 06:45

That's what I thought too, but apparently you do get the choice to accept or decline the new waiting list offer. If you accept, the council withdraw the previously accepted school. If you decline it, you just keep the school you already had!

Meredusoleil · 10/04/2020 20:20

OP have you reached a decision about which school to go for yet? Just double checking you can still decline the first choice offer and keep your second choice ie original school offered instead?

HPFA · 11/04/2020 08:56

OP, I've checked the results at the two schools and the results for BOYS are not better at St Cecilia's.

Progress 8 for boys at St C's is 0.07 and the A8 is 45.8.

At Coombe Boys the same figures are 0.19 and 48.8

So given that the school is closer, you think your son will be happier there AND the results are better it seems a bit of a no brainer.

www.compare-school-performance.service.gov.uk/school/141808/saint-cecilia's-church-of-england-school/secondary/results-by-pupil-characteristics?accordionstate=3

helpmum2003 · 18/04/2020 08:09

Local is a big advantage. Starting High School is exhausting... And better for social life.

I personally don't get too tied up with exam results - it doesn't tell you how any individual will do and sometimes just reflects the intake. If your child is unhappy they won't do well whatever the school.

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