Uppingham or Fettes

[lok7]

My son is now 12 year old and would like to join year 9 in 2020. He just received the offers from Uppingham and Fettes. He is a happy and talkative person. He is strong at mathematics, and he doesn't really like sport/music. We would like to find a good academic, happy school for him, and explore his interest at maths/science.

Any idea about Uppingham or Fettes?

Many thanks.

What are your own impressions of each of them? I’m guessing, from absence of geographical proximity between the two, that you are based outside the U.K.? If so, do you have any connection to either, in terms of family or friends? Were you able to visit both schools before you applied or during the application process? Did your son have any preference?

As he gets older the environment outside school will be a large part of his experience. Do you think he’ll be happier in a market town or a capital city?

It’s worth saying that he will find himself obliged to take part in a fair amount of sport at either school. I’m sure both would encourage him to participation in music, even if he doesn’t play an instrument.

And I imagine, since he already has offers, that you’ve established that he actively wants to board?

We are based outside UK. No connection with either school. We would like to visit both schools before our decisions but unable under current circumstances.

My son enjoys playing sports. But not

We are based outside UK. No connection with neither school. We would like to visit both schools before our decisions but unable under current circumstances.

My son enjoys playing sports. But not loving them.

He has very good impressions in both schools so we don't know how to pick the more suitable one for him.

I would choose the nearest to an airport in normal circumstances but do you think that international travel will be allowed by September? I would put both places on hold.

Location is very different for these. Who is having DS during exeats? They are a long way from each other. Where are your family or guardians based?

Uppingham is very cut off from cities and larger towns. It’s essentially rural. If he wants more than the school environment, he won’t get it at Uppingham. DD looked at it and wasn’t happy about being so cut off.

Fettes is in the middle of Edinburgh and I think this could appeal more. It’s nearer to an airport! There is more to see and do in the vicinity. As boarders mature, most schools allow them out!

Most good schools provide activities other than sport. I would make sure DS can find activities that match his interests as well as the sport.

A few years ago, DD was friends with a boy from Uppingham and he felt it wasn’t cool to learn there. This was echoed by a girl friend who went to the 6th form there. So check the ethos.

My info might be out of date! But I understand that Uppingham is very much a full boarding school and friends who looked at Fetes (dad was an alumnus) said it was mainly day school now with some boarders. So it's inevitable that they will have a totally different feel to them.
If your after full boarding IME choose the school where the vast majority full board unless you're just up he road and coming home will be very easy.

No real help, but I dated several men from Uppingham back in the day. They were really mentally damaged. Honestly. Also all were misogynists, truly.

A friend said the same. Same experience.

Fettes, much, much more grounded! Centre of Edinburgh... lovely.

Uppingham is a lovely, all round school with no specific emphasis. Amazing music ,sport and a drive on pushing academics up. Everyone full boards with exeats every third weekend. A lovely rural feel to the school. Lots of country families there we felt. We liked it.
Not well linked for transport though. No idea about Fettes.
I would think you are the first person in history to be choosing between these two specific schools. Who on earth left you with these two to choose from. What’s the common ground ? Apart from them being senior schools ?

I’d imagine the OP has used an agency. It must be incredibly difficult to make such a huge decision without having been able to visit the schools.

“A lovely rural feel” suits those who want this (Although it doesn’t translate into activities) but Uppingham did have a history of badly behaved DC and has had to work hard to quash bullying. Too little to do in the rural idyll might have been an issue.

I took it on trust that Fettes had boarders. However some schools with few boarders fully make use of what’s available in the city and have great activities available. Also activities are inclusive and that’s good too. In Edinburgh there is lots to see and do. Even mooching is fun. So boarding numbers might not matter too much as long as the school organises activities for DC over and above sport.

I personally am not mad on Edinburgh its great to visit for a short time lots to do if you're a tourist I'd definitely recommend it if you just want to visit a Scottish city for a city break or something as there's plenty of touristy things to see but after a while I personally find it all a bit too touristy and definitely wouldn't want to live there its not cheap there either. I also found that many of the are people exceedingly unfriendly/unhelpful in contrast too the Glaswegians who are the total opposite everyone seems to says hello to you. I know this is a generalisation but this is my experience and I talking as someone who visits Scotland a lot.

Yes but you are not a tourist if you are at school there. My DDs boarded within reach of London. They were taken to plays, musicals, museums, restaurants, exhibitions, days out: lots of things not within easy reach of Uppingham. Being stuck in the deep country was just the same as home. There is more to do in Edinburgh and most Boarding DC won’t care about friendly locals or otherwise.

"Yes but you are not a tourist if you are at school there"
Thats the point I personally wouldn't want to live or board in a city that feels so touristy.
BubbleBuddy you appear to not like Uppingham and I know little about it some from DS's prep (admittedly nearly 10years ago) went there. The parents were very twin set and pearls/conservative with a small c they seemed very happy with it. None were parents who would approve of a "it's cool not to learn" ethos at least three went on music scholarships all very good musicians but not ones with future careers in music. They were all keen on sport but again not potential Olympians.
OP you really need to visit the schools before making your decision I appreciate its difficult at the moment. We all see something different I have been on many school visits with other parents and have loved a schools that others hated and vice versa. It's very much down to personal preference.

I actually have 1 DS full boarding in Edinburgh and 1 DS full boarding at school similar to Uppingham and not far from it. I would def recommend Uppingham or similar if coming from abroad, none of the Edinburgh schools fully board although they say they do. My DS often finds he is on his own at w/e as the ‘full boarders’ all go home or parents have flats in Edinburgh.
In contrast my other DS is in a market town with a full boarding ethos and it is def better for overseas students.

Please feel free to msg me direct of you want any info.

My DC both went to Uppingham (youngest left last year)
It always amazes me when I read reviews of schools written by people who did not attend them or their children did not attend them.
I can assure you that it was not’ cool not to learn’ - well , amongst my DC and their friends , anyway.
And to say all the Pupils were mentally deranged is lazy and insulting .
It is very easy to spread gossip about other schools but not often very accurate.
I am also slightly bewildered by the choice between Fettes and a Uppingham ( and I say that as someone who went to boarding school in Edinburgh )
I can only speak for Uppingham - great school, fabulously strong house system ( all pupils eat in house for all meals ) , very strong music, sport and drama excellent as well .
I mention these as well as academia ( which we found to be good , and teachers very supportive ) because boarding is about more than the academics .
I would look very carefully into how many pupils are actually at the school every weekend/ night .
Uppingham worked well because the school was full boarding so there was no mass exodus at the weekend.
It is very rural , and not hugely easy to get to from an airport - how would your child get to the school every term?

Does your child prefer an urban environment or rural?
Have you asked the schools how many overseas boarders they have in each year/ house?
What activities are available every weekend?
Uppingham have Saturday school and sport every Saturday. Chapel is compulsory every Sunday .
Where will your child go every exeat?
As I say, our DC very happy there - but we chose it because we knew it would suit them - they were very sociable, one musical , both sporty but in very different sports, middling academically and one loved drama. We believe education should be all round and were not looking for an academic hot house ( although new Head pushing academia more) . Their friends went on to a variety of universities both in the UK and America .
We liked the school because of its ‘ all roundness’ but that may not be for you.

As happygardening says upthread, what suits one family, might not suit yours. It is important to think what the whole experience would be like.
Do the pupils eat in house or central hall ? How many stay each night? Do they stay for prep /evening clubs? If not, how many do stay ? Is that the same for every year group? What do the pupils do when not in prep / games/ clubs?
What happens on Sundays when they have more free time?
If in Edinburgh, how often do they go into the city? Are they supervised? What is the pastoral care like? What is the wi fi like?

As I say , we were very happy with a Uppingham , I cannot give an opinion on Fettes as our DC did not go there and I have no family or close friends with children there. ( lovely building though!)

Thanks all.
We are a family in Hong Kong and the schools were recommended by the agent.
We are very fortunate to get the offers from two fabulous schools and that's why, it's really difficult to make the decision. The best is we can come and get a feeling before we can make the choice. But sadly we can't do it now. So, I really treasure all your opinions and questions of which they are all crucial.
@petrova, thanks for your information and I will ask the agent if they have similar information for Fettes.

What were the reasons for your geographical distancing, TattingerFizzer?

OP have you had any personal interaction with the schools - Facetime / Skype meetings and interview; or telephone calls?

I know agents bring many many families and schools together. I’m sure yours has discussed their reasons for suggesting these specific schools? But it seems ... strange. (Exacerbated by travel restrictions, obviously.)

Particularly as you say you’ve only just received your offers. This suggests to me that either your son took scholarship exams or the agent was looking for schools with last-minute vacancies. I’m only curious because in my fairly recent experience, most boarding pupils (even those coming from overseas) know which senior school they’re going to a good two and a half years before they start.

I hope whichever school you choose will make every effort to get to know your son, remotely, over the summer. For obvious reasons all new pupils will be missing pre-arranged meet-ups in their prospective boarding houses. It must be hard for house masters /mistresses to look towards a new term where they don’t know the pupils who will be joining the house.

Who said all the pupils were mentally deranged?

I have known quite a few DC who have been there and I deliberately left out the case of bullying a young DS experienced where he was found in a field sobbing because he had to escape. However I know all schools suit some DC and I know Uppingham has worked on its image. It suits some DC but, like many boarding schools, being robust is probably necessary.

I’m not anti Uppingham but I’ve never met anyone who went there that really liked it. My DD also said her friend that went there was given a very unflattering nickname by the 6th form boys. This could happen anywhere of course but it didn’t leave a pleasant warm feeling about the school. The girls were given ranking numbers too regarding how attractive they were to the boys. Hopefully a better type of boy rocks up there now!

petrova point about full boarding is very important as is TattingerFizzer point about Edinburgh based boarding schools I'm not in the last bit surprised that that her DS is on his own at the weekends. You are clearly looking fir full boarding so my money would be on Uppingham which is definitely a full boarding school. My DS2 went to a full boarding only school, and Ive worked at boarding school a proper full boarding only school (of which they're are not that many left) will have. totally deferent feel/ethos/atmosphere to it when compared to a boarding school with a mixture of weekly flexi full boarders and day pupils. You also need to be careful schools are notoriously economical with the truth when it comes to the numbers of full boarders. Never forget that they want and need your money only a tiny handful are genuinely very over subscribed what ever their websites say (I doubt very much that either Fettes or Uppingham are), there is little appetite for full boarding amongst UK parents and also a limited number who have or want to stump up £45k a year in fees. We visited a school years go they made sweeping claims about having lots of full boarders until I actually asked one housemaster "so how many from this house were in school all of this weekend?" after a bit of waffle the house master admitted only 3! A friend who hadn't been quite so persistent sent her DS there believing it to be full boarding (even though I said it wasn't) and her biggest complaint within a term; everyone goes home at the weekend. Another friend looked at a school claiming to have lots of full boarders but she later heard the full boarding numbers weren't as high as the school was claiming and actually went round the dorms and at the end of every bed said "so does this one stay in at the weekend?" again the schools initial slightly vague claim that "probably about 60ish % are around at the weekend" on close examination dwindled to a handful of pupils from overseas.
When my DS was at boarding school the commonest complaintI I used to hear after the cost pf fees was that they sent their DC to X believing it to be full boarding and it wasn't. More than a couple of friends felt very aggrieved and by this that they were not getting what they believed they'd signed up for and were paying for and removed their DCs at the end of year 11 to send them to day schools.
With regard to the rural versus city debate. This very much depends on your DC. We live in a rural environment my DS went to a city be based school, all be it a small city, you didn't have to go far to get to the countryside. he liked the fact that you could go into town do a bit of shopping etc, many of his friends were were from London and they could easily get home on the train. On the other hand as lover of everything rural in particular horses I would have loved to be in a rural boarding school (assuming they had horses!). I've worked in boarding schools in both, the in the city based one certainly had more do do at weekends shops museums cinema etc and they were allowed to do these things largely unsupervised especially as they got older. The one based in a small rural town, the older pupils, in particular would moan about not being able to cinema etc at the weekend due the lack of public transport and the high cost of taxis but this particular school also placed quite a lot of restrictions on what even the older children were allowed to do in their spare time.
Ideally you need to visit each school before deciding but as you cant draw up list of must haves, the things that matter to you not your agent, we're hopelessly liberal by nature we choose a liberal school, I hate ridiculous outdated uniform DS's school had a very lax uniform policy. My DS had been playing a specific sport since yr 2 of prep he wanted to continue it, if your DS does a particular sport check the school offer it, how often and to which year groups and at what level they do it. One friend sent her golf loving but not overly academic DS to a well know boarding school but failed to ask the school if they had a golf course and then moaned when he couldn't play. Another friend raved about the various activities offered by the school her DD was going too and then discovered that X was only open to those in yr 11 and above and Y clashed with Z. Other things you might want to find out are how flexible they are on end of term dates. At DS's school those from abroad could not go home even the night before the end of term in fact some form HK were made to to stay another night rather than fly home 24 hours early. At other schools they will let you do this if this is going to annoy you look into it. Ask about exeats some schools don't have then or have very few others, will let overseas pupils stay in school, other will insist that they go to their guardian, Do you have guardian lined up? The need to be with sensible travelling distance of the school. You say your DS doesn't like sport, sport is a big part of boarding school life. When I worked at a well known boarding school that prided its self on offering broad curriculum the pupils did a sport a minimum of three times a week not everyone wants to stand on a rugby pitch at last three tines a week come hell of high water or more accurately a howling gale and pissing rain find out what sports are offered and if they are compulsory. DS2's school was unusual because it had no compulsory major sport but nearly everywhere else will have at least 2-3 major compulsory sports very term.
I spent over 10+ years with DS's at boarding schools nowhere is perfect there will always be little things that irritate you but IME and and from listening to friends if you're largely happy with your school then your DC's will be largely happy but if there are lots of things that are just not quite right the big things: they're lonely at weekends you don't like the schools ethos its too, liberal or too restrictive and the little things; rugby thee times week for the rugby hater, no golf course, your DD can't to ballet because it clashes with the wind band etc then you start to get disillusioned and unhappy your DC picks up on this and they start to feel unhappy too. I always say if it matter to you or your DC ask never assume it will be there email the school and ask about the things that are important to you both.
Good luck let us know what you decide.

"I deliberately left out the case of bullying"
Come on BubblesBuddy you know that this can happen at any school boarding or day state or independent.
"I’m not anti Uppingham but I’ve never met anyone who went there that really liked it"
Im not on Uppinghams payroll and many years ago I did look at it for DS2 as a fall back and felt it wasn't right for us at all but all who went there from DS's prep talked very highly of it. I can think of at least two others boarding schools who I used to regularly hear quite a lot of negative feedback from other parents.

Friend's Ds is at Uppingham and loves it. Sport, music, social side of things and the academics have been good for him. He's being stretched more academically at Uppingham, than his other well regarded independent school - where it was definitely not cool to be seen studying.

I think it's good if schools can have a more comprehensive intake, because that reflects everyday life. Just because someone is gifted at art, does not stop them from loving science or English, etc.

Bubbles buddy -
Every time Uppingham is mentioned in a question you jump on to talk about the bullying.
No school is exempt from bullying ( any school that says it is is lying) - what you always fail to mention is the expulsions that followed the bullying ( and how many years ago it was)
No school is perfect, it is how the schools deal with problems that is important.
I know many, many children who went to Uppingham and really enjoyed it - and that includes my own DC .

Really??? It’s hardly ever mentioned and I’ve rarely mentioned what happened. There was far more in the national press than I’ve ever said! I know of one case but it was shocking. Bullying can happen anywhere but when parents are overseas it’s a huge concern. No escape and no coming home at the end of the day!

If you are overseas you need plenty of boarders. My DDs both boarded and I like the idea of boarding but neither of these schools would appeal to us. Mainly due to location of Uppingham and, if Fettes has few boarders, that would remove that one too.

I very clearly stated that some parents don’t mind DC being remote and in the middle of nowhere much. Others would hate every minute of it!

If I’m honest, I don’t think either school sounds right for your son. You say he wants to explore maths and science and isn’t sporty. I really don’t think Uppingham is a perfect fit. Yes the boarding is perfect as it’s full boarding but this is a rural, all round school where pupils are expected to engage in all aspects of a rounded school life that Uppingham offers. Likewise Fettes does not appear to be a proper boarding school so you will have the oft heard complaint of empty weekend boarding houses with just a handful of overseas boys there.
Rather than rush into a decision now, I would be looking for a proper full boarding school which has good airport links and is close to your UK guardians (where he will go every three weeks for an exeat as per all full boarding schools). Sounds like you want a school which allows children to fulfil academic (maths/science) natural curiosities and bypass compulsory sport.
There’s got to be 20 (?) other full boarding schools that are going to offer a happier experience than either Uppingham or will do. Your child’s happiness and fulfilment is at stake here and you seem to be rushing in without doing your homework - and you should visit several appropriate schools before choosing one. If this means waiting a year, so be it.

But then the OP's son would miss the natural entry point. So less choice of school, harder to fit in, and no chance of a scholarship (if that's the entry route they're taking.)

But I agree about the rushing of decision making. I'm a vocal advocate of boarding - but cannot imagine sending a child to board in another country without having built up a really strong relationship with the school first. (Unless evacuation through war or pandemic.)

It does sound as if the OP wasn't in a position to consider every possible school at the 'right' time.