Drugs and ‘party scene’ in indy schools

[MGMidget]

I am weighing up some independent school choices at secondary level for my DS and wondering how much of of an issue drugs or a general party scene is in these schools and how much it varies from one school to another? I am hoping not to put my DS into a school where there is a bigger danger than average of him being lead astray and flunking his exams since we are making sacrifices for private education. It obviously isn’t a problem individual schools would readily admit to and I am not planning to discuss individual schools. I just wondered if it is a significant risk factor for DCs in many private schools and if so is it more of a problem in coeds than single sex or no different?

I often found that it was the strictest parents that had the rebel kids.
The kids who were ‘not allowed’ to drink, were often the ones getting hammered!

The schools have no idea what their students are doing in the holidays or weekends.

In my DC’s circle of friendship which includes state and privately educated, there is a shocking level of drinking and drug use which starts youngest amongst the privately educated with liberal parents and access to money.

Weed and ‘box’ is an issue amongst the state schools but the private school kids have a wide range of drugs, MDMA, cocaine etc.

However, not all teens take them.

But beware: it isn’t rare.

To answer a few questions raised about my own parenting and son’s behaviour.., I am pretty confident he is one of the last to be lead astray amongst his current peers/in his current school setting. He is seen as very well behaved, follows school rules and seems independently minded enough not to get sucked in to some of the group activities other parents have been bemoaning (such as the Fortnite craze and some schoolmates ‘whatsapp’ groups that are full of bad language, apparently). Therefore I am not particularly worried that he is vulnerable to this. I am just wondering if there is a significant factor I haven’t been weighing up when deciding between schools! The glossy brochures and open day events don’t address this and I guess many parents don’t think about it before their children reach the teenage years. Interested to read the wisdom of the posters with older kids so thanks for your comments!

Ask the question. Ask the head to explain their policy on illegal drug use, and how they implement or enforce it. If they say they don't have an issue at all they are almost certainly lying, as the chances of not one single kid in a school dabbling in drugs is highly implausible. You're better off with a school that acknowledges that this is a live issue affecting teenagers and their schools, and with very firm rules and consequences for breaking the rules

I would be more interested in drugs education and alcohol abuse education. Draconian measures are taken for very few. The ones who get caught. The ones who don’t bother to hide what they are doing. They like the brinkmanship of it!

Many DC just have a dabble occasionally or just walk away. In fact, I don’t think a dabble should result in permanent exclusion. What does it teach about redemption? Such an act requires education and not being cast out from society. Dealing is different.

What DC do in their own time is often hidden from schools. The idea that not allowing sleep overs etc stops the odd smoking weed episode is frankly ludicrous. DC find a way if they want to try drugs. Sometimes trying them isn’t a great experience and they never dabble again.

It’s all about knowing your child and educating them if you can. However I’ve know normal decent parents who have had DC with severe drug problems. One child in the family. The children concerned were totally drawn to drugs. Nothing could persuade them this was a poor choice. One DS died. One got into rehab. It’s not parenting or school that affected these DSs. It was their personality, choices and really not seeing the harm in what they were doing.