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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Teen and homework hell

58 replies

QuixoticQuokka · 06/03/2020 17:46

How do you get teens to do homework that they don't want to do? My 13 year old is of the opinion that as the school has consequences then he is free to choose between either doing the homework or accepting the consequence. The consequences are lunchtime detentions where he can sit reading to his heart's content .

The homework that he doesn't want to do is the English reading scheme. It's not so much the reading itself, though he doesn't enjoy some of the genres and sees reading these particular books as a form of torture, it's the associated tasks. I think he's caught up to where he should have got to by Christmas, maybe, I can't get any clear answers out of him, he had been telling me he was up to date before when it turns out he wasn't. I'm a sole parent and I work full time so he usually does homework after school before I get home. I have taken his tablet away that he was actually reading web serials on. He is now re-reading The Three Body Problem and I don't know if this is a delay tactic as it's a long book or if it will actually count for the scheme. I just want him to bring home some easy 200-300 page YA novel from the school library and just get the tasks done! He won't talk to me about it so I don't know what to do.

OP posts:

KoalasandRabbit · 07/03/2020 15:35

I would leave mine to it as long as their grades aren't falling or school hasn't sent a complaint home but if he's reading at school instead of reading at home can't see a huge issue.

Original poster

QuixoticQuokka · 07/03/2020 16:05

A 6/7 is a good grade isn't it? He's hated English since he was four so I wouldn't expect a 8/9. The HOY can forward the email can't they, I don't see how that's different to a note?

He reads at school and home, he reads all the time.

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Stormyjupiter · 07/03/2020 16:25

It is a good grade if that's best he can get. Hating english and reading books of his choice all the time at home doesn't make sense though.
You say he reads all the time. But have you spoke to him about difference between 6/7 and 8/9? He clearly loves reading, and only in yr7. So, there are so much time, why think 6/7 is good enough?

ElderAve · 07/03/2020 16:31

I gave up eventually and left them to it. Strangely, it was exactly that time they started applying themselves. Honestly I think the constant nagging support can be counter productive. I stopped when I realised it had more chance of destroying our relationship than getting them better academic results.

They're both adults now, probably never were destined to excel academically but got good enough grades to persue their dreams - their dreams, not mine.

LangClegsOpinionIsNoted · 07/03/2020 16:32

A 7 is an old A, 6 an old B. Ish. Those grades are fine.

I would just leave him. Save your energy for making him read and reread the GCSE set texts. Ex English teacher here.

Stormyjupiter · 07/03/2020 16:46

Lang, you don't get my point at all. Those grades are great. But for children who can get better but can't be bothered just because they hate the genre, they may not be doing the favour themselves. Op isn't talking about yr9/10 children, she is talking about yr7 child. I really doubt it if you were a good English teacher, Lang. They should be able to encourage children to read something they never liked.

Original poster

QuixoticQuokka · 07/03/2020 16:57

He is year 9. I don't think he could get an 8/9, he's never been very good at English, it's been a battle since Reception to get him to write. He loves reading, they sent home a letter in year 7 saying he had a reading age of 16, just hates English.

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Original poster

QuixoticQuokka · 07/03/2020 17:10

I do expect him to get an 8/9 in science (triple plus computer science), maths and DT, I don't know about history, but he's just not that good at English.

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KoalasandRabbit · 07/03/2020 17:17

I think he's doing very well overall then and would leave him be in English. I was forced to read in English books I hated, it probably did help my grade but never picked up a fiction book since and would never make mine do it. I also have a DS who is very maths / sciencey and not too keen on English, he rarely reads and all non-fiction, he is ASD. He's year 8 on 7/8 border for English and I'm delighted with that. He got 108 for English SATS (118 SPAG) so think it's roughly where he should be.

QGMum · 07/03/2020 17:26

I really doubt it if you were a good English teacher, Lang. They should be able to encourage children to read something they never liked.

@Stormyjupiter I think that's unnecessarily harsh. Have you ever actually tried to get a Y9 to read something they didn't want to? If you've had success with this please can you share how you did it?

Unusualsuspicion · 07/03/2020 17:39

"he's just not that good at English."

Yet he reads constantly? I wouldn't worry about the homework specifically, I'd worry about what is holding him back from higher grades. It doesn't seem right that someone with that level of enthusiasm for the written word (and a reading age of 16 at 11) should not be getting a top grade in GCSE especially if they are performing highly elsewhere. Why do you think he 'isnt that good'? Is it still writing holding him back? Are there possible physical issues or dyslexia? It doesn't necessarily always affect reading skill. My ds (much younger) is also a serious bookworm but writing is a struggle and he needs extra help accessing the curriculum. He has the brains and imagination to shine but not if he's expected to show it via the medium of handwriting! Don't see his current level if English attainment as set in stone, it isn't.

Stormyjupiter · 07/03/2020 17:43

I haven't with yr9, but my dc's teacher with yr7 dc did. Or yr6/5/4/3. It's English teacher's job to make some books interesting, isn't it? My dc reads only limited stuff at home. But I have no problem them reading something they need to read. Maybe I am really lucky I that I my dc have some great teacher.

Original poster

QuixoticQuokka · 07/03/2020 18:02

It's the writing, yes, typing too. He can ace a test like the 11 plus where he doesn't have to write, I only bought him a practice book and he did it himself, he passed untutored by me or anyone else.

I don't think what he reads is particularly limited, it's all science fiction and fantasy but it's everything from The Three Body Problem to The Book of Dust, it's not all the same.

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Stormyjupiter · 07/03/2020 18:17

I don't know. It's up to you as a parents and your ds. What I think is, either reading or writing won't improve in a short period of time.

LangClegsOpinionIsNoted · 07/03/2020 18:34

I really doubt it if you were a good English teacher, Lang. They should be able to encourage children to read something they never liked.

Rude. I was a brilliant English teacher. I would definitely be able to get a reluctant student through a text they didn't like while they were in the classroom with me. Because I'd be there to make it interesting for them. And cajole, bribe and threaten as needed. But this isn't the same. This is asking him to read things he doesn't want to read at home, on his own. For what reason? What proven benefit? He will cover a range of different genres and text types in his lessons. At home he ought to be able to read what he likes.

If I were in his shoes, and being told to read some shitty books I didn't enjoy, or thought were dire (i.e. Marian Keys type drivel) I'd take the detention too.

Also having spent over a decade as a teacher, I have come to the conclusion that the kid who gets a 7 in English but isn't driven to hate the subject by constant pushing, nagging and whatever 'intervention' strategies the school have pulled out of their arse lately, has had a better deal than the kid who gets an 8 but never picks up a book again. And are usually more independent learners who cope better with a level study.

Btw, if the reading scheme is in place of other homework in English, it's being done to reduce teacher workload. That's all. That'll be why his English teacher didn't want to see the OP at parents eve., because they don't much care if it's being done either.

Stormyjupiter · 07/03/2020 18:52

Lang, don't get it. If he truly hates reading, he won't be reading at all. But OP says he reads all the time. I just think it's just a waste of talent. I was the same. I was a great reader from early age, but had very limited preference. My teacher changed that. You don't even need to be a good teacher, tbh, you just need to be an inspirational teacher to change the pupils's life.

Original poster

QuixoticQuokka · 07/03/2020 19:10

How is it a waste? He reads for pleasure and he reads to access information in sciences and history. He has no interest in English beyond getting the necessary grade 6 to get into his school sixth form. I've tried telling him that the universities will look at the GCSE grades, but it's all too far away for him to care about at 13.

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LangClegsOpinionIsNoted · 07/03/2020 19:11

Yes, he reads things that he enjoys all the time. His English teachers will introduce him to new styles and genres in their lessons, and hopefully he'll find more things he likes. So why should OP force him to read things he doesn't like? What good are you expecting to come from that?

Stormyjupiter · 07/03/2020 19:19

I said waste of a talent, not a waste. Can you really not see the difference?
From what I think, if the child has no interest of doing better and parents are happy with it, then I think it's fine. I just thought a child who reads all the time for pleasure had more potential.

Original poster

QuixoticQuokka · 07/03/2020 19:28

More potential to do what? He wants to go into something STEM related. He uses his talent for reading to access information in science already and has been reading adult popular science books since he was ten.

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Stormyjupiter · 07/03/2020 19:34

Then why did you start this thread? If you don't care about either he does his homework or not which isn't important for him, then just leave it. Tell his teacher the things you said to me.

LangClegsOpinionIsNoted · 07/03/2020 19:35

Stormy, I still don't see that there is a causal connection between "doesn't want to do the wanky reading scheme that even his own teacher doesn't care about" and "won't meet full potential in four years time".

Op, focus on him working hard in lessons, make sure he knows his strengths and weaknesses in the subject and what his teacher wants him to do to improve. Keep him reading, stuff he actually likes, and make sure he is reading things written for an adult readership. Teens tend to fall into a YA fiction pit at about 13/14, which is unhelpful for developing more sophisticated vocabulary, syntax etc.

If he likes sci-fi and fantasy, has he read any of Pratchett's discworld? Pratchett was an amazing writer, and there's loads of novels, enough to keep him going for a while! Would recommend the ones focused on the City Watch for a boy his age, if he likes them he can branch out into the others.

Original poster

QuixoticQuokka · 07/03/2020 19:42

I want him to do his homework, I just don't have a clue how to make him do it. He's saying he can use the book he's reading for one of the tasks. It might be a delay tactic, I don't know, I can hardly take all the books away.

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Stormyjupiter · 07/03/2020 19:43

Lang, I don't either. But I thought she wanted him to do it. So trying to find out a good reason behind why children sometimes need to work on something they don't like. But clearly, op is happy he won't. So no reason for me to care either.

Original poster

QuixoticQuokka · 07/03/2020 19:59

Thanks for the reassurance Lang .

He is reading a mix of adult and YA books, probably more adult books these days, we often get books from the library and read the same ones (when I find the time and they're the 300 page ones that I can put down and pick up and keep track of what is going on). He started on the YA books at about 9 and has read many of the ones he is interested in so is mostly reading new books as they come out now. My friend's DH tried to introduce him to Terry Pratchett a couple of years ago and I've pointed them out in the library since but he's not interested for some reason.

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