Help with financial school decision please?

[irisamarie]

My DD has very received a substantial scholarship offer from school A but has also very now received a small scholarship offer from school B. DD is heartbroken as School B has more sports and is the school she had her heart set on. School A is stringer academically.

It will be very hard for us to accept the School B offer but I struggle to see DD so very unhappy.

DH and I are delighted she was selected for any scholarship at all so was not prepared for any drama.

Has anyone advice on how to choose or handle disappointment?

apologies for bad typing!

School A. You’ll struggle for school B and within a few weeks in school A she will settle in and it’ll be her new normal. Don’t spend years struggling if they’re both good schools.

Thank you DukeChatsworth . I am feeling like a bad parent for making DD so sad. She has cousins who go to school B and I did not know she was so attached to it.

Does School B have much less money available than School A? If so there’s not much room for negotiation.

If School B is equally wealthy but has decided to offer more scholarship money to other pupils - it suggests they are slightly less keen on your daughter.

If there’s any possibility that they simply offered the least they felt you would accept there may possibly be some flexibility. I have known schools to increase amounts awarded when informed that another school has offered the same child more.

However, you have only mentioned scholarship awards. Does School B not offer means tested bursaries in addition? Would that not be worth discussing with them?

I agree that it would be worth making an appointment with the Bursar at School B to negotiate. The combination of your DD desperately wanting to go there, having family ties to the school and having a better offer elsewhere might be a winner.

I have experience of this as we decided the school our 11 year old went to against her wishes. It was very stressful for a long time but we felt, as adults and her parents, that we were the ones that should make the decision. There were arguments and there were objections and she was very cross for a while. But now; she absolutely loves her school and we know that we made the right decision; as painful as it was at the time. If your daughter is very sporty she probably has opportunities to play sport outside of school right? So even if school A is not as sporty does it really mean that overall your daughter will play less sport? Good luck with your decision!

Thanks for the support in this everyone,

SurpriseSparDay I have bursary offers from some schools (including School A) but not School B. I think School B has offered the least they thought we would expect.

I did phone yesterday and they said they would not offer anything further,

Feeling stronger about accepting School A. DD can do sport outside of school and is likely to receive better teaching at School A.

She is still quite miserable today however...

There a lot to be said for going to the school that really wants you!

School A:

• stronger academically
• more economic leeway
• less risk of having to pull her out before GCSEs in case of unexpected bad news (jobs, illness)

In this case the adults must decide.

Trying to find a positive spin, if she is sporty and school A is less known for sports, she will have the opportunity to really shine at sports and participate in lots with less competition!

These are all good points and I am feeling increasingly stronger about this.

A is the sensible choice I think maybe we should just accept a period of emotional mourning.

I think if we chose B we would have to take out a loan of some sort .
which is not a sensible action really.

She probably doesn't appreciate the goodwill behind school A's offer. I think the girls are a bit gentler in school A also which she would benefit from.

School A. Putting yourself under financial pressure is not in anyone's best interests. Our DC had other preferences than the school we chose to send them to. They are happy there and it was definitely the right decision.
It's hard being a parent sometimes but you are a parent not their friend. Be very positive about school A and within 6 weeks of starting I'm sure your DD will be happy.
Good Lu k.