Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Forward-thinking schools allowing hair dye

63 replies

OliviaCarts · 30/01/2020 19:15

My son is 11 years old and leans towards a creative/self-expressive personality. He has his heart set on colouring his hair. Does anyone know of any London schools, preferably in the south west, that are open to students colouring their hair in unnatural colours? It is a deciding factor in our choice for him.

OP posts:
OliviaCarts · 31/01/2020 15:57

Thank you @Malmontar for your response, I appreciate you taking the time. Absolutely, it's all about the overall ethos. A relaxed uniform policy usually suggests a less conservative school and rules and regulations simply for their own sake do not bring out the best in our son, as was our experience at primary school.

Our son is currently thriving academically and creatively in a London school and the Headmaster has been lenient towards his coloured hair to date, justifying this by his impressive performance, maturity and kind consideration towards his peers and teachers. Moving forward, the hair colour is being discouraged as it is not within the school policy, although exceptions can be made - very soon he will be travelling abroad for a school music competition and it has been acknowledged that image and 'unnatural' hair is part of the package in rock and roll! This is an example of the type of open attitude we believe is essential in a school.

His hair is important as he leads a punk/new wave band and they have gigs lined up this summer. Last year he would perform/busk in various London locations and the recognition he would later get surprised us all. We must have been stopped randomly half a dozen or so times from people in the street - the reality is that his hair made him instantly recognisable. One such encounter resulted in a summer party gig on Eel Pie Island and I'm sure it cannot be denied how positive this is for the confidence of a child, let alone how valuable the experience is for a (potentially) budding musician.

Hair colour also allowed him the opportunity to present himself as he saw himself - a young creative who is challenging social norms and thinking deeply about the world and his place in it. The songs he currently writes and performs reflect this. Surely no bad thing for a child to open their minds and explore possibilty in global uncertainty. And his hair certainly brings no harm!

Mumsnet has served as a great starting point for possible options and it is wonderful to know that there are schools which are more left than right in their approach. His current school is a prep school and we may need to explore other options down the line, hence my debut question. The outrage from some users - whilst quite funny - may make it my first and last. I think 'sisterhood' and enlightened conversation can overall be better found elsewhere. I am, however, grateful to those who have helped with suggestions and send my sincere thanks to you.

Over and out...

OP posts:
Kuraokami · 31/01/2020 16:04

Bedales all the way! Nephew has been every colour of the rainbow there.
Also I've seen some fantastic colour at St Paul's Girls School but obviously this is not good for your son!

ForeverbyJudyBlume · 31/01/2020 16:06
Biscuit
slipperywhensparticus · 31/01/2020 16:08

I see no ranting and raving? Just people laughing at you

Home educate

GrannyBags · 31/01/2020 16:09

Don’t you need to be 14 to have a Busker’s license?

MrsSlocombesPussy · 31/01/2020 16:09

Hair dye isn't supposed to be used on under 16s

JKScot4 · 31/01/2020 16:12

his impressive performance, maturity and kind consideration towards his peers and teachers
Really? gosh what a boy!
Hair colour also allowed him the opportunity to present himself as he saw himself - a young creative who is challenging social norms and thinking deeply about the world and his place in it
Do parents really talk about their kids like this? BiscuitBiscuitBiscuit he’s 11 and dyed his hair not the next leader of the world!!

LolaSmiles · 31/01/2020 16:12

It's good he is creative. I'm not entirely convinced that being able to dye your hair whatever colour forms reasonable criteria for assessing the best educational provision. You may struggle to find a state school that supports express yourself how you like with flexibility in how the rules work and who they apply to (and rightly so, after all, why should some get a free pass above others?).

ChickLitLover · 31/01/2020 16:15

Last year he would perform/busk in various London locations and the recognition he would later get surprised us all. We must have been stopped randomly half a dozen or so times from people in the street - the reality is that his hair made him instantly recognisable.

😳 He’s 11..... and you see him being recognised and approached in the street as a good thing? I really hope this isn’t real.

SpruceTree · 31/01/2020 16:19

Maybe it's a reverse post from the Head of Bedales touting for business Grin

JKScot4 · 31/01/2020 16:19

@Chick
Would mummy notice him being recognised? her head is so far up her arse with delusions of this phenomenally quirky talented child 🙄

Besidesthepoint · 31/01/2020 16:20

I used to have pink hair and go to a non uniform school and I actually felt and was more pressured to look exactly as my peers than at the uniform school. People were bullied for wearing the wrong stuff. Don't just base your choice solely on the rules, please try and look at the school culture as well.

sunshineandshowers21 · 31/01/2020 16:27

so last year he was ten and he was busking, leading a band, and doing gigs? yeah alright then love 😂 picking a school based on whether they let kids dye their hair is ridiculous! there’s plenty of time to be an individual after you’ve left school.

Zurina · 31/01/2020 16:35

Meh, dyes shouldn't be banned in the first place in secondary imo, but using it as deciding factor is OTT. I got told off for red highlights in Year 8, but not for the dark plum colour in Year 9 or the blue-black in Year 10. And plenty of girls dyed their hair red or burgundy by Year 10/11. As long as your hair wasn't bright pink or green etc then they softened up rules later years.

poseysbobblehat · 31/01/2020 16:43

Riiiiggghhht 👍🏻

PanicAndRun · 31/01/2020 16:48

Or he could do what I do and wait for the summer holidays to go all out.

Drabarni · 31/01/2020 16:51

Gosh, as long as he can dye his hair, fuck the GCSE's Grin
And the award for most Bizarre parenting, here's your badge x

harper30 · 31/01/2020 16:55

Bahahahahaha that most recent OP comment has made me piss myself with laughter.

JKScot4 · 31/01/2020 16:56

@harper30
What a disappointing sisterhood we all are 🤣🤣
Think OP better stop smoking 😉😉

harper30 · 31/01/2020 16:57

I'm glad he won't be coming to the comp I teach at, we don't allow hair dye, and you, as a parent, sound like an absolute nightmare.

PineappleDanish · 31/01/2020 17:00

My son is 11 and there's a child in his class with ridiculous hair too. Not coloured, but all shaved up one side and a huge long fringe over his eyes like the New Romantics back in the day.

He gets recognised too - in a "look, there's the boy with the stupid hair" type way.

And as for "he leads a punk/new wave band" - he's 11.

LolaSmiles · 31/01/2020 17:02

harper30
I don't think the hair dye is the reason you've had an escape, more the obvious attitude that their child is more unique and creative and talented than almost anyone else.
We've all met them, although amusingly in my experience the students of those parents are middle to good at best, and the parents of the most talented and exceptional students are reserved and unassuming.

PineappleDanish · 31/01/2020 17:03

present himself as he saw himself - a young creative who is challenging social norms and thinking deeply about the world and his place in it.

He sounds like a total nightmare. Honestly OP, catch yourself on and just listen to yourself, and how pretentious you sound. HE IS ELEVEN.

Drabarni · 31/01/2020 17:03

OP, you could try the music schools, wear what they like, hair what they like. Go to school in a onesie if you want.
He'll need to pass auditions, but shouldn't be a problem if he's leading bands at 11, they'll snap him up.

Cohle · 31/01/2020 17:12

I think 'sisterhood' and enlightened conversation can overall be better found elsewhere.

GrinGrin

I think you'll have a fair time trying to find conversation enlightened enough for you OP.