Those of you with teens struggling with mental health what support do they get or where can they go when struggling at school? *TITLE EDITED BY MNHQ*

[Hart1eyHare]

At a loss as to what to tell my dc to do or expect when feeling really low at school.

Our school has pretty good pastoral care (DD is a frequent visitor at times).
They also include 'looking after mental health' messages in their weekly newsletter to help parents help their DC.
They can refer to our local 'youth services' charity which provide counselling.
But they do make it clear that they are not doctors and any diagnosable conditions need to go via the GP.

What is the pastoral care?

There is a person assigned to each year group whose sole role is to look after the social/emotional well being of the year group.

DD has been given a space to talk about her concerns, been helped develop strategies to cope herself, sometimes intervention with other pupils, sometimes passing info on to teachers.

Do you have a struggling DC?

We have a school counsellor. Like other posters, they deal with everyday concerns. Where a deeper mental health concern exists, they call and suggest medical assessment and professional care.
Dd2 has OCD and anxiety. She self referred to school counsellor, saw her for a few sessions, and then the counsellor got her permission to speak with me to refer for psych.

What is your dc struggling with?

When my dc have had poor MH, we have talked about good self care, tried to ensure healthy screen time, done things as a family, encouraged healthy friendships, arranged private counselling... it depends what the problem is.

There should be pastoral care staff at school too.

Yes my dc is struggling. He’s only allowed to see head of house. School counsellor said he’d be better seeing someone out of school which he is and CAMHS assessment has come through but he’s struggling in school. Last week not good. H of H doesn’t really get him or the problem. Hasn’t seen him since before Christmas, didn’t turn up last time and only really checks his phone to see how much screen time he’s had and discusses whether he’s made good exercise/ food choices out of school during the sessions. Dc doesn’t think he’s that interested and he just needs a place to pop in, somebody interested to talk to, listen and when really wobbly I guess. He’s making progress out of school but days are long with nobody to talk to when he wobbles in school and he gets lower iykwim.No idea what to suggest. He doesn’t need a hand hold, mollycoddling or anything just better support than he’s getting. I don’t know what to suggest.

This may sound drastic, but would you consider a move to a school with better support?
It depends on loads of stuff I know, but say your DC is only in y7 and there is another school accessible with better quality of care, then it might be worth considering.
An unhappy child is unlikely to achieve their best, so even if an alternate school is considered less good academically it could still be the better option?

To be honest I don’t know if there is more support somewhere and he just doesn’t know. We’ve been in contact and nothing else has been suggested other than he can only speak to head of house which is great if you have an understanding hofh up to speed with MH who you get on with,not so much if you don’t. Got to get through this year. Is there a bare minimum in every school? I’ve looked on the website which looks all shiny and pretty but when you click on things there is nothing there behind buttons and actually very little info overall.

I don't think there is a 'bare minimum' in what they have to provide, and with budget cuts pastoral is perhaps an 'easy' saving to make.

When you say 'got to get through this year' do you mean he's y11?

Yep. Fun times.😩

Have you joined the y11 support thread? They might be able to share coping strategies?

No don’t think I have. Coping strategies other than drowning yourself in gin and running for the hills ,both of which sound very tempting at the moment, might be useful.

This thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/3788701-Thread-3-Continuing-to-GCSEs-Summer-2020-Happy-New-Exam-Year

My DD missed a lot of year 11 and still got excellent results. The best things her school did was provide her with lots of support. Even her headteacher (very large comp) came out one day to persuade her to go in. She had the school counsellor as well. She had a safe space to eat her lunch and every teacher knew about her issues and tried to make allowances. Oh and the Exam Officer was also supportive as far as possible.
Another girl in her year was allowed breaks during exams. More than one pupil spent revision and exam period only in school when crucial.
Admittedly my DD having started Sixth Form college had a major wobble and has now quit and is planning to do OU instead.

Dad has anxiety, dr was great referred counseling which comes to school. Separate room for exams are now in place and if she needs 5 minutes out of class she can. Hard slog but at least it’s helping.

Dd not Dad lol

Both my Dc's schools have on site counsellors. DS1 had 12 weeks in Year 7, as part of the transition process. He's year 11 now, and his notes apparently say that he is flagged as maybe needing support, so he can access the counsellor if needed, and everyone of his teachers is aware.

And he's not struggling. Those that are have daily access to support.

Normal good state primary.

Your school doesn't sound great, to be honest.