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Secondary education

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Original poster

Advice re choosing between CLC, Benenden and Downe House

19 replies

WildFlowerGarden · 25/01/2020 10:35

Hi there,

I was wondering if anyone could offer any advice and \ or current insights into any of these schools.

DD (Y6) is bright but has some mild social communication issues which are being worked on with her prep school counsellor. She is basically a bit socially immature - she prefers to play with girls in the year below because her interests are still "young" i.e. she's not interested in the same things as her peers (fashion\make-up\going to Little Mix concerts or talking about boys) - yet! And this has meant that she has been rather excluded from her peer group and has lost some of her good friends. She finds it upsetting that they no longer play together or that they no longer want to do the same things and this has led to arguments as she doesn't really understand. Head has recommended we look at, DH, Benenden and CLC and we should consider them in that order.

We have visited all three, and we loved them all, but in the reverse order: We felt CLC offered an amazing academic environment within a very pastoral setting, and Benenden came a very close second - really happy girls, but CLC had the edge because of the house system and being in town. But DH worried me as I felt it might be cliquey and you'd be a bit miserable if you didn't fit in (which given her traits would be a disaster) - although on the other hand I have also heard DH is wonderful for the "late developer".

Also, she'd be entering in Y9 - so there has to be good integration - I'm worried that at DH everyone would be strongly bonded because of the term in France - would it be difficult to break into those well established friendship groups?

I think they are all academically great so I am looking for any current information about these schools from a pastoral and SEN support perspective. Which would be the best option for a child who needs a stimulating academic environment but who might also be a bit delayed in her social development? We need kind girls and a happy, friendly environment.

Really grateful for your thoughts, especially if you have DDs already at these schools or if you have experience of bright girls with delayed adolescence.

WFG

OP posts:
Luzina · 25/01/2020 10:37

I don't know anything about these schools, but will she be boarding?

Original poster
WildFlowerGarden · 25/01/2020 10:43

Yes, she already boards at her prep school. She will be a full boarder, as she is now.

OP posts:
Michaelahpurple · 25/01/2020 17:15

I have two friends with daughters at CLC and have been impressed by how two such different girls (one sporty, one much more quirky) have both found their tribe. Sorry be do them joined at year 9 and huge and successful efforts to integrate the new joiners

Original poster
WildFlowerGarden · 25/01/2020 23:24

Thanks, @Michaelapurple, that's great to hear, especially regarding the efforts to integrate the girls in Y9. I really loved CLC. Do you mind sharing what you mean by quirky?

OP posts:
Michaelahpurple · 26/01/2020 22:11

In this case not at all sporty, not girly or into pop, make up and boys. But also not madly nerdy or spectrum-y either, which my choice of adjectives could have suggested.

MollyButton · 26/01/2020 22:50

Sorry but just to ask, if she isn't happy at her Prep is there a good reason to keep her there until year 9?

Vargh · 27/01/2020 10:11

If any one have experience to help me to take right decision,which one suits best ,am Asian for my son secondary school ,Loughborough Grammer school or Nottingham high school or Birksale sheffield. We plan to move based on which one right fit.

Original poster
WildFlowerGarden · 27/01/2020 11:10

@Michaelahpurple - thanks for the explanation!

@mollybutton - sorry, reading back it does sound like I have painted a very pessimistic picture - it's not that she isn't happy there - she loves it and has many friends - the girls in her year aren't horrible to her - she just isn't as mature as they are so she doesn't enjoy the games they play - but if they are doing other things, she is happy to join in with them. Dorm life is particularly fun I gather. The problem is more that she finds it difficult to deal with changes - e.g. when they no longer want to play the things they used to - she hasn't grown out of those games and they have. I'm not sure this makes any more sense!

OP posts:
Original poster
WildFlowerGarden · 27/01/2020 11:14

@Vargh - you'll need to start a new thread to get the information you are looking for - this thread is about some particular girls schools that I am interested in - if you you look just below this message you will see a link called "start a new thread in this topic" if you click on that it will take you to a new page and you can ask your questions on there and I am sure someone will come along to help. Smile

OP posts:
Vargh · 27/01/2020 11:20

Ok thanks new to this

Original poster
WildFlowerGarden · 27/01/2020 11:36

@mollybutton - so to answer your question more clearly (I hope) the fact that she is a bit delayed in terms of maturity means that we feel she would benefit from having an extra couple of years at prep before she goes on to senior school.

OP posts:
whattodo2019 · 29/02/2020 12:50

My daughter is currently at CLC I would be very happy to talk to you about our positive experiences. My DD is LC3

nevereverfinished · 10/06/2021 00:12

Am very curious to know what you decided (if you have). My DD is currently in Y9 - had places at CLC and Benenden and last minute we threw it all into the air and chose DH because of geography. It's hard to know what is Covid-related so caveat there but we have been made to feel really misled by DH - they have changed their boarding policy so girls can be totally flexible and go out as many weekends as they want. This has left our seasoned prep school boarder floundering alone at weekends/requesting 8 hour parental round trips to collect her/take her home. I know anecdotally of other parents complaining of same. Rather wish we'd stuck with CLC.

So I'd say be very pushy about getting this information from them upfront - we feel we were actively misled as we specifically sought info about this issue as we are too far away to come weekly and feel we'd be better off with a day school! From the info we have been given over half the girls are based overseas (some won't be in that admin category for the school because they have wised up and purchased an additional house in London!!)

uk2020 · 10/06/2021 02:14

@nevereverfinished

Am very curious to know what you decided (if you have). My DD is currently in Y9 - had places at CLC and Benenden and last minute we threw it all into the air and chose DH because of geography. It's hard to know what is Covid-related so caveat there but we have been made to feel really misled by DH - they have changed their boarding policy so girls can be totally flexible and go out as many weekends as they want. This has left our seasoned prep school boarder floundering alone at weekends/requesting 8 hour parental round trips to collect her/take her home. I know anecdotally of other parents complaining of same. Rather wish we'd stuck with CLC.

So I'd say be very pushy about getting this information from them upfront - we feel we were actively misled as we specifically sought info about this issue as we are too far away to come weekly and feel we'd be better off with a day school! From the info we have been given over half the girls are based overseas (some won't be in that admin category for the school because they have wised up and purchased an additional house in London!!)

I don't think over half of DH girls are from overseas, max 20%.
nevereverfinished · 11/06/2021 19:18

I only know about my daughter's year but we were all sent lists of who was overseas (ie not coming back until summer term) and who was in the UK when the schools went back in March. It was at least double the 20%. Dig VERY hard for any info re this school - it has been fudge fudge fudge all the way.

BeaDB · 04/07/2021 07:28

Can I check if this is any better? About to sign the dotted line for DH? And we do not live anywhere near DH!

Woed · 09/03/2022 02:22

Hi , I know it’s little too late but I just read your comment on DH ,my DD going to DH next year, I’m so worried about pastoral care and if it easy to fit in for new people, my DD not very confident , she is coming from coed school , where some kids gave her hustle.Are girls busy after lessons ? Is there plenty to do ?

MrPickles73 · 09/03/2022 07:34

@WildFlowerGarden if your daughter is not the boy / music etc type you need to look at what interests she does have and find a school where other girls have similar interests? Our DD is yr 7 and goes to a mixed country prep where there is less interest in boys / clothes etc than her last town day school. The town day school, all girls, had quite a different vibe and in yr 5 some had mobile phones and we're criticising one another's fashion choices.. Friends of ours was boarding at a co-ed senior school and after a year removed their daughter as they were drinking alcohol and vaping.. they have moved her to a smaller, more outdorsey coed school where she can be a day pupil.
You need to explore the eneral vibe / interests if the school before you can choose?

uk2020 · 12/03/2022 22:54

@Woed

Hi , I know it’s little too late but I just read your comment on DH ,my DD going to DH next year, I’m so worried about pastoral care and if it easy to fit in for new people, my DD not very confident , she is coming from coed school , where some kids gave her hustle.Are girls busy after lessons ? Is there plenty to do ?
Very busy after classes. Which Year will your DD join?
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