Consequences for being bullied

[GazeboLantern]

13yo ds has a history of being bullied, and a relatively recent diagnosis of ASD. Yesterday he was targeted by 2 or 3 boys, who tormented him until he lashed out.

Should the school sanction ds in any way?

It’s really hard to say without a bit more detail OP.

IMO yes- although less so that for an unprovoked punch. They should also sanction the bullies and take action to ensure this situation never arises again.

However, I think schools have to send a really clear message that violence is never acceptable. They're preparing teenagers for the adult world, where violence in response to verbal prorogation always has consequences. Also, I think any school that ignores violence in any situation will see a rise in violence overall. These situations can also very easily turn into a fight which can become dangerous/nasty for all involved.

I think you have to separate out all the issues:
-An appropriate sanction for violence e.g. a day's internal exclusion.
-Is the school dealing with the bullying effectively (sounds like they aren't)?
-Is the school supporting your son with his needs due to ASD?

This time ds had the mildest sanction available. The Department Head said that the other boys involved had more severe sanctions. But in the past he has had more severe sanctions because his response was, in their opinion, excessive.

The school is dealing with the bullying better than ds's previous school did. This is the first incident since October half term. A major improvement.

As to dealing with the ASD...adjustments are in place, but the one thing that is lacking is the social and emotional skills development support that was promised.

I understand that schools must have zero tolerance for violence, but it is deeply frustrating that ds holds it in, does his best not to react, and the school know this, but the other kids goad and goad and goad him, little goads that most of us would shrug off, spread out over a day or two so the staff do not notice anything major, and I'm sure they know that eventually ds will flip. And it's frustrating that ds gets punished for finally reaching the end of his tether, rather than the goad being noticed and stopped ahead of time.

I know that teachers have a mullion things to keep on top of in every lesson. I hugely appreciate each and every time they have physically placed themselves between ds and his tormentors.

Little shits. Your poor DS.

Does he have an EHC Plan OP?