Anybody in Scotland

[Rocsand03]

How do you actually know when your teenager has homework set? He tells me he hasn’t, I find out later he’s had a test and didn’t do great. I want to keep on top of this but can’t find a way without phoning school every five minutes

I rely on my kids telling me and then I remind them or ask them if they've done it. They seem to be truthful about what homework they have. Does your lo note it down in a homework diary? Our school gives one out at the start of term although only one of mine uses it. Dd records homework on her phone

He point blank resides to use one. Insists nobody does and I insisted he uses it but he just won’t.

Dd uses her phone. Could you suggest that?

Well dad and I eat and had the discussion with him last night about revising and spending more time going through stuff... the whole time his face was stuck in his phone! Says he doesn’t need to revise, he knows all his work, despite having failed class tests.

Secondary is difficult - he might have homework in one subject and just the need to revise in another. They may or may not have a homework diary (they're a big investment on the part of the schools) - and even if they do, they may or may not fill them in.

Ds (now 2nd year Uni) was actually very good at doing his homework without us nagging him, so we never actually looked at his homework diary.

From the way you've described it, if you want to have a serious discussion with your ds, you're going to have to take his phone off him in order to get him to focus on what you are saying.

What year is he in?

Our local secondary (in Scotland) has a system that you can log into where the teachers put whether or not there is homework for your child and it also flags if your child hasn't completed it.

@LetUsBeElegantOrDie
Ours did have that but even the teachers were too useless to update it

Lots of schools have signed up for 'Show my Homework' where teachers put the homework online and it is delivered to the pupils' phones as a reminder. What's really great about this is that parents are able to see what homework their child has (and this is specific to their child), they can send messaged direct to the classroom teacher and see whether the child has completed the homework and, in some cases, how well they've done. We love it at our school - highly recommended if your child's school doesn't already have it.

Yeah we did but teachers never used it. They were hopeless. What chance have the kids got when they don’t even update it? We’ve another one called parent portal but can’t even get logins to work and don’t know if it’s the same idea as that or not yet

Really? That's so frustrating. It's a great tool when it works. It might be worthwhile asking what the homework policy is? E.g. Maths homework daily, English homework weekly and that night help give you an idea of what to expect?

Our school gives homework sporadically and sometimes there's a lot and sometimes none

he whole time his face was stuck in his phone!

No point in having a conversation if he is not paying attention. Also no point in a 2 against 1 lecture he'll just switch off. Remove the phone, go somewhere to eat, talk about it and listen too. Agree a plan where he doesn't get his phone until it's done each day.

What year is he in? Ds is in S4 and does 1-1.5hrs a day homework and /or study

He’s in 3rd. Husband and I disagree in how much he should do. I say an hour, he says half an hour

My ds is in 3rd year all top classes and about half the teachers send a text home when homework is given, dd was in all less academic classes and she was never given homework in S3 and S4!

Dd never really did studying outwith homework. She still managed to get 7 As for her Nat5s last year. I'm hoping she puts a bit more effort in for her highers this year (prelims start 17th January). The school has never given info about homework so I have to rely on dd/ds to tell me

Ds(15)'s homework handbook says S3-4 should do 1-1.5hrs a night of homework and/or self study, they give out very little homework so they do need to make the effort to self study/revise. I made encouraged ds to do an hour most nights in S3 and then it was 1-1.5hr in S4 depending on what else he had on. Worked out roughly an hours study per subject. It has worked well so far especially for maths and science, he is in the habit of it now, sees the benefits in class tests and will hopefully take this study ethic through to higher.

Dh if left to his own devices would probably let him away with less, but knows better than to interfere or contradict, he is seeing the results in his marks and confidence and agrees it is working! (dh barely attended school in the 80s, left with no qualifications and agrees he is lazy when it comes to learning!). If your dh isn't supportive you could agree to start with 30-40mins per main subjects (English, maths, science if taking etc) per week to begin, with a view to increase in S4?

I had to spend many hours some time with ds in S3 researching how to revise effectively for each subject, it was a bit hit and miss to begin with but we got there and he studies independently now he knows how. Buy revision guides and really show an interest in what he was doing, get involved if needed, lots of encouragement /praise. Try to do that now in preparation for the ramp up of work in S4.

If he is struggling in a certain subject and budget allows think of a tutor (one of ds's friends did maths at kip mcgrath for a few months in S3 and said it helped) to get him back on track before he falls further behind, or some of the revision guides could help you tutor him (even if it is just to sit with and support him working it out himself/let him try to explain to you what he knows and help him research the gaps - ds and I painfully worked out quadratics together with a youtube video and it has stuck as he had to work it out!!)