Rugby, Ampleforth and Charterhouse

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We are British expats in HK. Sending our our eldest to boarding school in 2021.

He doesn't get bullied at his current school but can be a bit sensitive. He has a lot of interests and loyal friends.

Has assessments coming up at the following schools so starting to really think which school to go for. Son plays rugby, plays guitar, draws but not super artsy.

Choices are Rugby, Ampleforth, Marlborough and Charterhouse.

Worried about some of the videos we have seen of Charterhouse and Marlborough (the ones uploaded by students, not official school ones).

Really like Rugby but worried our son comes across as a bit boastful (he doesn't mean to). The kids there are lovely and a very down to earth.

We really like what we have seen of Ampleforth but concerned that the safeguarding has not been sorted out. Does anyone have any insider info?

Concern with Marlborough is that some of kids seem to spend a lot of money on the high street. We are solid middle class but don't have that kind of money.

Have family all over the UK so distance not a factor.

Thank you.

Have to admit that I would hesitate to send a boy to Ampleforth these days. Not that I would think he would be molested any more, more that their chronic inability to sort out the power structure between the religious and secular side of the organisation suggests fundamental failures at every level. Also, it was once a great catholic school but now the english catholic community don’t really feel the need to send their children to catholic foundations so it really has little function now, except as a local school. Given the other schools you are looking at, I assume a catholic environment isn’t crucial for you either, so I would scrap that one. I’d it was on the list to give an easier option to get into, there are other better choices (eg cranleigh which presumably would work for you as is near charter house)

On the videos, I am afraid that that is, in my views, just a manifestation of teens plus phones. I don’t think one school will be more or less prone to that than others.

I may be out of date, but isn’t Charterhouse a soccer school? If rugby is important to him look into that. Don’t know about M on that front.

We are Catholic but decided against a boarding Catholic school for our DC because of the safeguarding issues.

I know they say these have all now been addressed, but the monastic communities still have considerable power in these boarding schools and in many cases they are made up of the same people who have been covering up abuse for the past decades.

The Vatican’s very recent pronouncements on child pornography (recognising that 18 not 14 is the cut off age) and secrecy surrounding allegations of abuse just highlight how dysfunctional their approach remains. Was it really OK for priests to watch porn involving 14 year olds until earlier this month? Was it still OK to keep allegations of abuse secret?

Pope lifts 'pontifical secret' rule in sex abuse cases www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-50824842

What about Radley?

I would rule out Ampleforth and Charterhouse immediately. Neither are ‘rugby’ schools.
Rugby is a nice well grounded school and if, as you say, your son is a little boastful, Rugby would be an ideal platform to help ‘ground’ him a little. Marlborough he will likely continue to feel entitled. Other good options would be Kings Canterbury, Uppingham or even Merchiston in Edinburgh - easy travel links and great for rugby but again very grounded with a good mix of ex-pats!

Hi everyone thanks for your replies.

DS plays rugby but he just enjoys playing with his friends in his club, he is by no means a rugby superstar. He is happy to play a bit of cricket or horseriding. He has lots of non sports interests that rugby is not really a factor.

DH and I come from Catholic families but schools with a broadly Christian ethos will do.

If anyone has any inside info on safeguarding for any of the schools please do pm me. We do want our kids to grow up a bit in the UK and boarding school is really our only option at the moment. It does seem Rugby has a sparkling clean reputation.

Merchiston Castle sounds great but it's all boys. Definitely looking for coed to make it logistically easier to coordinate with DD.

Thanks again everyone.

Rugby or Kings then. Both good air links. Both excellent pastoral care. Both co-Ed with good, broad curriculum and excellent results.

Headmaster of Rugby is RC iirc, but religion didn’t seem to be more than the usual public school cultural Christianity.

The ISI (Independent Schools' Inspectorate) is a good starting point for looking at all these schools. ISI Ampleforth College for example gives links to their recent reports.

Incidentally I would concur with previous posters in having concerns about Ampleforth as they failed an inspection due to safeguarding failures in 2018, failed again in the follow-up short visit in 2018, and failed yet again, by the looks of it on several points, in 2019.

The IICSA report published in October 2019 concluded about Ampleforth: "It is clear to us from all the evidence we have heard during this Inquiry that several
systemic child protection and safeguarding challenges remain at Ampleforth to this day."

Charterhouse is not yet fully Coed - girls will be able to enter Yr9 in September 2020.

It appears to us from Mumsnet and reading other source that Rugby has great pastoral care and produces nice kids.
Marlborough claims to be gentle but we are worried about the difference in how they are perceived in this forum.
Which leads me to another question - DD is only 8. She likes fencing and drama but nothing to indicate that she is exceptional. Do children with above average academics (not super talented and need to be pushed a bit) do okay in Rugby or are they likely to be overlooked? Seems there are quite a few exceptional musicians and athletes. Is this a school for self starters? Worried how this may affect her.

Take a look at Canford, Wellington and Sedbergh. All are great schools that fit what you're looking for but don't have that super-rich feel. Among the ones you've mentioned it seems Rugby is the best fit.

Rugby sounds like it may be a good choice for your DC. From what a I hear the pastoral care is good. I really liked it when looking for my DD for 6th form but she rejected it because new 6th form girls joined a separate house. We also rejected Wellington as it is effectively weekly boarding and my DD did not want to be left in an empty house on Saturday nights.

In the end she went to Marlborough and loved it. I also wasn’t sure having also read reviews in here and seen similar videos but we liked it so much more when we visited. It is fun, slightly quirky and academically strong. It isn’t for everyone and suits an independent, robust child who wants to join in with everything the school offers. Pastorally they expect you to look after yourself but will catch you if you fall.

The High St is also a huge advantage at Marlborough - the DC can grab a coffee or buy extra snacks in Waitrose. There isn’t otherwise a lot of money spent apart from in the charity shops where the DC seem to buy lots of vintage clothes. Some DC are very wealthy but no one is impressed by those who flaunt their money.

Forgot say, if you wanted a Catholic school, have you considered Worth? I only know 1 family with DC there but they have been very happy with the school. It is smaller and still very dominated by boys but may be another option to consider.

Dancingdreamer, thanks. Never thought of Worth before. Will take a look and ask the kids whether they want to squeeze in another tour.

We liked Marlborough. Both girls houses were lovely, but we didn't like one of the houses - the HM seemed a bit off to us and we suspect he may be quite demanding. We will see whether we can get the first choice House if accepted, the HM did seem very nurturing and the boys seemed happy and relaxed.

Did you actually read about the abuse that happened at Ampleforth? It was absolutely appalling. It completely baffles me why any parent would pay for their child to go there, and I work at a catholic school. Have you actually researched properly at all if you didn’t know there were ongoing safeguarding concerns?

Which house did you not like at Marlborough (PM if you prefer)? I can get you some more info as we still have lots of contact with the school through friends with DC there and siblings of my DD’s friends so can give you my thoughts.

What about Stonyhurst ?

This is the latest ISI report on Ampleforth
www.ampleforth.org.uk/college/sites/default/files/downloads/ampleforth_college_pmv_advice_note_v5_2019-06-19.pdf
And it suggests in May 2019 Ampleforth was still not meeting the safeguarding requirements.
If you read the independent safeguarding report its very shocking. In fact it is a surprise that anyone would choose to send their child there.

Apart from anything else, Ampleforth is a sod to get to. It is miles from York, despite what the website claims, and is stuck in a valley surrounded by fields with nothing to do. My DB went there and it is not a healthy environment.

My own son goes to a different school. Be careful about pushing your son into a rugby focussed school - the injuries are frightening. I was once watching the U14 D team play against Rugby School and had my heart in my mouth as the ambulance was driven onto the pitch to deal with one poor lad. It took 20 minutes to get the neck brace onto him.

That is my personal fear. School boy A team rugby is brutal.

As a matter of interest, why are you rejecting Harrow in HK?

Hi all,

Thanks for all your responses. We hope you all had a good new year and festive break.

We have met some really lovely Old Amplefordians and that was why we were enquiring about it. We can see from this thread that the overall opinion is overwhelmingly negative. We were hoping to get someone who knows what the current head (who came in from Wellington in July, after the latest report) has been doing exactly to tackle the issues head on.

Harrow in HK is not an option as we may move on to another country, especially with the protests. We also want the kids to be back in the UK to acclimatise to it. I have been an expat kid myself (husband is a Brit; I am not) and I want them to feel rooted somewhere.

As for Stonyhurst, we will have a look later this year if we need to.

And we won't push our son into a rugby school as he really only plays it casually.

Thanks again for all your responses, all of it has been very helpful. We think we will just focus on the other schools on our list for now.

Thank you.

My Dh went to Ampleforth and loved it. He visits every year and says that this year they seem to have really got the safeguarding sorted, the new head (ex Wellington) really seems to be really 'kicking arse' to get it sorted and current parents seem to be much happier with him in charge. He has stated that this is his priority for the future and the undoubted arrogance that they showed previously seems to have been vanquished.

They really still don’t have the safeguarding sorted at all. The open to the public tea room and shop are in the middle of the school, and Are open whilst the kids are there.
They have residential retreats for the public, where again unscreened adults can easily mix with the school students.
They might finally be sorting out getting staff DBS checked before they start work 🤔 but the other parts above make true safeguarding impossible and there appears to be no will at all in the school/ abbey to address that.

When my DH was up there last month they weren’t allowed into the school without being escorted by a member of staff. The public areas are segregated from the school premises.