Confidence wise

[Teengirls]

Hi all,
DD is attending an independent school and we have just received end of term report - Y7. She is doing well at all subjects based on homework, tests etc. However all teachers commented that she is a quieter and needs to come out of her shell to participate actively in class discussion as she always has so many good things to share. This also happened when she was at a state primary school. She has no problem if she is picked to answer the question from teachers. She is a member of debating club, junior choirs, school orchestra, swimming squad etc. and she is doing all fine.
What else can we help?
Thanks in millions.
TG

As long as she is doing fine with making friends, attending group activities, and is happy about herself, I think it is not a big concern. My DS1 sometimes got this comments from his secondary teachers, we just discussed with him about the comments, and said it would be great if he can contribute more in the lessons. I think it become less a problem gradually that he moved up in the school.

There is one thing I think may be helped is working with younger children. DS1 did some voluntary work to help primary school children in a science club and also later to assist teaching other students at his school's home work club. These sorts of experience should help.

I absolutely hate it when teachers make comment like that. If a kid is naturally quiet then it is the teachers’ job to ask the question at the right time to get their opinion. Not everyone is a loud, confident person. Quite often the ones who talk the loudest are the ones who have very little to add.

It has only been one term into senior school. It sounds she is doing absolutely fine. Just encourage her to be herself and in the long term, she will do well in her own way.

I agree the posters above. By year 7 there is a division between ‘naturally’ confident kids and more reserved ones due to the ‘path travelled’ by this point. I would be relaxed about this and think about securing the long term foundations of confidence with the next break in the road in mind which will come at 14-15. These foundations would include doing well academically but crucially also in other activities such as music, sport and drama, ideally both in and out of school. This helps build the sense of inner worth over time and turn it into confidence 2-3 years down the line.

So e people are just naturally quiet. Sounds like your dd is doing fine, doing lots of activities, making friends, working hard.

A good teacher will recognise she is more reserved and draw answers from her.

My daughter had the same comments right from primary to year 9 in secondary school. She has naturally blossomed in year 10 and will initiate and participate in class debates. Completely changed child. Sometimes they need to grow into their own skin. Don’t worry if everything else is on track. They do change at 14-15.