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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

How are all the children about to start secondary school feeling? Nerves? Excited? And how are all you Mums?!

65 replies

MummyPenguin · 20/08/2007 09:08

My DD is starting grammar school in September. I can't believe how quickly it's coming around!! The holidays have gone so fast! She's a bit nervous, which is understandable. I'm more so though! Just the thought of her going on the school bus and not coming to school with me and DS's and me not picking her up with them. Gulp. Will seem so strange at first.

All uniform and shoes etc purchased? Are you all ready for the big move?

OP posts:

Nightynight · 26/08/2007 09:06

Imchangingmyname... I would go to the police if the boys parents are too scarey. But would try the parents first if there is any hope at all.

I once spoke to the mother of a boy who was bullying dd, and she thanked me for not making a problem in teh school.

def dont let the situation rest - it sounds awful for your dd.

moyasmum · 26/08/2007 09:12

This is bullying and you can talk to the school in advance as it is a matter of definate concern to her schooling. Expect their input, they will have an anti bully policy, expect them to use it.
ok they may not do everything, but its much better than ignoring the problem, you may not be the only one, and anyway if hes the git you say he'll push them too far as well and get himself excluded.
Are they in the same class, how is she getting to/from school? Work out the logistics for her so she can trust in her safety during the day.Build up her confidence
(self defence classes,talking with other girls about personal safty in a positive setting). I dont expect her to fight him,but if she has greater self estime she can see him in his proper light, and he wont see her so much as the victim he hopes she is.
If anything happens to your property and you have told authorties about the threats then they "should"be in a better place to prosecute. Good Luck.

Nightynight · 26/08/2007 09:14

my dd is going to secondary school in September. All she knows, is the building where she is going. She has no equipment list, so we can't buy any books. She has been chucked in the dustbin, aka the hauptschule, from which the only exit is special school, or for the successful, a hauptschule certificate at 16 years old, which qualifies you to work in a supermarket. Her problem? she scored low in the tests last year, not sure why because she knew the work. Whenever I checked her homework, I could never catch any concrete reason for her bad marks. I think she is just too immature to produce what they expect in a test situation.
dd is now totally unmotivated, says she hates books and school, and wishes she could stay at home. She has several times commented uneasily on not knowing her book list or her teacher for next year.

Just more crap from the Bavarian school system.

Imchangingmynametodad · 26/08/2007 16:10

Thanks for your suggestions. I have talked to dd about the route to school. She does have to pass the end of his road to meet her friend. However there are lots of other kids going this way and I'm not sure that he will say anything in front of anybody else. The thought of going to the police is quite scary as I am ashamed to say that I am frightened of reprisals. I will definitely talk to the school if he does approach her at school and if he makes problems on the way to school.

hls · 26/08/2007 16:34

I don't think you should be afraid of reprisals. Isn't this why the country has so many hooligans- because adults won't stand up to cheeky little so and so's?

Is the boy ELEVEN??!! He needs to be made to realise that adults will not stand for bullying- otherwise what kind of message does it send out to him if he gets away wth his threats?

I would still be proactive and tell the school before there are any issues, as they can keep aneye on things and also intervene with his parents in a way that keeps you out of it.

Imchangingmynametodad · 26/08/2007 17:03

No the boy is about 13. I do know what you are saying and I have always stood up for myself in the past both at work and in general life, but you hear some awful things nowadays and this kid seems to be out of control. I genuinely don't know what he is capable of doing.

hls · 26/08/2007 21:11

Well, maybe you have to "call his bluff" - if it's a case of his damaging your car, horrible as that would be, at least he'd be caught and punished- and he would be taken as a serious threat.

If you really are as worried as you seem, then I def. think you should talk to the police- he has actually made a threat to damage your property.

I can understand how you are worried, but you are allowing him to control things. It will only make him worse and other people might be on the receiving end of his violence in future.

DumbledoresGirl · 28/08/2007 09:32

Can I join in here? My oldest son is starting secondary next week and I would like to have a regular thread to turn to if any problems arise.

I was just going to start a thread myself asking teachers what is the usual plan for Year 7s in the first week back, so I have some idea what to expect. I see on another thread that they do not start lessons the first day there for instance.

I have all of ds1's uniform except for his football socks. They were hard to get hold of in his size to begin with, then I found some last week and bought them but 2 days later, we could not find them! I think they must have fallen out of my bag on the way home. So now I am fretting that ds1 will get off to a bad start by not having all the right equipment! I know, I am worrying too much about it!

potoftea · 29/08/2007 09:20

I've just come back from dropping my ds 13 to his first day in secondary ( they start at age 12 or 13 here in Ireland).
He was slightly nervous, I was fine, he got out of the car, and I burst into tears! Kept picturing him as a baby, first day at primary school, etc. and couldn't stop the tears.
Quiet surprised with myself because he is not the best behaved child , and most times I feel if I could afford it, I'd send him to boarding school.

DumbledoresGirl · 29/08/2007 09:35

Hope he comes home smiling potoftea. My son, who starts next week, has been very excited about the prospect, but last night he went all quiet and introspective and then shed a tear or two - turns out he is worried after all.

onlyWotz · 29/08/2007 15:10

My dd1 went to a friens Birthday Pary/ fancy dress disco with some of her mates last night. Some of the girls that were there will be going back to thier second year in scondary in Sep so (some nearly 13). That was scary. Seeing them in fancy dress and not in uniform, some of them looked so grown up..eekkkk.....my little dd has just turned 11 and look so young.

FWIW she is getting nervous too.

saffy202 · 29/08/2007 16:17

DS1(13)starts high school next week and has been in complete denial about it! He hates change and he is going to the one in the next town, however 3 of his friends are also going, so he won't be alone. They are going to travel there and back together.

He went to the induction day and they were told they get down to work straight after the third lesson - so not much of a settling down period.

TheDullWitch · 30/08/2007 11:11

My ds started yesterday, wobbled off on his bike wearing his too-big blazer. Sob. A baby face in that grown up uniform. Today is his first proper day. So much to remember, quite daunting, all the exercise books in different colours and all at that weird games kit.

BellaLasagne · 03/09/2007 07:50

Can I join in?

My DS starts secondary this week too. I think he's looking forward to it as he spent a week at their summer school (brilliant idea).

Good luck to all those (Dcs and Mums) who have the wobbles this week!

P.S. Nighty....didn't want to feel no-one had read your post. Sympathise hugely but as I'm not familiar with the Bavarian system don't feel I can offer much advice. Can you explain why you're in Bavaria, are you German, is this for the long term etc etc

Blandmum · 03/09/2007 07:52

Please put labels on their clothes and particularly their shoes!

You'd be amazed how many of them mix up their shoes, even at the age of 11

(MartianBishop ex year 7 tutor!)

Original poster

MummyPenguin · 03/09/2007 15:35

Imchangingmynametodad, I really sympathise with you and your DD. It's a nightmare when your DC are going on to a secondary school with kids that you don't want them to be with. This is one of the reasons DH and I are really happy that our DD is going to grammar school and not the comp with the majority of her year, as there are some kids that we'll be glad to see the back of. However, our situation is not nearly so serious as yours. That sounds like a total nightmare, I hope you manage to find a solution. You must be really worried about your DD. You poor things.

For all of you whose DC have already started secondary, I hope all's going well, and for those about to start (my DD is tomorrow) Good Luck Guys!! x x

Good idea from whoever it was to keep this thread running for all us nervous year 7 Mums. It will be a good sounding board for anny niggles or problems.

OP posts:

walrus · 04/09/2007 21:16

My dd went off to school today and I burst into tears the minute she had turned the corner. She actually didn't seem that happy when she came in but I think that was because I bombarded her with questions the minute she came through the door. Tomorrow I will know to give her time to work her mind through everything before I start the inquisition.

snorkle · 04/09/2007 22:02

Did a kit check this morning & neither of them had named any shoes - thanks MB!
First day is tomorrow, but dd had a 2 hour 'orientation' this afternoon. I was v. proud collecting her as she'd made friends with a couple of new girls already.

BellaLasagne · 05/09/2007 12:37

I didn't have time to say much to DS this morning as the (contract) bus he was due to get didn't stop so we had to flag it down and run up the road after it!

Hopefully the driver will remember me this afternoon and stop in the same place!

BellaLasagne · 08/09/2007 09:31

How are everyone's DCs doing?

My DS is getting on fine, but is shattered. He's still asleep now at 9.30.

It's the sheer quantity of information that both he and I are getting that is unexpected. The first night I had 8 letters, at least 2 asking for money for various things, and this is as well as several before the end of last term and during the holidays. Hopefully it'll settle down soon.

Hope you're all OK, BL

suedonim · 08/09/2007 15:28

Dd has had two orientation days this week and loved it. I'm not so happy with the apparent chaos - I don't even know the name of the Head of the school.

And I'll be in school on Monday to check if the state of the loos is as bad as dd says. No loo paper, no soap and no water, but just a skanky old towel, should one manage to wash one's hands. Luckily, dd carries hand rub with her but that's hardly the point.

BellaLasagne · 08/09/2007 17:59

Yeuch, that's horrid.

You could get the Health and Safety Executive in for that!

cat64 · 08/09/2007 18:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

saffy202 · 08/09/2007 18:33

Well I think ds1 is enjoying it afterall
He has been picked for the school football team, joined the badmington club and is considering table tennis! Had a couple of bits of homework already.
He also told me there was a girl who kept sending her friends over to ask him out but he said no!!

suedonim · 09/09/2007 21:29

Bella, we live in Nigeria, the concept of H&S doesn't exist here!

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