Y7 DD and weight

[Foxesandsquirrels]

I have a Y7 DD who used to be very slim up until age 8. She did lots of sport and at age 8 her brother died and we kind of let go of all the sports and things went down hill in terms of diet. We pretty much let her have whatever she wanted. This led to a lot of weight gain but mainly by her stomach. Since age 10 she has got back into sport, mainly street dance. At one point her belly got huge, she looked pregnant. It is still very big and she says it doesn't hurt or anything otherwise we'd test for gluten etc.

At the moment she does: 1hr theatre on Tuesday for which she walks up a huge hill to after school and takes 30 mins, 1hr of basketball on Wednesday, 2,5 hrs of dance on Thursday (same walk up the hill as Tuesday) and 2 hrs of PE as normal. Her school takes PE very seriously so she always complains they have to run loads. She is sore every week. This has been the routine for a year now and she is slowly losing weight but it doesn't seem to be proportionate to now much she does. She now weighs 56kg and is 148cm tall. When they did her height and weight in Y6 (this Jan) she was nearly obese and weighed more than now but was about 6cm shorter.

Reason I'm posting this is she's never really cared about it till now. She's joined a new school with no one from primary and her new friends are all slim and sporty. Her friends in primary were 2 tiny girls but she didn't seem to care. She's starting to really hate her stomach and is becoming obsessed with comparing her body. It is so hard because she is doing so much exercise, eating healthily and it's still not working. We have never told her to lose weight, but to make healthier choices and to get fitter. We have had bad eating disorders in my family so I have always been very wary about this. It is breaking my heart a little that she is feeling this way though, as weirdly it is just her belly that's so big. We went jeans shopping and she just sobbed in the fitting rooms because everything that fit around her waist was huge on her legs. Her legs are very toned from all the dancing but her upper body is complete opposite, she can't even do a plank.

Does anyone have any experience of this? I'm sure if she keeps up a good diet and all this exercise it'll even out as she grows but in the meantime I feel I'm walking on egg shells and don't want to say anything that will make it worse. For context, she is 11 (12 in April) and not showing any signs of developing yet.

That's a great idea. It is very difficult in our area to get a GP appointment though but I think I will try in 6 months time if things are still not improving. She has grown neary 8cm since January and 2 shoe sizes so she's growing both ways. Her thyroid needs to be checked anyway as most females in our family have issues with it. Your DR sounds lovely.

I'm not sure exactly what age Y7 is, but I have a 12.5yo girl in S1 who is 60kg at approx. 5ft 1in, which is overweight. In stark contrast to your daughter, she doesn't seem to realise it and calls herself skinny like her brother and sister (who are both very skinny). She is quite slim & tall all over but has a large tummy) never complains about any pain).

DH and I are overweight (I'm morbidly obese which I am working on) and we are very worried about her, but trying to tread very carefully as we both clearly have our own food issues.

DD is quite greedy, she doesn't eat a wide variety of foods, but what she does eat is in big portions i.e. a whole pizza etc. She doesn't have a varied diet so eats the same sandwich day after day for example. She's also now in control of her diet to an extent as she started at high school in August so chooses her own lunches and some snacks.

She swims regularly with a non competitive swim club but doesn't do a lot else due to a recurring injury in her leg. She has sat out of PE for most of this term (necessary). We are going to start family walks though, if this rain will ever stop!

We have really realised her weight is rapidly rising this week so have decided to implement a family healthy eating strategy going forwards so change white bread to wholemeal, cut out the crisps, homemade pizza, wholemeal pasta, less treats/McDs. And maybe ask her to take packed lunch a couple of days a week. We will monitor how things are going, by eye - I don't want to regularly stand her on scales as she is so unaware of any issues, the only reason she was weighed in the first place was because she presented at A&E (something unrelated but they weighed her on admission).

I know this isn't helpful as we are dealing with different daughters, but its helped me to write this out and also to know I'm not alone. I can't decide if its better or worse that they realise - better because they might change their diet & exercise more but worse as of course you desperately don't want them to be unhappy.

Good luck

@Foxesandsquirrels, I'm so sorry. I omitted above to say how desperately sorry I am about the death of your son.

It’s a tricky area when teens (or pre teens) and weight is concerned. DS age 15 has become worried about his weight recently, he was also super skinny and could eat anything he liked (frequently an entire pasta bake meant for 4 he can eat himself) but in the last year he’s gradually put weight on and got a little bit of a belly. He has cut down on food, he’s really reduced his snack intake and is eating smaller portions. He’s always been picky but he actually asked for veg this week and now loves those birds eye veg packs. He does lots of exercise through football so food reduction was the only way. Might be worth looking at her evening meals, you have control over those whereas you don’t her lunches. Maybe a few swaps will be enough like with my son. Maybe a smaller plate? Or swap some potatoes for more veg etc. If you could lose a few pounds without concern (I.e as long as you’re not under weight) might be worth the whole family doing some healthy eating. Slimming world meals are suitable for the whole family. Good luck, it’s a tricky one. My DD is the same age and at the moment is like her brother was and can eat anything she likes. She does have a much smaller appetite though but I’m expecting she will change at some point too as their metabolism changes as they age