VG state secondary or VG public school?

[Anotherskoolquestion]

After years of aggro re: schools, we have the luxury of this choice.

DC in second year of a very, very good state secondary, one of those ones people say 'wow' when you tell them where, as it's so sought after, and very happy there, doing well in everything, prefect etc.

They have also been offered a place at one of the best boarding schools in the country with a bursary. But it would be a real financial struggle. We also have another child who we would have to do the same for.

One friend says to me never move a happy child. DC is so happy where they are. And we would have to seriously cut back financially, even with a bursary, to afford the boarding school. I mean, we would have a real problem I think.

But DC is quite shy and I wonder if this school might help them become more confident and give them that private school polish that you just do get at an establishment like this one. I don't mean that in a snobby way, more in a being confident helps you achieve more in life way.

I think I know the answer. I think we leave DC where they are and count our blessings. But I wanted to put it out there to see if anyone else had been in the same boat, or if anyone had any words of wisdom.

Sorry to be vague but don't want to out myself to a couple of people who are on here.

Thank you

Is it possible for your child to have another visit to the school before you finalise the decision? I'm thinking that many of the visits could have been 2 years ago and at that age a reminder of the reality might help you all be confident in your choice. Agree that finding out what possibility there would be of changing later for 6th form / making a note of the timescales for that would give you options for later on as well.

Ultimately I think you are right that your child needs to want to go to the school; and at 12/13 they are mostly old enough to have a reasonable opinion on it. (10/11, from our experience, not necessarily so!)

Leave the child where they are- never move a happy child- particularly a shy happy child. Particualarly from day to boarding.

Consider youth theatre. I think a good youth theatre is the best confidence builder going.

Thanks all. Really interesting and helpful replies, and to the PP who said I had already decided, I really hadn't. I was leaning towards staying put but wasn't sure.

I have sought many opinions in the past week, but MN has given me many more, and I think the fact it's anonymous helps in terms of giving objective advice.

@BertrandRussell thank you - that crystallises it for me. We are on the waiting list for a drama group like that - I might chase them up to see where we've got to.

Interesting to hear from the PP who HAS gone for the boarding school. So glad it was great for you. I am sure it would be great for DC too, but thinking about the maths, and our other DC, I think it would still be too much of a financial struggle.

If DC weren't happy at the current school we would move heaven and earth to go for the boarding one. But given that they love it, and it's an excellent school that costs nothing, that makes a huge difference.

Really appreciate all the helpful advice on this thread - thank you all so much.

Don't send your family into financial difficulties for the sake of a posher school. Your son is happy where he is and it's a good school.

I know a woman, an only child, who was sent to private school. She resents her parents for the fact that she never had nice clothes or holidays, because the money went on school. In other words, your child might not even be grateful for the sacrifices. It's no fun being poor, especially if it could have been avoided.