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Original poster

Compulsory rugby

25 replies

ibizacalling · 15/10/2019 14:55

Any mumsnetters out there with non-rugby playing DS’s?? Anyone had a DS who hated rugby but still went to a school where it’s compulsory and got on ok??

We are in the process of choosing selective secondary school for 11plus exams in Jan and many of the schools in our area (Surrey) have rugby as a compulsory sport in either autumn or spring terms.

Problem is our DS has never played and hates the idea of it. His sporting talents are elsewhere. I’m trying to gauge how much of his school life if could take up? For eg if he gets put in the E or F teams (as I should imagine he would) then how many fixtures is he likely to have to play?

Is it normally tag during year 7?

We are really narrowing our choice if we exclude a school due to rugby so would welcome to benefit of experience.

OP posts:
CanICelebrate · 15/10/2019 14:56

Mine go to selective independent schools and contact rugby is compulsory (and on Saturdays) from year 7.

CanICelebrate · 15/10/2019 14:57

One of mine was in the D team and had fewer fixtures but still had training

Br1ll1ant · 15/10/2019 15:02

My DS doesn’t enjoy rugby. His private selective has it for a term but you can choose to play tag instead of contact and Saturdays is only if you want to and are in a team. It all depends on the school.

Gingercat1223 · 15/10/2019 17:36

No rugby at KGS and at Hampton you either play football or rugby, not both.

yetanotherdiagnosis · 15/10/2019 17:40

You need to ask each school. Some will have compulsory contact rugby, others will have a tag option. Most of the kids from state school will never have played rugby so will be in the same boat.

Cuddlysnowleopard · 15/10/2019 18:17

DS2 is at a rugby state school, and hates rugby. Reality is he did half a term, set in the second from bottom group, played tag for the rest of the winter.

This year, even they don't play football, he's actually playing football in games - they just want the boys to get some exercise and fresh air.

LIZS · 15/10/2019 19:06

Ds entered at year 9 and never had to play rugby seriously, it was basic drills for a year or so then he had other options such as badminton or swimming.

ZoomZoomBoom · 15/10/2019 19:10

My DS at a school which prides itself on its rugby success. He hated rugby when he started but the sports staff are so good that now, in Y9, he grudgingly admits to almost enjoying it. We chose the school for its academic qualities. The rugby thing wouldn't put me off.

FionaCorkesWardrobebyKamizole · 15/10/2019 19:31

DS is playing contact in Yr4. Luckily he's in the F team so only has one match a term, and can fanny away rugby lessons running away from the ball as most of the E/F team appear to be doing.

FiveHoursSleep · 15/10/2019 20:57

My DS is in Y7 at a partially selective school where they play rugby for games and have the odd compulsory tournament.
He has ASD/ADHD and Dyspraxia and hates it. Mostly they let him ref as he's so useless and often ends up in tears.
He likes the school though and now quite likes watching rugby on TV.
It's been a learning experience.

FiveHoursSleep · 15/10/2019 20:58

DS's school plays full contact but he quite enjoys tackling people, just not being tacked!

Mumski45 · 15/10/2019 22:15

I have 2 DS at a state grammar that take their rugby quite seriously. However whilst all boys play in games lessons it's only the A and B teams that get lots of matches. The C and D teams get some games in yr 7 but not after that. There are also E and F teams and a group called the marauders who are taught the basics but no one is pushed to do it seriously if they don't want to. I definitely would not exclude a school on the basis that Rugby is compulsory.

Titsywoo · 15/10/2019 22:21

DS is in year 8 and they do one term a year of contact rugby. DS hates it but goes to his lessons and just hangs back all the time. Never tackles. Seems to work for him and if they tried to force him I'd step in and say he won't be doing the contact bit.

GU24Mum · 16/10/2019 08:14

My DS is at a selective school in Surrey (perhaps one of the ones you're looking at?!). Rugby is compulsory but apparently at the start of the year boys are allowed to opt out - to tag I guess? Mine hasn't opted out but isn't very good so is only likely to have one or two matches a term. From Jan it's a different sport so although you can't completely get away from rugby at the school, it can be a pretty low key thing.

WhyAmIPayingFees · 17/10/2019 09:31

We ruled out schools completely if they had compulsory rugby. It is unacceptable. DS ended up at a school with a very strong rugby tradition but also many other options for all 3 terms.

Bapa · 17/10/2019 11:21

My child has dyspraxia - I am very concerned about him being forced to play contact rugby. In this day and age I am not sure this game should be compulsory

Tableclothing · 17/10/2019 11:26

If he's never played it, how does he know he hates it?

Original poster
ibizacalling · 17/10/2019 14:37

Many thanks for all the replies - it's really appreciated. I was looking for the benefit of experience so as to understand actually how impactful a term of compulsory rugby is on school life if you're in the lower teams, and if it can be endured in a low key way. So you've helped make the picture clearer. And after talking with the schools and DS we figure it's not too much of a dealbreaker. Thanks!

Special thanks to @ FionaCorkesWardrobebyKamizole - exactly the explanation that I was hoping for! And made me laugh!

@Titsywoo - ditto for the approach I'm sure DS will take!

@ZoomZoomBoom - thanks! You just never know eh!

@Bapa - sorry to hear you have concerns too. I did find that speaking to the schools in question helped me understand what the reality would be i.e. lots of other non-rugby playing boys all mucking in together to have a go, doing drills etc, and for only a minimal amount of time - 1 term.

@Tableclothing - I did say in my original post that he hates the idea of it and really has no desire to try it. It's a contact sport and it simply isn't for every boy. I have indeed said to him he may discover a hidden passion for it (unlikely!) but otherwise he can 'fanny' around.

@Mumski45 - thanks, yes we've decided it's not a dealbreaker after all but (for other reasons I don't need to go into here) we had to ensure that it wasn't going to, in reality, negatively impact or overshadow his school life.

Thanks all!

OP posts:
hoodiemum · 17/10/2019 22:28

In our experience, the bottom teams hardly play any matches. They do have to train 3 or 4 times a week years 7-9 (can give up completely after that), but it's only the stupid ones like my DS who make tackles and get properly stuck in. If you don't want any contact, you just run away from the ball, from what I can tell.

Original poster
ibizacalling · 18/10/2019 13:23

Thank you @hoodiemum Smile

OP posts:
LoveGrowsWhere · 19/10/2019 07:42

DS is a run away from the ball by looking like he's finding a good space kind of player but is fit from sports he enjoys. He is still selected in yr10 for B team to make up numbers. There is no opt out if selected.

Starlilly88 · 21/10/2019 00:14

My DS has just started at a Surrey private school and is just learning the basics in rugby as he's never done it before. He's unlikely to be in any matches and only has to do it once a week in games. He quite likes it though!

Original poster
ibizacalling · 21/10/2019 09:31

Many thanks @Starlilly88 and @LoveGrowsWhere. Appreciate the info!

OP posts:
AnotherNewt · 21/10/2019 09:42

Schools do it differently, so how your DS will actually fare will depend on which school you pick

Dulwich (frequent recent winners of the national schools cup in rugby, often though if as a big rugby school) has compulsory games for year 7 boys, autumn = rugby, spring = football or hockey, summer = cricket. If selected for a team, then they have to do a bit more training and attend Saturday fixtures, but as not all boys are selected for a team at all (I think they go to G?) it's still an honour. And as about a third of the year will never play a fixture, it really, really does not matter

From year 8 onwards, boys choose their on sports from a pretty extensive menu, and if they never want to play rugby again (or any other team sport, that), that's absolutely fine.

Original poster
ibizacalling · 03/11/2019 14:22

Thx v much @AnotherNewt ! Much appreciated. Makes a lot of sense Smile

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