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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Fights in school, how often?

39 replies

Helenj1977 · 14/10/2019 21:07

My dd has just started secondary school. There has been a fight every other day if not more.

It's a great school academically and looks great from the outside.

Is this normal these days?? I send my children to school thinking their safe. I knew the occasional fight will happen but this is ridiculous. The same children are put in isolation for the day then they're doing it again.

OP posts:
UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 14/10/2019 21:12

Not normal at all Shock

MazDazzle · 14/10/2019 21:15

Definitely not normal.

However, sometimes we go though ‘spates’ where they’re very common, but then there’s not another one for years.

IMO those who get their phones out and egg people on should be punished as well.

Inlovewitharagorn · 14/10/2019 21:16

I just checked with my children. 6 years into secondary school and neither of them have witnessed a physical fight or are aware of them having happened.

Original poster
Helenj1977 · 14/10/2019 21:17

Thank you both. I'm sure it's not normal but wanted to hear from other areas /parents before I speak to someone. Its really worrying knowing my daughters there.

OP posts:
Cuddlysnowleopard · 14/10/2019 21:22

Not normal at DS1's school.

They won't tolerate any form of physical aggression - DS's friend has a day's isolation in Year 7 because he put his hands on a boy's chest as if he was going to push him, because the boy said an abusive comment to another friend.

They drum it into them from day 1, and it just doesn't happen. Another local secondary has almost daily fights, same catchment, same primary feeders, just different approach from the school.

clary · 14/10/2019 22:05

I taught in a fairly mixed intake secondary for seven years, and behaviour had deteriorated over the last two years, but I can recall maybe one fight in that time, and a couple of occasions where a student was hit by another.

So no, what you describe is not normal.

LoyaltyBonus · 14/10/2019 22:08

No, not at all normal in the fairly average secondaries around here. In fact, last year the kind of "bundle" that I remember as an almost daily occurrence at my school, made the local newspaper.

Even play fighting is banned

Elbowedout · 15/10/2019 01:23

Physical fights are sufficiently rare at my children's school that they actually merit talking about at the dinner table. Normally I just get "fine " or "pretty average" if I ask how school was, but a fight is definitely considered newsworthy.
That said, the beginning of a new year can be a bit unsettled. I know there are always a few arguments about who sits where on the school bus my children get but by half term it is usually all settled.
Does your DD feel upset or threatened by the fighting? If so, it might be worth a quiet word with her form teacher or head of year. At my children's school they have a years 7 and 12 parents' evening fairly early on in the year. It isn't a full one where you see all the subject teachers, but just an opportunity for parents of new starters who have any concerns to have a chat. Does your school do anything similar? It might be worth asking, and if not, make an individual appointment if it is bothering her a lot.

Theovertoad · 15/10/2019 06:57

Dc both went through a poorly performing school with a difficult intake (serves an estate with lots of problems) . Youngest has just finished there.
Kids kicking off and having a meltdown? - very common
Fights ? -Both dc said they only saw one in their entire 5 years

LolaSmiles · 15/10/2019 07:03

Not normal in most schools.
More normal in some schools than others (often in schools where it's common to punch walls when annoyed, verbal abuse is the way students have seen adults deal with emotions, parents are the types to say "if anyone starts on you then smack'em")

Having said that, the very occasional minor scuffle (all talk and a little bit of shoving with low commitment from either party) usually gets spoken of like a fight for at least 24 hours, which always amuses me because they've never seen a proper fight so this is high drama.

SnugglySnerd · 15/10/2019 07:07

Unusual at the school I teach at. Maybe 2 a year. Although sometimes the excitement of one fight will cause an outbreak of scuffles usually among younger students who are trying to look cool/hard!

Billsbill · 15/10/2019 07:08

Recently moved DD out of an 'outstanding' school where fights were a daily occurrence and some were vicious. Not the only issue there but it sets the seen. New school she hasn't seen any physical violence at all

BellaBattenburg · 15/10/2019 07:09

My DCs' secondary is a pretty average city school. I'd say there's a fight once or twice a term tops. It's boys or girls who have a history of arguing/ falling out etc with each other, not random attacks, so I still feel my DCs are 'safe'. They are usually broken up quickly and the children involved dealt with fairly. The SENCo/ nurse runs out to the field with a first aid box and wheelchair to bring in any casualties.

Anothernotherone · 15/10/2019 07:14

I've got two children at secondary school (1400 children in the school) - the eldest has been there just over 4 years. She's mentioned witnessing one scuffle, not really a fight as it was something which lasted seconds - an altercation I suppose, but which caused a stir and had one child off school for a few days.

No, it's not normal.

There were more physical altercations/ scraps/ low level physical bullying at primary actually, though nothing that resulted in injuries.

MrPickles73 · 15/10/2019 07:19

My friend teaches at a pretty rough school and from what he says they are not unheard of. Supervising lunchtime is pretty stressful...

LolaSmiles · 15/10/2019 07:31

Bella
That's a good point. Even at the school I worked at where fights was more common, it was almost exclusively between students who had reputations for fighting, who'd wind each other up and point score for top dog position. It was all about ego and drama between specific students, not random attacks on others.

RedskyLastNight · 15/10/2019 07:48

"Proper" fights are apparently about once a month (so some of these they only know about by hearsay so ...). There are verbal fights or minor scuffles most days though - depends what your DC means by "fight" I suppose. I suspect size of school must make a difference though - this is in a big school.

Original poster
Helenj1977 · 15/10/2019 07:48

Thanks all. I didn't think this was normal. The school is 'good' according to Ofsted and we were really impressed at the open day so I'm pretty shocked.

Dd isn't bothered at all. I am though. I want to think my children are safe at school.

OP posts:
Theresnobslikeshowbs · 15/10/2019 09:57

Ds is year 10, he was involved in a bit of ‘pushing’ a few weeks into year 7, because he had a go at a boy for calling this other boy names as he was a red head and wore glasses. So Ds took offence to the name calling. Head of head phoned me and said she wasn’t at all concerned, because he was sticking up and trying to prevent bullying although he’d gone about it in the wrong way. So we laid the law down when he came home, how disappointed in his actions we were, but could understand it was coming from the right place etc. And the boys are now friends, and we have not had an incident since.

We actually spoke several weeks ago about ‘fights’ in school, as one had happened in another school, was filmed and sent around. Ds said apart from his pushing incident he’s never seen one in school. He did break up some year 7’s before last Christmas- but again it was some shouting, with one child crying, and he and a friend took the year 7 to the year 7 head of year, as he was afraid to go to class, and they didn’t want to leave him alone.

But that’s it, never any punches etc have happened. They are a 6th form high school too.

Theresnobslikeshowbs · 15/10/2019 09:59

The SENCo/ nurse runs out to the field with a first aid box and wheelchair to bring in any casualties

Wtf??? I’m sorry but this has made me laugh so much!!

mytinyfiredancers · 15/10/2019 10:17

That SENCO/Nurse comment made me laugh. Reminds me of our secondary school, we had a 'Matron' who was about 4 and a half foot tall, quite advanced years (it seemed so to a young person) and who everyone was scared of. Woe betide if you were having a scuffle and she came bombing over to split it up. One screech from her of 'break it up, NOW!' sent even the year eleven boys sprawling Grin

PandaTurtle · 15/10/2019 10:20

Mine are at an outstanding rural comprehensive and the children often talking of fighting, DD said it was daily. DS said in his year it was a traveller girl and think it was same in DDs year. Vast majority of the children are lovely and very gentle. It's very hard though as the one in DS's year is now just getting no education at all and rumours the girls can be made to marry at 12. It's very difficult for the school and I would prefer she was in a school but school has to protect other kids too.

SquirrelsInJune · 15/10/2019 10:53

DD is in Yr 9 at the local comp.

There have been a couple of fights since she started there but these are usually Yr 7 boys trying to look tough in front of the other Yr 7s.

The school comes down on them like a ton of bricks though. DD told me once how the teachers who broke up a fight had then rounded up anyone who had appeared to be cheering them on.

I don't think I've heard of any fights amongst the older students.

Hoppinggreen · 15/10/2019 10:57

Dd is in Y10, she’s never seen a fight at her school but a lot of her friends go to a different local school and she tells me that there are regularly fight videos posted online - this is a school regarded as good that people are desperate to get their dc into

Comefromaway · 15/10/2019 11:05

Ds has been involved in a couple.

One was on his way home from school. Another boy attacked him (ds has had problems with him and was being a bit mouthy and the otehr lad threw him to the floor and started trying to kick him but he's not very clever and chose hometime right outside the local primary school to do it so residents intervened). Ds made a calculated decision not to fight back at all as he reckoned there were so many adults around he was quite safe really.

The second time ds punched a boy. This lad had been bullying some of the girls and one of them was in tears and ds had been sticking up for them but he's a bit of a coward (as bullies often are) so waited until he had a large group of friends then cornered ds so he couldn;t escape and came towards him threateningly (lots of witnesses). Ds threw his drink over him and threw a punch in order to escape.

Both boys were sent to different areas to calm down and had to spend a day in isolation but secretly I think a lot of people (including the girl's mum) were quite pleased someone had stood up to the bully.

Ds has told me of a few other fights he's heard about or seen but he mostly spends his break times and after school in the music room rehearsing so is out of it most of the time.

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