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Secondary education

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Challenging 15 year old / GCSEs - please help!

3 replies

whatnextboris · 14/10/2019 15:39

I am hoping some of you experienced Mumsnetters can help as our challenges aren't new or unique!

Our 15 year son is proving impossible at the moment. He is a bright boy who has always been pretty diligent about his school work but has changed over the past year and he now acts like he really doesn't care anymore. The problem became more apparent when he started getting into gaming, becoming obsessed with playing his xBox and if not playing it, watching videos of others playing on his iPad. We limit xBox to just weekend evenings but he is still obsessed and will watch gaming videos on his iPad at every opportunity every day (so a bigger problem than access to the console itself). Unfortunately the school issues the iPad and 99% of his homework is done on it so we are powerless to take it away. He will pretend to be working but he is really watching rubbish. I can't sit over him all the time checking - the self-discipline has to come from him. He is in complete denial about his school work and keeps saying it is fine and he is on top of it when we know from school that he is not.

His behaviour has become more and more aggressive and it's impossible to have a proper rational conversation. We have tried all sorts of things in terms of rewards, punishments, incentives etc. etc. but nothing works. It feels like we are dealing with a drug addict (which of course we know screens are an addiction) where all he cares about is a screen and he flies into a rage so easily.

I am just reaching out to anyone who had had a difficult 15 year old boy in GCSE year and perhaps has found something that works. We understand his hormones are probably raging and we understand it's not unusual to dislike his parents at this age but we don't want to see him throw his GCSEs away and the way he is going he will.

OP posts:
sleepismysuperpower1 · 14/10/2019 15:43

is he watching it on youtube? if so, you can block it from his ipad (a quick google shows how). you can also block specific websites by doing this. if you take away the distractions then he doesnt have a choice but to get on with the work x

whatnextboris · 14/10/2019 16:56

Thanks but unfortunately blocking websites has limited impact. Plus for GCSE they need to be able to launch YouTube. There are so many distractions and ways to get around things. At 15 we have to lean heavily on self-discipline but its non-existent at the moment.

OP posts:
physicskate · 14/10/2019 22:59

What does he say about why he does it? Does he see it as self-destructive? What does he hope to achieve by gaming instead of doing what he knows he should be doing? Is there a way to ask for printed homework for awhile until he gains some self-control? Is he aware his grades are at risk? What does he want to do after GCSEs and how does what he's currently doing help him get there.

Help him set some big goals and break them down into smaller goals. However, at the end of the day, to a certain extent, you can lead a horse to water...

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