Should I respond or ignore this letter?

[itsgettingweird]

Ds came home yesterday annoyed a teacher called him a liar.

For context he has asd and this is a trigger for anxiety in him.

Basically they had a homework (to revise and produce revision materials) due earlier on in week. Ds did this and has never ever not done homework his entire school life!
On the day it said to show teacher in class he was out of class all day doing a gcse exam component in a different subject.

He's been in the homework subject 3 other times this week. He was never asked to show it so (rightly or wrongly) assumed as he'd missed that lesson he wouldn't be asked. Thursday evening he filed the notes with the rest of his revision stuff.

Friday teacher suddenly asked to see it in lesson. Ds explained and said I'll bring it to Monday's lesson to show you. Teacher said he had no proof ds had done it. Due to asd he cannot grasp that teacher means as of Friday and it's possible he'll do it this weekend to hand in iyswim?
So I've had him anxious he'll get into trouble.

Today I received a letter from school basically lecturing me on importance of revision stuff, that ds failed to complete a task set and they'd appreciate my support in chatting to him. Clearly the teacher has decided ds is lying despite them a) knowing he's never missed homework and b) knowing he doesn't (can't!) lie due to asd.

Ds has an EHCP and 1:1 in English who scribes for him which I think is relevant.

So should I ignore knowing it's a load of bollocks or try and engage with subject team reminding them that despite the fact ds did and does do homework the tasks are really suitable anyway as writing revision notes isn't productive for a child who can barely write due to the fact writing is the only focus.

For contact ds has all the revision books etc and I annotate these for him and highlight relevant parts and we discuss the questions - he just then copies some of that onto flash cards to hand in as requested.

You could reply and say you've explained to your ds that if he's not in a lesson to hand in homework he needs to either hand it in the next lesson (even if the teacher doesn't specifically ask) or take it to the teacher's office to hand in, depending on which the teacher prefers.
It doesn't sound like the teacher specifically called your son a liar. Just said he had no proof your son had done it as he hadn't handed it or brought it with him when he was asked for it.

He was in the lesson P1 the following day and had it. Then following 2 days.
It's not homework to be handed in - teacher just wants to see that they've made themselves revision notes.
Same lesson again Friday P2 and teacher asks for it.

Ds (and I) accept he didn't have it so no proof but teacher should have also either looked at it next lesson when he had it to hand in or at least told students he'd check another day.

What I'm wondering is whether to just ignore and get ds to present it Monday lesson and take the books with notes etc or respond but whilst I'm at it point out ds only does it as a tick boxing exercise "I've done my homework" because it's not appropriate to him and his needs and he revises an alternative way. (He actually spends longer than expected as he does the revision and then spends extra time copying out onto flash cards because that's what they are told to do).

The thing I'm wondering is if I respond and point out they aren't actually setting appropriate homework anyway is there a risk they'll think I'm 'that' parent?

I have an excellent relationship with the school and he's a generally well supported student on an EHCP.
Ds is usually described as a model student and I'm not use to getting these types of letters.

First one and it's not even factual 🤷‍♀️

No, i dont think you'd be that parent if you explained what you've said as it would help them understand his SEN

I don't think you should ignore it. I think it's really important that you explain to school that the flash card revision technique is of no use to your ds. It shouldn't be a 'one size fits all' situation. It's a complete waste of time and energy to do flash cards which ultimately are of no use. I would try and get your ds excused from having to perform this fruitless task.

Everyone has their own method of revising, surely? My ds's school do ask them to produce proof of revision, but by whichever method the student has decided is a good fit for them e.g mind maps, flash cards, completed past papers etc.
Your ds should be able to take in the annotated books with a note from you confirming revision has been done.

I think there's a middle ground, as Martine said. You can acknowledge that he did it, whilst accepting that he didn't have it available for viewing.

DD2 (who has l also has ASD) did a French homework, then we got an email saying 'students are saying they've done it, but I haven't got it (electronically), or they're saying they did it but forgot it. I have reset the homework, please make sure they do it tonight.

I emailed to say 'I will make sure DD does it (again) tonight, but I need to make sure that you know that if DD says she did it, she did do it (and I know this because I was sat next to her when she did it).

I got an email back saying that the teacher had only meant to send it to a few in the class, but accidentally sent it to everyone.

Lougle you know who I am from a previous name! Sn boards and ds attends Ms on sight of your DC1 school!

I think the way to go is to simply outline the 3 points.

A) ds did it. He's always done every homework and I'm sure they have revordnkf this.
B) ok, after 4 days he removed from bag but ds cannot work out that if it says "will check Monday" that if he's not there it may be any other day after that (due to asd). To him Monday is Monday.
C) whilst we are on subject could they agree that mind maps and revision cards that ds needs to write aren't helpful for him and annotating the (£ssssss) worth of revision guides I've bought him for this reason is an acceptable alternative.

The not realising he'd done homework in when he had, I'd ignore (I'm amazed you've got so far up the school without this happening - seems to happen to my DC all the time).

The homework not suitable for his SEN is worth contacting the teacher about - it sounds to me as though creating alternative revision resources as you are doing should be good enough.

Does he find typing easier than writing? You could use something like Quizlet to create flashcards?

There's a few issues.

Firstly if homework isn't available to be seen in class then I wouldn't know either way if a child has done it or not. It's as simple as that. I always say to my students, if it's not here I don't know either way. Its not accusing them of lying.

If a student is absent when homework is due then it is reasonable for the teacher to check on another day. I would be having a conversation with your son that his homework stays in his books until checked / ticked off by the teacher.

Revision guides to hand in hand with other strategies. Just annotating revision guides isn't an effective strategy. It looks like lots of work and take up lots of time, but better revision strategies include more recall and manipulating the information and applying information. There's a lot to be said for students not always knowing or liking the most effective ways to revise (for example, I had to tell a couple of students that copying the revision guide out onto meticulously colour codes mindmaps in millions of colours isn't effective revision, they'd have been better off reading and reducing the information from the guide into the mindmap). If a child has additional needs then that makes it even more important to train them in useful and effective strategies and this is something worth asking for some more input on.

Lola my son has a scribe because he can't write recalled information. It's not a choice to dislike it. It's fact.

I've already said I get that he shouldn't have removed it but teacher said Monday, didn't check tues - thurs when he has it. He is autistic. He doesn't realise that Monday can mean any day, and teacher knows he's never failed to complete homework and cannot deal with non literal language.
I have no proof to him means 'I don't believe you'. A trigger point for him.

He was the first to memorise 20 quotes they were asked to learn. He also has the 20 flash cards they were asked to produce with the quotes - all of which I'd written!

There's been some excellent advice here about asking if he can produce his revision an alternative way (I've always made him do it their way because it's homework not a negation!).

But making a child with the spelling age of a 6yo; higher level language disorder; amatrophy of the hand muscles who uses a scribe fit a box because someone's decided its the best method isn't really going to work because it's easier!

Flashcards can be made online. Lots of my students use Quizlet and there's recall games in it where they can play match up between pieces of information.

That's what I'm saying, there's a conversation to be had about what would be effective revision strategies for him. I've had some students dictaphone their revision for example.

Hello Ahhh, yes. We really need to meet each other.

I'd write a really empathetic email, I think. Of course, with his ASD, DS didn't realise that x meant y, so we'll have to work on this....'

I would have photographed the notes the minute I received the letter and emailed it to the school. Evidence that your son had done it. Maybe not evidence that it was done when told to but certainly enough to show that he wasn't waiting until the last minute.
I would still do this as soon as you can with the comment that you also saw this prior to the day it was asked for.

However, I suspect there were a few who didn't do it and you have just got the same letter sent to a number of parents.

If it was just your son I suspect it may have been treated differently as they are aware of how he is BUT if there are a few he can't be seen to be getting special treatment

That's genius about photos! Wish I'd thought of it at 9.30am when I received the letter. I've already emailed this afternoon so a bit late now.

I think what's bothering me is it's an official letter. An email stating from his teacher or 1:1 ds claims that ...... or even "can you confirm what homework you've seen ds do this week" would have been at least considering he's telling the truth.

Instead the HOD has gone to the effort to write a letter specifically addressed to me and stating ds name lecturing me on the importance of revision and can I chat to him about it. So it's very obvious despite all evidence pointing to ds telling the truth they've decided to disregard it and assume neither he nor I have bothered.
Luckily I'd already discussed with his tutor about the subject this week and she'd contacted me with his 1:1 name (she's new this year and ds is crap at names!) as I'd asked for it to arrange us working together to support him through his exam as he's at risk of not getting a 4 in language (due to send not lack of effort).

Hopefully the HOD will speak to tutor and realise she's way off the mark and no more official lectures will arrive via Royal Mail (unless less actually warranted!) in future.

Such a shame all this.
Lola is absolutely right that revision needs to be active not passive, but what he does must be judged by how practical and effective it is for him with his special needs. "one size fits all" revision does not work, for all students. Concrete, sequential, abstract, random, visual, oral, etc, etc. Most are a mixture. More so for a child with special needs.So his teacher needs to work out with his SEN dept what is most useful for him. You sound like a wonderfully supportive parent, the sort we all would like for all our students. Thus the HOD should appreciate this and trust you when you say he did it and explain why he didn't have it on the random day the teacher decided to ask for it. To feel you should have photgraphed it to prove it, is so sad. You are not a child. The teacher cannot "prove" he didn't do it anymore than you and child can "prove" it got done at the required time. If he had made a file on the computer or something then the document properties would prove when it was made, a screen shot of which would "prove" stuff, but this is all water under the bridge and only useful for next time.

Sounds as if teacher needs to read and act on child's statement and if he is not doing you have a real solid base for complaint.
This may, indirectly all be a good thing if it brings you, child and teacher to a closer understanding of his needs and what works for him, but it is not a nice way to initiate it and I feel for you.
All the best.

This thread had me thinking about things I've suggested for previous students with SEND needs.

You may have tried some and please don't think it's a 'teach granny to suck eggs' suggestion, but have you explored:

• Quizlet - has matching activities and printable quizzes you can do once you've made the topics

• pre made flash cards for spoken revision - one of my students bought these for all the set texts www.cgpbooks.co.uk/secondary-books/gcse/english/english-lit/etfi41-new-grade-9-1-gcse-english-an-inspector and home quizzed them on the content or they gave answers verbally

• Watching the Mr Bruff videos on YouTube. There's some for language and literature

• having answer frames emailed to home and when he does plans then he can type them into the document (home either printed and put in book or we had a Google drive folder that they shared with me so each week they'd copy the template, do the work online and I could see it)

• online revision websites such as Seneca learning are really good for topics and activities so it's active revision but not handwriting

• You could also ask for electronic versions of any revision packs the department makes so your son can type his answers.

• 50% of his English language grade is for writing (if he is aqa then it's 40 marks on each paper) so the biggest gains can be made here. Does he know how to use at least 6 pieces of punctuation accurately/how to structure his writing/different non fiction texts types? If not, could you explore having a tutor to work on writing skills 1-1 with him? I say that as working with a scribe in an exam is a very specific skill and he night benefit from some personalised guidance on that that's hard to replicate in class.

Often students like the strategies they're familiar with but what they like doesn't always translate to what's effective.

If you want to DM me at any point then you're welcome to. I know how hard it is for some students to get the 4.

Lola any support is appreciated! Thanks for that list it's fantastic!

So far what ds and I do is print off very simple mind maps from google and he adds his own words/ quotes etc. He needs the visual to prompt him. We answer and annotate the quick questions in his snap revision books and also the revision guides. This helps like mind,apps because he has a question and answer scenario.

I print some of the stuff from twinkl for him to fill in. For Macbeth he's done a plot summary for each act.

We practice the quotes and he watches and uses bbc bite size.

What he doesn't do is produce extra written revision cards.

What I do have to contend with though is the fact he's so literal. When doing revision today on Macbeth it asked "3 quotes that describe the witches"
Ds actually asked me if that meant what they were wearing 🤦‍♀️

DD2 was taught inference literally. So, for example, she got greater depth in her reading SATS, because she was taught that she didn't need to know if the boy felt cold, she could skim the text and pick out the word jumper, and then think 'jumper is worn when you are cold'.

So your DS could be taught that describe x = write/talk about appearance, behaviour, etc.

DD2 was struggling with a homework because it said to give examples of a particular castle type. She didn't know if she had given the right example, etc. When I told her teacher, she looked at DD2 and said "DD2, if I ask for an example, I don't care where you find it, or what it's of. As long as it is x type, I'll be happy." It's that clarity that is needed.

On the witches front (or other literature ideas), could you use directions like:

1. List 3 words to describe NAME and their character
2. List 3 quotations that show the audience NAME's personality
3. List 3 key events for NAME

Then to access the themes (needed to be able to twist knowledge to meet the question):

1. One key theme is THEME. Explain how NAME and NAME'S ACTIONS link to this theme

Your son is really blessed to have such a supportive and involved mum.

With a similar issue in my primary school regarding ASD students understanding and taking things literally i.e. 'Show me your homework on Monday', I would follow this with a social story until the pupil could grasp what that might mean.

After I stopped laughing I'd thought about it I was able to explain a description isn't necessarily a physical characteristic.

We then described each other's personality using 3 words. What we were wearing. What we looked like.
Then gave examples. So I explained ds was generous. And I demonstrated a quote of you always share everything even if it means you only get 1 yourself.

He then realised any quote that gave us an insight into the witches which meant we knew more about them as people was an answer.

Thank god we have until June 😂

Thanks everyone for saying I'm supportive. Wish school had considered that before the snotty letter in the post!

But one good thing to come from it is more fabulous ideas for revision which ultimately will only benefit ds further!

Well we've moved on hopefully!

Ds took his revision into school to show HOD this morning and they were dismissive and asked him why he'd done that and said it's none of their business (?) He did say she'd sent a letter so made it her business (his directness doesn't always do him any favours but he's right!)

Then had a lovely email from his actual subject teacher apologising for misunderstanding.

So I've responded thanks for recognising it was a misunderstanding and explains how - due to his autism - it came about. Also admitted I was annoyed by letter as it was so far off the mark. Noted that I've realised he's excellent at remembering quotes and facts but not actually relating them to questions so I'd work on that with him. Then suggested after the mocks and we have a better idea of weaknesses we meet and they give me a guide on what to work on with him and help him at home.

I also said please feel free to contact me direct in future if they have any queries (rather than send a letter!) because I can assure them I'm doing everything in my power to help him pass the subject!

I'm glad it got sorted OP! I feel for him. I don't have ASD so I can't imagine how he must feel - but I totally empathise with the fear of getting in trouble when you are a model student! Especially when you know you really did do the thing they are accusing you of not doing. Hopefully it won't happen again