Help! Secondary school drama

[HazelE123]

Stepson lives with OH. Shared care court order which states he is in OH's care from school on certain days and OH will facilitate his transport. Mum has the free school transport so OH is collecting Stepson from school. Except it isn't happening. Mum has told stepson to get the bus to her house, go inside, change out of uniform and wait outside for OH to pick him up. Which means OH can't take him to school next morning and he's having to get up ridiculously early, go back to his Mum's to get dressed and get the bus again.

We've been advised it's a breach of the court order. Last time stepson wasn't sure what to do - go with Dad or get on the bus because Mum told him to.

But it sounds so ridiculous. We would probably agree to collecting from Mum's house instead of school if he came here in uniform as before so its like he still actually lives here!

But she has implemented this new routine and stepson is getting stressed.

Any suggestions?

Just to add - we have school uniform but he needs his bag and stuff for school next morning. Stepson is right in the middle.

Tell stepson to bring tomorrows books and uniform with him when dh collects him maybe? Do you have a track record of not returning uniform?

Why can't your OH take him to school, I'm not following that bit.

Sounds a right nightmare!

Is there PE kit involved etc? Is a there a reason why she’s implemented these new rules?

What year is dss in?

Year 7 - he's only just started secondary school. That is a good point saying just tell him to come in uniform but he can't because he's having to do what his Mum tells him!

Sorry it was a bit garbled. One or two nights a week OH collects him from school, to come home here in uniform with his stuff, and to take him back to school next morning. But his Mum has told him to get the bus to her house instead (so OH is standing at school like a lemon and ends up having to drive to Mum's house). So stepson gets the bus to his Mum's house and instead of then coming with OH he goes in his Mum's house, changes out of uniform, leaves his stuff there and then comes with OH. Then says his Mum says he has to be back at her house at 7.30am to get ready for school. Which is ridiculous.

OH had a chat with him and he said he'd come with OH from school but next time OH went to the school stepson was undecided what to do and OH didn't want him to be anxious about not doing what Mum said so he said ok take the bus and I'll meet you at Mum's. But then stepson has to go into his Mum's and change out of uniform.

It's completely disrupted his normal routine and our home life. OH has been picking him up from school for years at old school.

Point being stepson feels he has to do what he is told by his Mum.

I guess we'll have to enforce the court order as it's stressing us out and stressing stepson out.

No track record :-) Uniform used to go back religiously. We have spare sets and occasionally they got swapped round if something needs washing but uniform is always back when it should be. No communication whatsoever from her other than solicitors letters. She says not her fault if son gets the bus instead of going with OH but why go in and take his uniform off? It's getting very stressful as Stepson saying he doesn't want his breakfast that early and leave here at 7.15am. If OH drove him to school he's here an extra hour as it's only a 20 minute drive.

God I hate parents who are so keen to inconvenience the other parent that they totally ignore the impact their bad behaviour has on their kids 😐 Most judges here (Aus) would award costs against the parent being difficult if this ended up back in Court, not sure if the same would apply for you.

Thank you. Yes we'll have to go back to court over it. Worrying thing is think it might be to force us to go to court to try and get the order varied.
Stepson is fine but not happy about the mornings and in the middle so not much we can do unless a court does something.