Letter from the head teacher--important or not?

[Kicap]

Hi all--looking for some advice about applying for admission to (competitive) independent schools for my DD, now finishing Year 4 in a state school. I see that the applications require a recommendation letter from the head teacher, as well as the exam, and interview at the next stage.

Our problem is that my husband is a parent governor and has crossed swords with the new head teacher at governing board meetings. The new head is a difficult person (all the teachers went out on strike because of bullying by him against particular members of staff).

I'm concerned that this may have repercussions for the letter, and am wondering whether this is so important that we should consider moving DD to a new school for Years 5 and 6. She is happy and settled, and I wouldn't like to move her otherwise (although the mass exodus of teachers with the new head in charge may have a bearing on her continued happiness at the school...).

Any advice much appreciated!

You could contact the admissions officers for the schools you are applying to and explain that there have been issues between your DH as a governor and the Head, so no guarantee that the letter will be favourable. You could ask if they would accept a letter form Head of Year or Head of Learning or Yr6 form teacher (who will know her best) instead.

I would explore the option above before taking the extreme step of moving an otherwise happy and settled child.

Also, this HT should not discriminate against a child regardless of what his relationship is with parents and other staff. Are you able to talk to him too?

We sent our DC to an independent school from a state primary whose Head was fiercely opposed to private education. We let the new school know that this might result in a delayed and very basic reference and they were fine about it.

The headteacher of our former state primary refused to write letters of recommendation/references for any pupils moving to private school. (Quite possibly because so many pupils stayed for a year or two and then went down the private route!) Our private school wasn't too bothered about it but this was for entry into Y1 and Y3, so possibly a slightly different situation.

Thank you all, this is really helpful. I'm glad to hear that the sensible thing is to keep her in the school!

I've written to the admissions contact of one of the secondary schools to ask.

Yes, the head shouldn't discriminate against her, but given that the allegations against him are to do with his volatility, I'm not massively confident. I may speak to the head directly, but probably will leave that until my daughter gets to year 6. Hopefully things will have settled down by then!

We were in exactly the same position as growlingbear. Dreadful Head and she said she would provide a reference and never did. DD was accepted anyway because she was interviewed and did a sleepover where they obviously assessed her. Some schools do assessment days too.

I think if he won’t do it, he’s unprofessional and biased. I would keep DD in the school but I would advise your DH to rein in a bit at the GB meetings. As a Governor there are ways of dealing with difficult Heads and it’s not having run ins with them! He’s got time to work smart! I suggest he does. Tip: do the Heads appraisal and set the objectives!

I wouldn't worry about the letter - they are more important if you are coming from a private school as I believe the HM may mention if you are up to date on your fees or not

I'd agree that it's not a big deal. Lots of primary Heads write very brief and fairly meaningless references because they either disagree with private education or because the culture is to avoid making very definite comments which could be challenged -- so they tend towards the bland.

The Head is unlikely to be dishonest about the answers to basic questions such as NC levels a child is at, or where they sit within their year group or if they have any pastoral, behavioural or safeguarding concerns. Most Qs like this will be tick box or one word answers. There may well be a space for a more detailed reference but independent schools are used to state schools not filling that in or being very brief.

How about you (not DH) emailing the current Head and politely mentioning that you are considering applying to X school and they would require a reference and rhat you are checking what the protocol for this is. Be friendly, positive about your child's experience at the current school and not demanding but appreciative of the time and effort spent providing a reference. Often, if you set a positive tone and are upfront about these things, it creates a more positive relationship moving forward with school applications. What primary Heads don't like is reference requests out of the blue (especially for children leaving mid year) because really it is quite rude to not give warning that a request will come.

I'd think you have nothing to worry about and you will get a simple, basic reference but it won't be a key determinant if whether an offer is received. Schools often use them just to flag any serious issues.

If you really feel the need to comment to the secondary in advance of the reference being requested, I'd avoid saying your DH has fallen out with the Head - doesn't give the right impression of you guys to be honest. Instead, just comment briefly that you've been aware in the past that the references have sometimes been brief or not forthcoming and you hope that won't be a big hindrance for your DDs application.

@Kicap - are you in London? I’ve been told that often state school applicants are asked to provide the end of yr 5 report if the reference is very minimal or not submitted at all. We’re about to go through the process for my yr 5 dd so I’m not speaking from experience but from advice given by parent applying in recent year. Actually, one registrar has told us that we almost certainly will he asked for the report.

We also have a big problem with our Head and have complained directly and to the Governing Body. So we are concerned about the reference too if the animosity is taken out on our dd, but knowing our head the reference will be so basic, if it is written at all.

The schools send out a tick list and the thing they are looking for is achievement level, academic potential, support from home and attendance. More of a priority is how the students do on entrance day testing and any other taster/entrance day and ensuring you can pay. Any SEN and I would expect to see a reference to that from primary. I really wouldn't worry about it too much.

Yes, we're in London.

DH's term as parent governer is coming to an end anyway, and I don't think he'll stand again! And I shall certainly phrase the run-ins in the most tactful way possible...

Good idea re end of year report--we've just got the end of Y4 one, and it's pretty comprehensive.

Also at a London state primary and did the 11+ this year. Dd didn’t have a reference as her school has a policy not to do them, instead they will send a copy of the Y5 report. She got offers (including a scholarship offer) so it doesn’t seem to have been a problem. I did put on the forms that her school didn’t do references, just to make it clear it wasn’t anything to do with her personally!

You don’t need to mention that your DH has been a governor to anyone. Let alone any disagreements. Not to any school and why raise it again outside of a GB meeting which you were not part of. It’s not acceptable that your DH has spoken about it to you if it wasn’t minuted so do keep quiet and expect the Head to do the same. It’s not relevant, so ignore it.

Don't worry, the disagreements are fully minuted! And the dispute the teachers are engaged in is a matter of public record!

The independent schools just want something to basically say the child isn’t a horrid minx! They understand that state primary schools often refuse to engage with this type of thing and will take that into account. Whereas the reference from an independent school will be much more comprehensive.

I would perhaps just send them some detail on extra-curricular interests and hobbies etc.... and say that you don’t think the school write full references.