My son hated his first transition day at secondary

[Jambalaya76]

He is the only boy from his primary to go to this school. His best mates from primary are all going to a school out of the area. His first transition day was today and he hated it. He said he hardly spoke all day, was alone, missed his mates and he has cried tonight in bed.
I've given him reassurance that this will get better but my heart is breaking for him. He is a normal happy go lucky kid and I've never seen him this upset.

Has anyone any helpful advice for me please?

How did he get on today? Any better?

DCs made friends through form, through friends of friends and after school or lunch time clubs.

Today was a better day. Hopefully tomorrow will be even better. I'll keep you posted

Do schools have multiple transition days now? I thought it was just one day. Hope he settles in OK OP, it's a worrying time when our children move on to high school.

Totally depends on the school. Round here it varies from 1 day to a whole week.

I thought of your DS today as I taught the year 6 class. There was a little boy who was crying and scared as he didn't like lunchtimes or break with the big ones about. I talked to him about how he could go to the library and all the clubs he could do. At the end of the lesson he thanked me for making him feel better.

Glad your DS had a better day

I phoned the school yesterday and explained the situation. The receptionist I spoke to was lovely and said that she would get the teacher to ring me. She never rang, so I rang back and the receptionist said she would definitely ring me at the end of the day. No call. Fortunately when my son came home he has had a good day.

I've rang the x book again this morning to say I am disappointed that no one rang and would still like a call back today

School back not x book

I'd email them instead tbh. Less chance of it being overlooked.

Yes email the relevant teacher.

Secondary schools usually have pastoral support teams who'll be the best contacts to help keep an eye on him

Definitely email if your call hasn't been returned.

I know its frustrating for you, but the head of year may have had lots of other things to deal with and not calling you back was an oversight/low priority compared to other issues. The head of year may also have their own year group still in school to deal with as well.

It's really positive your son had a better day. Hopefully he will settle well in September and make lots of friends.

We used to stress to parents and children, that the group they were in on induction day, was not their tutor group. Every year there were phone calls about it, with parents saying their child was not with friends etc. You wouldn’t believe how complex sorting out tutor groups is incidentally.

I’d bet that your child won’t be the only one coming from a primary on his own. We used to have children from lots of different schools. All the ones who came knowing no one, we would put together and it was always amazing how quickly they became friendly with one
another.

My DS has high functioning ASD and struggles with friendships !! He has had an amazing year ...done bullying which came from old school friends ...but now has no contact with anyone from his old school ...all are new friends !

Thanks for all your advice people. He ended up having a good week and is excited to start in September

Wonderful to hear.

So pleased!

Jambalaya, this post brought back memories of my eldest's transition day at secondary school. She too was the only girl from her primary who was joining, and I will never forget how sad and miserable she was when I collected her that day. As soon as we closed the front door on arriving home, her shoulders heaved with giant unrelenting sobs. She missed her friends, there was nobody there she clicked with.. they had nothing in common. She hated it and would rather stay at home than spend another day there.
By the end of the week, this was all forgotten, and she spent 7 gloriously happy years there. I'm glad to see your son is happier already, it's a tough transition sometimes, but they do get through it.
Good luck :)

Poor thing X Friendship groups change quite quickly at this age and stage. My son was delighted to be going to the same school as his friends... but then they had a falling out and he's spent the year avoiding them.

I hope your lad finds some amazing new friends - the good thing about secondary is there's usually so many kids that each can find their 'tribe'.

Hope the school can help him settle. My son was also a summer baby and I don't think everyone appreciates what a big ask it is for these kids to adjust, when their older peers suddenly seem so much more mature.