would you send your child to a comp where none of their friends are going?

[WildAngel]

DD is in year 5 and we've started think about where to send her for secondary school. The feeder school is a SuperSchool and we moved DS out of there within the first 6 months of it opening due to poor teaching and not being happy with how they dealt with issues.
We'd like to send her to the same school he's in now (he'll have finished when she starts)as we feel its a better school. However, ALL of her friends are going to the superschool. She had a meltdown last night about losing her friends, she's an over-thinker and this could worry her for some time.
Would you send her to the school of our choice and hope she makes friends and settles in? or would you let her go with her friends and hope the problems were "teething" issues?
Thanks for views xx

Yes, I would send my DD to a school where she knows no one. In fact, this is exactly what happened for DD1 and it's been the making of her (I stand by this even though, nearing the end of Y9 there is a bit of a hiccup).

Almost all the girls in her primary school went to a secondary school in the opposite direction from DD's but because she didn't know anyone at her school, she was able to do her own thing and not worry about what others were expecting her to do. As an over-thinker and people-pleaser, this has made a big difference to her perception of herself and she's been able to try out new things without worrying e.g. that X might not want to and is expecting DD to meet her at lunchtime etc. She is in occasional contact with primary school peers and the overriding message from them is that they are all in new friendship groups and have very little to do with one another these days.

My advice would be to think about what it is that you want from a secondary school, look at both schools (as well as other local schools) and see which you feel is the best fit for your child. Ask your DD's opinion but make it clear that ultimately, it will be what it will be... and focus on discussing how she can stay in touch with primary friends, ways of broadening her existing social circle etc. because they are things she can actually influence, unlike school allocation.

Yes. The friendship groups change a lot once they get to secondary anyway. Plus, you don't actually know where here current friends will end up. I would definitely apply for the best school for my dc, that I had a chance of getting in to. I didn't take any notice of where anyone else might, or might not be going.

You need to go and look round superschool again. It may have changed and your dd is a different child - you may find yourself thinking that it will suit her.

Dd also needs to look around all possible schools. After seeing them, she may actually prefer the same school as you?

Then speak about it with dd and listen go her views.

My dd did go to a different school to all of her friends because she chose to (fortunately, we agreed which school would suit her best!).

We sent our kids to senior schools where no
Immediate friends where going. They made new friends and kept in touch with some of the old ones. We see friendships evolving anyway so did not think of it as a decision factor.