Help! DD disquialified from year 10 mocks

[ilikechickentacos]

Name change as usually about my ds.
DD finished her year 10 mocks around last week and was disqualified from 3 different ones (luckily school use multiple exam boards per subject so she wants disqualified from extra) all for basically the same reason. I’ve emailed but no reply what do I do? I’m not happy with her one bit

[birmanbaby]

I may be a lone voice here but I don’t think the jumping off the wall twice is that unusual or indicative of SEN.

I can absolutely see how in her head the broken leg the first time was a one off fluke and probably wouldn’t happen a second time if she jumped again. Expecting kids with brains which are still growing to get things the first time is way too much of an ask. Equally with the road crossing. I see teens run across the road because they can’t be bothered to wait for the lights/use the zebra crossing everyday on my way to work. In their heads they are invincible.

Seeking a diagnosis of anxiety on the basis of not liking silence....equally she could just be a loud vivacious person who doesn’t like silence. I work in a office with adults who feel the need to fill every quiet moment with gossip or tapping their pens on the table/humming/fiddling with stuff.

Isn’t it just the weird and wonderful differences between us all?

[TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross]

Lots of thoughtful advice on this thread. If you don't think she has any form of SEN, however, OP, then you need to make peace with the fact that your DD has very little common sense, very little self-control, seems extremely immature and is not bright or self-aware enough to learn from the consequences of her actions - and has no justification for any of this. Without a diagnosis, there is no chance that she will be able to sit her exams anywhere other than in the main exam hall with all the other students, so you need to prepare yourself for the fact that she may well get disqualified from some of her actual GCSEs too. She will then need to consider what alternative routes she can take to complete her education.

[LolaSmiles]

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross
Though to be fair, I can't think of any student who was silly in mocks doing the same thing in the real exam.

It's a bit like we tell them to revise properly for them, but many decide they're 'just mocks'.

They treat the real thing very differently in my experience.

[birmanbaby]

make peace with the fact that your DD has very little common sense, very little self-control, seems extremely immature and is not bright or self-aware enough to learn from the consequences of her actions

Gawd....not only is that really exaggerating but describes a hell of a lot of normal teenagers!

[Japonicaflower2]

Well I guess it’s her that will have the life long consequences of your lack of dealing with it but good luck to her anyway.
^^
Well said! You appear to be detached from actually a) taking on the advice you've sought here b) almost oblivious to the effects of your DD's behaviour on her future.
You've repeatedly experienced unusual behaviours yet you choose to ignore them.
Wake up OP! 😳

[MumUnderTheMoon]

I was diagnosed with ASD when I was 27 and mild add and dyspraxia at 33. My dd was diagnosed with dyslexia and dyscalculia at 11. Schools don't always pick these things up. I don't know if your dd has an additional need but if she has issues around focus and memory and impulsively and can't react appropriately to consequences so as to not do something wrong over and over again then I think you should discuss it with your gp. However just because you know she'll probably do it again and even if she ends up with an identity of an additional need doesn't mean that you shouldn't tell her off and punish poor behaviour. Additional needs are the reason some people behave poorly but they shouldn't be used as an excuse and go without consequences.

[TapasForTwo]

I agree with some of the PPs who have suggested some form of ADHD and/or HFA.

Quite often girls are good at masking these things and they don't get picked up until they are older. DD's best friend at school was only diagnosed in year 13, and was given adjustment during her A levels.

I really think a chat with the GP would be a good idea.

[youarenotkiddingme]

You sound a great parent as you aren't excusing her behaviour.

Year 10 mocks are internal - they are a practise run.

But totally agree it sounds like their may be an issue that needs addressing. Sounds like ADHD or similar. The lack of self control despite having awareness of danger and rules is a red flag.

[Smokesandeats]

Op, its possible that your DD could have attention deficit disorder without the hyperactivity. There can also be an overlap with dyspraxia and ASD. Has she ever been assessed? Her behaviour sounds just like someone I know who has ADD because they just don’t ‘get’ social cues like a normal child.

You still need to talk to her about behaviour in exams and explain what will happen if she is banned from GCSE exams next year because it doesn’t sound like she has thought her actions through. Are you in a position to pay for a private assessment? You need to know if she is just a difficult teenager or if she needs extra help.

Most girls with ASD or ADD are diagnosed much later than boys because they are better at masking their symptoms.

[DonkeyHohtay]

My son sits his exams in isolation because he types them rather than writing them. Other children who need the papers to be read aloud or use a scribe do similar.

School has a limited number of spaces which they can use for these exams as despite senior pupils doing exams, the rest of the years are in as usual and the whole school can't just grind to a halt.

Yes investigate the special needs thing but if it is the case that she is just immature and not taking the whole thing seriously, you have a year to give her a massive boot up the arse before her real exams.

[pink412]

Mine where in isolation as I have problems reading and writing and could not bend down to write someone had to do it for me

[TeenTimesTwo]

So, to summarise.

1. They are mocks, so an opportunity for her to learn.
   
2. You need to ask the school what they are doing with the exam behind the scenes
   

• marking them and using them for setting next year
  
• giving her zero but keeping her in same sets
  
• giving her zero and bumping her down sets
  

(I would have thought the only sensible option would be the first)
3) You need to give strong thought as to whether this is silliness or something else. If she was warned after the first exam and yet still repeated the behaviour, then she either doesn't care, doesn't understand the seriousness, or can't help it.

Is this the first time she's had exams in a big room?

[LIZS]

She needs to realise that if she breaks rules once in real external exams it could lead to her being disqualified from either one paper, one gcse or all gcses with the same board. Gcse exams tend not to be very long, does she have an issue with distractability or concentration?

[Wheresthebeach]

Go see the Senco asap and get moving on getting your daughter help before she messes up her GCSE's.

[newyearoldme]

The "lesson" is surely that unless she improves her behaviour in exams, she'll be disqualified from the real exams next year and leave school with no GCSEs whatsoever. She's not going to get exam allowances unless she has a diagnosed SEN and she meets all the exam board criteria for extra support which is a complicated and lengthy process which even for genuine SEN students doesn't always result in extra time, different room etc. This is why mocks are such a wake up call for many: not just academically but practically and behaviourally too.

[pointythings]

We didn't work out until Yr10 that DD2 is likely to have HF ASD. Having researched, she's pretty typical of how a girl would present. We haven'g sought diagnosis because she's developed a lot of positive coping strategies and manages well both academically and socially. We've identified a lot of stressors and taken them out of everyday life, and in her case it's likely that she will cope much better in 6th form than in a big school.

But she doesn't exhibit impulsive behaviour and doesn't jeopardise her education - your DD does. I think doing a bit of thinking about possible ADHD in her case would be worthwhile. It's not always easy to pick these things up in females.

[ilikechickentacos]

She did some revision for her mocks and seemed quite willing but left it to the last minute. I’ve heard of asd ect and have heard about how some mask it but I never imagined my daughter to be a possible contender.

[ilikechickentacos]

I’m obviously not going to ignore mumsnet advice so I’m not just completely ignoring the idea of asd and or adhd , dyslexia ect like a few of you have suggested. First time doing exams in a big hall I must admit.

[Lara53]

Why would she not learn from this mistake?

[ilikechickentacos]

Already have explained in a previous post

[FriarTuck]

She sounds textbook female presenting ADHD, frankly.
She sounds equally textbook attention-seeking, bored, who refuses to do what they're told just because, or disruptive. I don't know why people are so insistent on putting everything down to SN (and I say that as someone with autism) when actually it could all be down to a typical pain in the ass teenager (no disrespect OP!). If OP goes full-on down assessment route when it's not that then DD has even less incentive to change her mindset and grow up.

[Devondoggydaycare]

Now it's interesting that you mentioned that you have a DS who is usually in trouble. Your DD jumpsboff a wall & breaks her leg - she gets attention. She does it again - she gets attention. She ignores instructions and disrupts year 10 mocks - she gets attention. She will be the centre of attention with her friends and she's getting your attention as well. Could this be a bit of sibling rivalry?

[youarenotkiddingme]

Friar I think others (I know I have) have thought send because of OP stating she has impulsiveness and even injury and disqualification haven't deterred her but otherwise in general day to day she's not naughty or will fully difficult .

My own ds the same age has asd. One of the things we recognised from an early age was "don't do ....." meant he wouldn't. Well behaved and a rule follower.

"I wouldn't" "it's not a good idea to" "that may result in breakages/ damage/ injury" just did not register with him.

He will NEVER do anything he's specifically not not to. But he gets into trouble when he doesn't realise something isn't ok because he cannot work out for himself.

[LolaSmiles]

FriarTuck
I'm inclined to agree with you on that.

Schools see hundreds if not thousands of students each day. In a day a handful will be the ones who mess around, ignore instructions, act the clown, try to get some attention (even better if it can be diminished later as 'only just....' to make it seem trivial and to minimise the disruptive impact), show off to their mates and generally take staff time away from educating the majority and giving them opportunities.
Just like some colleagues can be arseholes and awkward and refuse to do what they know is expected of them, the same is true of students.

[ilikechickentacos]

Friar that could be a very plausible explanation for her behaviour. I do give her attention though , I’m not sure whether she wants more attention from school like her brother though but he’s a bit younger than her (secondary school age also) so she should know better