DD upset at going back to boarding school

[Catgranny]

My DD left to go back to school after leave out WE and got upset as she left ( DH driving her). She started school last September and it was a very much last minute decision. She had the choice to go or not and has adapted amazingly well. She seems to be thriving and we've had nothing but great reports, from the school and her.
I'm sure that she was just tired today after a busy fun filled weekend and I'm sure that she will settle in once she is back!
She is very open and she would tell me if there was a problem so was this just a blip?

It's probably just a blip. My ds1 went to boarding school. He didn't want to go but I said to him that if he has unhappy after the first 6m I'd take him away. He wrote me a letter saying he never knew boarding school could be so much fun. See if there's any specific reason?

Only your daughter can tell you if it was a blip or not, so I'd say have a good conversation with her about it. She may be struggling and not letting on or she may be absolutely fine and is just having a brief moment of homesickness that will dissipate as soon as she's back with her friends. I'd definitely recommend talking to her about it, no pressure either way.

My experience: I was a boarder and I hated it. Generally I managed not to cry on my way back to school but I did once I was there, every term, half term and weekend out for about three years. I didn't want my parents to know, because I'd won two scholarships to that school and I didn't want to let them down. I needed them to push it a bit more, but they never did and I was too ashamed to tell them that I was unhappy.

If I'd known how miserable my mother was at saying goodbye to me and then worrying that I wasn't happy, I think it would have been a lot easier to say I wanted to come home! It's amazing how much responsibility pre-teens can feel for their families, though.

Thank you both so much! My DH has just messaged to say they've stopped for food and she's back to her happy self!!
I think I was just upset as its really the first time that she has not 'skipped' back.
We always ask how things are/how she's coping and she genuinely seems to be loving it. I will obviously keep on checking though.

Stitchwitch.
How awful for you and your mum
I know it's not for everyone and TBH I struggle with it but never let that show.
Maybe I'm giving vibes!

I only boarded for a couple of years and they were mainly very happy ones, but I can well remember the return journeys to school, particularly after a short weekend out, being nearly always miserable. Flashes of homesickness after being reminded of how nice it was to be with family. The first night back was often a bit grim but I soon settled after that and loved it once I was back there. Keep on checking she’s happy, but I’m sure it’s fine.

Pops
I spoke to my SiL tonight and she said pretty much the same as you. It was just that feeling of leaving home but was all fine once back.

Sherry
I do tell her I miss her lots and we as a family discuss feelings openly but I think I meant that this last minute decision to be a boarder has been a bit of a shock to the system and that's what I struggle with. I'm sure it's right for her and leaving if it doesn't suit her is always an option.

We had this once, but she was a bit under the weather, ever since I've been nagged to get back at the beginning of the drop off window

Leaving is only an option if it’s discussed. Chat about it and then if she needs that option it won’t be a “coming out” moment.

Agree with poster above, no harm in reminding her that she has a choice and quitting doesn't mean failing.
Sometimes just knowing you have options makes it easier to dig in and get on during the tough bits.

And tell school about it, just so they can keep an extra look out for her.

Thank you all for your advice and help. First time poster so I really appreciate it!

DH just called to say they've just had a blowout (tyre!) and it looks like our garage has not put the locking wheel nuts back in the car when they changed the tyres. So they are sat a few miles from school waiting for the AA and a friend to come and take DD to school!

Yetanother yes I will. She is in an lovely house with brilliant pastoral care.

It's normal for us to have wobbles in life, I have a new job and at times I wobble. My DS boarded from prep we all used to hate the beginning of term, watching the clock on the last day waiting for the time when we had to leave for school, the beginning of autumn was always particularly difficult after a lovely long break and some exeats. That heavy feeling as you pack their stuff in the car and there was a certain point driving there the you knew you'd got beyond a point of no return. We are an open speak you mind type of family and I made it clear that I missed him a lot. He also knew that he could leave if he hated it and at the end of yr 8 and yr 11 he was given the choice to stop boarding altogether or do flexi boarding he chose to continue. at the end of year 13 I asked him if he regretted his decision to board and he said he didn't. Now 21 and at university I still feel that same when he goes back and of course I don't see him for even longer periods, he's on his way home on Tuesday and just like when he's was boarding Im already counting down the hours and according to his txts sure he feels the same.But I now he's happy at uni.
We can feel sad and should always acknowledge it but this doesn't mean your DD is doing the wrong thing.

DH just called to say they've just had a blowout (tyre!) and it looks like our garage has not put the locking wheel nuts back in the car when they changed the tyres

Sounds a bit dangerous. I wouldn't be going back to that garage!

DD back at school and totally settled. She told DH that the tears were due to being so tired. She catches up on lots of sleep on half term/end of term breaks but wants woken up early on leave out so as to have more family time.....so maybe just tired and emotional.

Puffins
Well known large garage group.....not some dodgy bloke up the street!!! 😂

Cool. I saw someone on TV who'd ended up paralysed due to a blown tyre!

Both of mine boarded. Only one had a blip. Soon recovered and both enjoyed 7 years of boarding. You do have to try and get to the bottom of the blip! Mine were full of beans going back to school. Not tired. They slept in at home and chilled out. We didn’t wake them or have maximum family time. It just wasn’t needed. Try and let her chill and sleep in so tiredness isn’t an issue. She shouldn’t be going back tired.

My DS boarded happily for six years. I agree with PPs that nothing beats the misery of the moment of leaving home to go back to school.

I always preferred to be there when we took him back, because then I could witness the visible perking up as we actually arrived at the school and started bumping into friends. I hated it when DH took him back on his own, as sometimes happened.

We never found that remotely miserable. I just think occasionally it can get a bit overwhelming. My DD2 has a blip when she arrived at school and wanted to come home. She had seemed fine when leaving the house. Good staff helped her settle in and it was a once only occasion. It’s hard though!

Thank you all.
DD skipped back in to school and all's well.
No issues and, yes, just a blip!
Last message was tennis practice was great and she was off to supper........ starving!!