Help 16 year old bulimic daughter in bits re art due in tomorrow

[bkgirl]

My daughter admitted 2 weeks ago to being bulimic, she had got to the point she was missing school a lot. Dreading it. School knows, attending counsellor at school and waiting 9 weeks for camhs. Tonight she is in bits, she is supposed to hand in art tomorrow but she has too much to do. This week she just couldn't lift her head and cried it out. She is overwhelmed. Do you think she could get an extension, she said it has to be uploaded tomorrow morning to ccea so no chance.

If you can take her to the GP tomorrow and get a letter which can then be scanned and sent over to ccea you might have some luck there. We had to do that when DS was sick in an exam.

Good luck. I hope your DD is feeling better soon.

How old is your DD? I'm guessing it's the mocks for GCSE? Is any of it going to count toward a final grade? Hopefully either way the school are not putting pressure on her. It's more important she doesn't become a school refuser completely and gentle support will be the school's priority I would think. If this sounds like what you're experiencing from them so far I'd be tempted to gently encourage her to stop working and get a nice hot drink and some comfy pj's on. If she's not in yr11 then honestly the work is not priority and she should be encouraged to rest and relax and you'll speak to the school in the morning.
Be gentle with yourself, too, OP. Sending hugs to you both.

Sorry just saw her age was in the title. Yes you can send a doctor's note, I would ask the HOY for clarification of how long you have, textiles is 2 days for the Exam, Art is 3 I think. Art was last week for my school but perhaps it's different regionally. If she was due to hand all work in tomorrow I'd see the GP urgently but definitely speak to the school first thing tomorrow re. time limits.

Take her to gp tomorrow and get a letter to send off in case they can offer an extension. Also tell her it doesn't matter. Even if you can't get an extension her health is way more important and seeing that you aren't worried will help. I know I sound blasé but I got 10 GCSEs and haven't been asked about them since I picked my alevels. If she wants to continue with art you can fight like hell to get her extra time later or she could redo it at college. Managing your mental health is often a lifelong concern so it's better to teach her young to focus on that and worry about the rest later.

Thanks, I will do all of the above. I just can't believe I didn't catch on for a whole year that she was chucking up. Honestly, I just feel scared and broken hearted for her....she looks incredibly sad.

Don't be hard on yourself, this parenting thing is hard work and it's impossible to notice everything about our children, especially things like anorexia and bulimia which they are good at hiding.

My dd has to give in her sketchbook today as well.

Yes to GP, phone school as well first thing and ask for the art teacher or someone who knows about it to call you back. She can stay at home today and do what she can on her coursework - I know my dd is going to be finishing her last piece off today at school and will probably give in her sketchbook at the end of the day.

Many hugs to you for having to cope with the bulimia, at least she has now told you and you've got help initiated.

What's she planning to do in September? Does she need the art GCSE? We've been reminded in our family this year that your child's health - mental or physical - is the most important thing, more important than a qualification. Your dd has presumably done her art exam, she's got all of her previous work on the coursework done - she may not be able to get an extension, she might have to accept that she's done her best, give it in and concentrate on the next few weeks, and letting herself be helped.

And I know that's easier said than done. My dd has had to accept that she's probably not going to get as stellar GCSE results as her older siblings due to her health issues, but we all know she hasn't put in any less effort and that the last two years have been really tough for her - we're really proud of her for that, as I'm sure you are of your daughter who's got this far whilst trying to deal with this horrible problem all by herself.

Anyway, good luck with today.