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Not sure what to do for the best, please help

4 replies

ZaraandJ · 04/04/2019 14:44

I really don't know what to do for the best, I'll try not to make this too long.

Ds has only ever really considered one secondary school, always had his heart set on it, the one right by his primary. It seems a nice decent local school and we were more than happy to send him there. Only now, despite being only a mile away, he hasn't got in. Any other year he would have easily got a place, we've been very unlucky, he's absolutely gutted and so are we.

He's way, way down the waiting list and there's never much movement with their list so no hope there.

His second choice (the one he was offered) is closer, ds liked it when he looked round, but doesn't really want to go there. It's a shiny new building, very close, but despite efforts over the years it's never been a very good school and right now they're in an awful mess. In special measures, no headteacher, can't keep staff. They went into special measures after we'd already put ds choices in, I had a feeling when I'd looked round that something was amiss there, but it was our back up school being so close.

There aren't really any other schools that are that close, there is another school not too far away that's a good school, we could go on their waiting list, but ds won't hear of it, he actually said he'd rather die than go there.

He won't hear of going on waiting lists for any other schools a bit further away.

I don't know whether to just accept he's going to crap local school, and hope things improve and that ds is happy there, or whether to try waiting lists for better, further away schools going completely against ds wishes.

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 04/04/2019 14:57

I think there are two issues here.

First, things you can do so you aren’t at a school in special measures. Appeal for the school you want.
Get on every waiting list so you have options.
Look at schools you hadn’t considered. Eg, I’m another county.

Second is your ds’s attitude (for want of a better word) towards what has happened. The language you have used ‘had his heart set on it’ is really emotive. You are going to have to help him to come to terms with it. That going to that school is probably not going to happen but that is isn’t the end of the world. He can still see the kids from his primary. There will be transition days for him to meet other dc who are going to the secondary.

ZaraandJ · 04/04/2019 15:16

We are appealing but I'm being realistic about this.

Believe me I have tried and am still trying to help him to deal with this.

I have been so positive about the school he's been offered and others, we've talked about transition days, meeting new friends in different lessons, after school clubs that will be available to him.

When ds gets fixed on something it's very difficult to get him to think any other way. He does not like change of any sort.

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 04/04/2019 16:15

It sounds like you are doing and saying all of the right things.

I had a terrible time with not getting a school place myself and my dd had no school place at all for three months. The system is far from perfect.

On a brighter note, my other dd went straight into year seven, a term late, in a newly opened academy in a not so good are, not knowing anyone at all and she was absolutely fine.

admission · 04/04/2019 16:39

Firstly I would ask whether you are sure that your application for your preference school does appear to have been correctly administered. Part of that will only be discovered at an appeal but as a first check I am assuming that you lost out on distance. You need to check whether on the letter you have had confirming not getting into your preferred school has the distance to your home, does this seem sensible and is it outside the distance quoted for the last admission place. If there are no distances then ask, there should be.
The other thing to say is that your allocated school might be in special measures and not have a headteacher currently but it probably will have a headteacher in September and bringing the right person can have a massive positive effect on a school in a short period of time. It could well be in twelve months time that it will be unrecognisable from what it is now.

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