Would you be honest at this point?

[Honestlymaybe]

Ds was offered his third choice of school. Struggling local school.

First choice was about a mile away, always been his first choice, is where his friends are going, right by his primary. Decent enough school, any other year we'd have got in easily, it must be a huge intake this year.

Second choice about a mile away, wasn't really his first choice but I knew he wouldn't get into this one but was imo the second best school.

Third choice is failing local school a stones throw away, he won't know anyone, results and ofsted are quite frankly terrible. On the plus side it's about a 2 minute walk and it was ds genuine second choice. They've got great facilities, they just can't keep their staff.

He really really wants his first choice. However, we've got no strong grounds to appeal, and I know there are at least 3 from his primary appealing too.

Phoned the school today, he's 25th on the waiting list. It's hard to believe considering the LA told us we'd only missed out by 150 metres! But there you have it, number 25th.

So as it stands I don't see that we have any hope at all of him getting in, it's possible I suppose, but unlikely.

Would you be honest with him at this point and tell him there's little chance at all?

I've tried to be positive about the school he's been offered but his face drops every time we even go past it.

Just to check. You say he won't know anyone, but 3 from his primary also didn't get into their preferred school, so where are they going?

I'd be honest. Say you knew #1 wasn't certain, and it was his 2nd choice. Talk up the facilities, the fact it is close, he'll meet new people. Find anything you can to talk allocated school up.

You're going to have to tell him at some point so yes, I would tell him now. But dress it up with positives - try to think some up!

Good luck. Awful position to be in.

From experience I'd say the sooner you can 'big up' the new school, then the easier it will be.

By us they have taster/transition days where children spend the day at their new school and it's obvious who's going where, so he will need to know to transition properly.

Whilst you do need to be open with child I would appeal but tell them the chance of success is very low.
You say you have no case but you will have the same case as most other parents who are appealing, so you would be wrong to be assuming it is not worth appealing.
The first reason for appealing is to make sure as far as possible that your application was handled correctly. The vast majority are but sometimes things happen, so you should definitely be looking at the distance you have been quoted. Is it straight line distance or is it safe walking route? The later is much more likely to be subject to issues over distance.
You should also make sure that you are on the waiting list. The reality is that it could be that 20 of the 25 on the waiting list will actually reject any offer made as they are now happy with the school they have got.

Where we live (Greater London) number 25 would be a positive. Even the most popular schools get down to the 50s and 60s by September. That's because a lot eventually go private but still hold on to state offers.

Why not ask your admissions team what number/distance it got to last year? You might be pleasantly surprised by the answer.

Our brilliant local school has an intake of 300 and easily gets down to 60th on the waiting list just from the children that go private or move away. 25th would definitely get in - how big is the intake ?

The school has an intake of 185, I've been told that every single one has accepted their place. Last year only a small handful were offered from the waiting list.

DS1 was 8th on waiting list last year (intake 180-200) and didn't get in. We appealed, but were honest with him about our chances. We didn't get a place. Can you go on the waiting list for the third school too?

He really doesn't want to go to the other school, even less than the one he's been offered.

It's so hard because you've got to believe in the appeal somewhat, even knowing the chances are slim, because you couldn't go through the time and energy it takes otherwise.

Yet you're trying to accept the inevitable too.

How did your ds end up getting on bluechampagne? Has he settled ok at the school?

Fortunately we liked our second choice (just not as much as first) and he's settled in fine. Hope it works out for your DS.