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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Supporting home ed child transferring in-year to school.

8 replies

FuzzyShadowChatter · 10/03/2019 12:38

I received an email on Friday that a place has become available from the waiting list and that we'll get a letter to confirm in the next week. It still feels a bit unreal, we had been warned repeatedly about the waiting list so to get this less than a month after applying has thrown me off a bit. Now, I'm trying to figure this all out which I've never done before and support her as best I can.

My 12-year-old (Y7) has always been home educated, but over the last year she's been talking about considering school. She said she started thinking about it after seeing her older brother (Y9) looking into his options for GCSEs and vocational courses - and how she definitely doesn't like the look of the options he's looking at - and I think it is in part a bit of wanting a fresh start after an emotionally rough few years (multiple deaths in the family, her grandmother who she was close to died last December after a long illness) and always having been more a social if anxious butterfly so I have expected it. I fully support her, we toured a secondary school that is newly opened this year that specializes in one of her big interests which she really liked the look of, and to help her prepare, I added some new things to her lessons that are part of the school's (mostly Spanish and more music theory). Obviously in so short a time, we haven't gotten far, but I'm hoping it will help her feel a bit more confident.

I'm now trying to think of everything and hoping others have experience that can help her. The other home ed families I know, their kids are mostly like my oldest and using one of the local colleges' home ed programmes for Y10 or their kids are younger and/or not looking into going into school at all. Practically, I think I'm getting a handle on it a bit though I keep thinking of one more thing to consider (like she'll probably need a phone now, a bag with no logos or anything, the school has a "haircuts must not be shaved" rule which my understanding is that that means no less than a 3 so the Michelle Williams style pixie cut she's asking for will probably be fine but I might double check to be safe, I should probably arrange that eye test before she goes...my head just keeps creating to-do lists so I need to balance that as well as trying to not break the rules or be too annoying asking for clarification too much), so it's more supporting her in the home and on the emotional side of what is a big change and step into the unknown.

So yeah, child who has never been to school before going into school mid-year 7 with a mum who has never sent a child to school before and didn't go to British schools and is excited and overwhelmed a bit trying to make this a good start.

OP posts:
OVienna · 10/03/2019 13:07

Wow, what an exciting journey you guys are on.

How big is the school in terms of year group size? Will she be travelling there on her own?

FuzzyShadowChatter · 10/03/2019 13:22

It's about 180 in her year group and she'll be going by the same bus and getting off at the same stop she uses for cadets so transport is thankfully familiar to her.

It's very exciting, it feels like all these changes going on very quickly.

OP posts:
TapasForTwo · 10/03/2019 15:20

Does she already know anyone who goes to this school?

FuzzyShadowChatter · 10/03/2019 15:32

Not to my knowledge or hers, though I've suggested she asks around at cadet this week to see if any of the other Y7 kids go there.

OP posts:
crazycrofter · 10/03/2019 20:29

Just be prepared for it to be a steep learning curve! Secondary is a big change for most kids anyway, but the rest of her year will have acclimatised by now and teachers may assume knowledge of procedures which she won’t have.

My ds started year 7 at school after 2 and a bit years at home so a bit different. Also we’d already seen his sister through the transition to secondary (although a different school) so we knew the score (she’d never been home ed).

Some things really bothered him - particularly uniform! He really kicked against it and hated the feel of it. Also going every day, getting up early etc. But socially he settled fine.

Make sure she knows how to use the homework system if they use an online one. Best of luck! I hope she settles in quickly and makes friends. With both my kids, i felt that was the most important thing in year 7.

clary · 11/03/2019 20:21

Ask the school about some of your concerns, but most schools are fine with a logo bag, and the shaved hair they object to is either tramlines or number 1 all over so a girl's pixie cut will be fine 😊

TapasForTwo · 11/03/2019 20:34

Re the steep learning curve. You will need to consider several things:

  1. Rigidly structured days
  2. Homework being handed in on time
  3. Rules and regulations
  4. Uniform
  5. Timekeeping
  6. Dealing with children they may not get on with
  7. Teamwork
  8. Dealing with awkward questions from her peers as to why she didn't go to primary school
  9. Peer pressure

You may find that your DD will ask for things (phone/bag/shoes etc) so that she "fits in" with her peers.

Good luck. I hope it works out well for both you and her.

AtiaoftheJulii · 13/03/2019 06:53

My kids were HE from the start. 3 went to school at the beginning of y7 having applied in the usual way, one went into y9 with about two weeks notice so I can appreciate the whirl!

They honestly just slotted straight in - got accustomed easily to dealing with lesson times or homework deadlines, and the one who went into y9 found that people were interested in the new kid and so it wasn't very difficult to make friends. (She found it a bit annoying that after a month or so people were still asking her about being home educated, but that did settle down and soon there was another new kid and her novelty value disappeared!)

Getting up in the mornings was probably the worst thing, but plenty of people aren't morning people and struggle with that whether or not they went to primary school! (E.g. me 😃 )

Good luck with it all! When will she start?

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