Secondary School with relaxed rules, happy kids and decent results

[Pixelady]

Hi all, can anyone recommend a London or nearby town with a state Secondary school that is good for boys and girls, with happy kids who do well. My 2 kids are quite different so I need a school that works for both. I'm not looking for high pressure about exams, neither needs it. No bullying or social issues. Not strict, my ideal would be no uniform. No great emphasis on sports. A place with happy confident kids who enjoy their day. Any size school is fine, it's more about their attitude. And with a commute to central London not over 1.5 hours. Extra credit goes to towns with horses nearby. Thanks in advance!

Epsom has two great state secondary schools but they are a girls’ school (Rosebery) and a boys’ school (Glyn) so that may not be ideal. There is a mixed school too but I don’t know much about that one (Blenheim). Nearly all state schools will have school uniform. Lots of horses. Can you take your children to some open days?

Not sure such a school exists TBH. Schools are under such pressure to perform well, and are judged on their results.

I think you might need to move abroad to find such a school 😕 Or consider home education. From my experience schools have moved backwards in terms of strictness over uniform (and formality of it too). They’re pushed by the government and worried about their OFSTED rating and so push exams and getting expected results (teachers also get performance related pay) - not that this means a child having individualised education and achieving their full potential - this means logging data on a computer program and it telling them what the expected grade for a child should be.

Thanks "ChessIsASport", is Glyn strict or normal? The reason I'm looking for a co-ed school is to avoid strict boys schools. DS is anxious and well behaved so strict is a) counter productive and b) not needed. I went to a boys school for 6th form and it was awful - small minded and tedious, especially coming from a girls school where we were treated with trust and respect.

Thanks "ohmywhattodo", Ofsted does seem to be a double edged sword. But I guess what they really need is an additional happiness or vibe rating, a "strictrelaxed-ometer" scale, alongside their existing categories for management, behaviour, teaching and exam results. I've read lots of posts asking about schools like this for kids who are immature/shy/different/akward/ on the differently able scale. So I know I'm not the only one interested.

Does anyone know about towns like Marlow, High Wycombe, Godalming, Chalmont, Amersham, Kingston, Richmond, Tunbridge Wells?

Pixielady - have a look at Thamesmead in Shepperton - just outside the Richmond Borough area but children do manage to get places. My eldest two DC had a fantastic time there.

Godalming and surrounding villages are lovely. Horses a plenty!

Surrey (that part at least) has no grammar system so probably it is more relaxed and schools more inclusive in that sense - I think geographical catchments are tight for the schools that go to 16... and then Godalming sixth form is no uniform and excellent and then you have Alton, Guildford Farnham Colleges as alternatives...

I know you mentioned state - but have you considered Bedales? Sounds exactly like the school you describe - just with a downside of the fees! 🤪

Fortismere school doesn't have a uniform.

Greycourt in Ham? It’s got uniform but is very well regarded. Tunbridge Wells has Grammar schools. If you have time it might be worth watching Teddington. Recent poor ofsted but great building, nice site and a big desire to improve it. Again uniform. In North London there are a few schools without uniform eg Acland Burley and Fortismere.
St Chris in Letchworth sounds like what you want but it’s fee paying

Have a look at East Hampshire - Liphook, Petersfield and Alton. All on trainlines into Waterloo and some great schools and plenty of horses. Alton has two secondaries - Eggars and Amery and whilst you will be in catchment for one, there is never a problem getting into the other. Plenty of people send to the different secondaries depending on what suits that particular child. Both schools in Alton have uniforms but the pupils always seem happy walking to and from and general conversation is always how lucky we are. Petersfield has TPS and Liphook - Bohunt, both with great reputations.

I was going to recommend Alton too. Enormous well regarded sixth form college too which is very university like.

Marlow is in Bucks which has a 100% selective secondary system- so no comprehensive schools. There are 2 schools Sir William Borlase’s Grammar School (Grammar) and Great Marlow School (Upper). They are both great schools but have uniforms and lots of sport. They both have happy confident students and both are heavily oversubscribed. They both only offered to catchment- GMS to 4 miles (PAN 210). SWBGS to 1.7 miles (PAN 120).

Marlow has lots of horses!

I know Godalming - can’t think of a school like this near by unless private. There is a newish Free school in Woking

Thanks for all the great replies, yes, I know about Bedales, Frensham Heights and St. Christophers, all great but pricey. Fortismere and Acland Burghley sound great if we can get in which seems challenging. The problem is if we don't get in. Is Greycourt really chilled day to day? It certainly has a good rep academically. I was interested to check out Eggars and Amery in Alton, thanks for that tip. A quick web search on both shows more emphasis on social and pastoral care rather than putting exams first always. I like that they are the only 2 state schools in town too, makes getting in easy. I will investigate further. I will check out Thamesmead too, thanks. My read on the Marlow schools is they are too high pressure/academic. Petersfield is a bit far out. Thanks all, feel free to carry on with suggestions, especially if you have a kid who is not super academic or cool or sporty but is happy at school and still progressing.

The holy grail! 🏆

Hard to believe it’s so hard to find something that so many people want. It’s hardly rocket science. Good luck OP

Forest or free schools?

Acland Burghley doesn't (currently) have the crazy catchment of Fortismere, last year's was a mile (on offer day) but don't know this year's yet. To be honest I think you will struggle to find a non-uniform school that fits all your criteria as there are just so few of those now, so you may be best off prioritising other features.

Zinnia - good to know about Acland Burley, thanks. I'm not obsessing on the no uniform, just taking it as proof positive that the school cares about the whole child's mental state more than worrying about if their socks match or not. A school with a semi-relaxed uniform (no tie, any black trousers for example) would also be admirable.

If you are in London, then you have the Harriodian. No uniform, not sure if they have horse riding, but you have stables in Kingston and Wimbledon.

Harriodian - ah, but still fee paying.

Home Ed.

Drum roll....

Acland Burghley’s 2019 catchment is 0.71 miles. This is the smallest catchment since records have been kept (2008).

Oh, and because the catchment is now so small I’d rather lots of people didn’t move too close. Please. Thank you.

Horse and donkey riding at Kentish Town City Farm...

Ohhh, I want to be nice and helpful but I need to look out for my kids-

Crikey, 0.71 miles eh. How things turn around.