Secondary school appeals help

[Cocosunshine]

Hi all

We are in the horrible position of having to appeal for our son's secondary school place. I would love some advice.

Situation is:

• My son was diagnosed with leukaemia aged 7
• Treatment ended in Sept 2018 (it lasts 3.5 years)
• He won't be considered "cured" for 5 years
• He has ongoing appointments and close monitoring
• There are long and late term psychological and physical impacts of treatment

Our application was to our closest school, but the catchment is tiny so we are not close enough (1 Mike vs 0.3 miles). It has medical/social needs as a criterion, so we applied under that. Application basis was:

1. Closest school to our house. Enables us to manage appointments, maintain attendance, deal with issues (esp if he relapses). Easiest journey, important as fatigue is a long term side effect of leukaemia treatment. Important socially as he feels safe there, will have friends nearby

1. Social: as our local school, he has friends there. Important as he has emotional, self esteem and friendship issues following treatment

1. The school has a "unique ethos" (their words) of pastoral care and support, which he needs after the trauma he has been through.

This was supported by letters from:

• Oncologist at GOSH
• Oncologist at our local hospital
• Social worker at CLIC Sargent
• Family support officer at local children's hospice
• Letter from current head teacher

So:
Does this sound like a decent case or are we kidding ourselves?
How do we approach appeal - do we need to get new, additional evidence?
Can we find out in advance why our arguments weren't accepted under the med/social criterion?
What is the best strategy to formulate a strong case - pick one thing, argue them all? What is most likely to sway them?

Son is distraught and I am devastated. After everything he has been through, I want him to be safe and happy in his secondary school. Feels like a massive kick in the teeth :-(

Thanks for any help you can give us.

@maxybrown - how did it go today? I hope everything went well and it wasn't too stressful.

We got through the stage two hearing today - phew!

We had to wait two hours, so the stress was really intense by the time we got started. The Chair was rude, but he didn't seem as hostile as yesterday, and I thought he was maybe slightly sympathetic to our son's illness at least.

I felt like we really did the best we could - thanks to all the advice here and all the prep we'd done. We certainly couldn't have tried any harder and that is important, no matter what happens next.

Now going to try to forget about it for two weeks, when we get the results. Gulp.

I would like to say a massive thank you to everyone on Mumsnet who has helped us with advice and moral support. You have all been incredibly generous with your time, knowledge and support and made a horrible situation so much better. Thank you.

Hi @cocosunshine. Two weeks?

It's been a very long emotional day here. But we feel we've done everything we could and are happy with what we've submitted and said etc. Our panel were all very lovely and the chair was superbly professional but polite and I felt they all listened. Not just to us, I watched them carefully during the schools case too.

We can ring up after 9.30 tomorrow morning. Which I am very scared to do

maxy I made DH call! He sent me a text and I cried.
It's good you and coco feel you gave it your best. I walked away thinking I'd given a good show and I had done my very best. And if the panel turned it down then they were cold hearted horrors who wouldn't have given anyone a place.
Can't believe a two week wait though :(

@maxybrown that is a scary call to make. I think I'd do the same as @AlunWynsKnee and get my husband to do it. I will have everything crossed for you!!

The two week wait is frustrating as we're still in limbo and September isn't far away. Just assuming he's going to the offered school and getting on with that.

All very stressful! Best of luck @maxybrown, let us know what happens

Thank you! DH is a teacher so wouldn't be able to ring until much much later if at all. I have a friend coming over to be with me thankfully.

Haven't slept a wink though, tossed and turned all night.

Courage @maxybrown - I have everything crossed for you.

Lots of luck. We lost our appeal, but hope it turns out well for you.

I am really sorry @JoannaDW. I hope that wherever your child goes to school they are happy and they flourish. This is a horrible process, I'm so sorry you didn't get the right outcome.

Good luck OP

Good luck to those still waiting and sorry to those which were sadly unsuccessful.

We had ours on Thursday, went ok. I cried at the end as had to go into detail about her disability (and think the stress of it all just got me!) but the panel and chair were all really nice and felt they were quite sympathetic. I don’t actually think we will win as there is around 70 other appeals being heard! We find out in approximately 2 weeks as they don’t make a decision until they have heard all the appeals which do not finish until next Wednesday then it’s 5 working days from then.

So pleased it’s over! Just want to know the outcome now one way or the other so my daughter can start getting excited about her school and make plans etc.

Thank you for everyone who has given advice on these threads, it really did help me prepare for the appeal.

Good luck to everyone xx

Good luck to those still waiting to hear. We sadly were not successful. Feel totally disheartened with the whole system. DS has autism and we have literally been fighting his whole life. For seemingly no break, ever. Hope other people are still successful though!

Am so sorry to hear this @maxybrown :(

Is so unfair how we are having to fight for our children to be safe and happy in school.

X

Thank you. One week on we are in a much better place. I have now got him into a school around the corner from our first preference that has better sports facilities and results that’s compare well with the 1st school as well. We had initially dismissed it because we were allowing ourselves to be influenced by the reputation they gained during a trough period. It is now on the up and our son is happy for the first time in 3months. It has been a truly dreadful time and the stress has eaten away at me. Hoping things will turn out for the best. We kind of thought that not getting the appeal was fate’s way of telling us that maybe it wasn’t the best option and to look elsewhere. The irony is, after all these months, within days we had an offer and went straight to number 8 on the waiting list of another popular faith school we approached. My point is, there is hope when you think all is lost and this time last week, I really had thought our world had collapsed. Sounds dramatic I know, but I invested so much time, effort and energy into the appeal, it was devastating to lose it. I hope it works out for everyone and wish you lots of luck for the future.

Oh maxy I'm sorry. I do know what you mean about fighting for everything. Why should getting a decent outcome for a child with additional needs be such an uphill struggle all the time for every single thing?

@AlunWynsKnee exactly. He's really really struggled, had 18 months out of school and suffered depression too. He's 11 fgs. He has one friend and really struggles with friendships. But he's well behaved and really did deserve a break. I feel so dreadfully sorry for him - it wasn't even the best results school or anything that we were appealing for! It was just the one that best met his needs. Like really did. Feel very low. 9 years if fighting has taken its toll and I feel absolutely broken right now.

Oh I wish I knew you to give you a cup of tea and an unMNy hug @maxybrown The toll this takes on parents goes unseen. My MH is a mess from it all. They really do deserve a break all these quiet, good children turning all their frustration and fear in on themselves. The one thing that cheers me up is dd said to the Ed Psych that she knows I will always fight for her and she knows I'm always on her side. At least she's got that.

Oh heck that made me sniffle! It's nice someone understands. I always say DS is an inside out cactus. So so hard to get people to understand and yes, see the toll it takes on us all. Thank you

Sorry to hear that Maxy, the appeals process is really emotionally hard. Is there any chance of a waiting list place?

@maxybrown I am so sorry, I am really gutted for you. That must feel like an absolute kick in the teeth when you really need support and understanding. I've been thinking about you all day and was really hoping to log on and see good news. The system is absolutely awful - it's a horrible thing to go through, you work so hard and then they just say no. I really am sorry. I hope that JoannaDW's story gives you some hope that there's a way forward, even if you can't see it yet.

@JoannaDW I am sorry you had to go through all the stress and heart ache, but I'm really pleased that you've found a great school for your son. Thanks for sharing your story, it brings hope to all of us anxiously waiting or already coping with a disappointing result.

@Lizzylou1978, we're also waiting two weeks from yesterday. It's horrible. I can't believe there were 70 appeals for the school you want!!! That's mad! Hoping you win - good luck.

70 appeals is unbelievable! Wow!

Thank you everyone. I'm so tired now been a bit of an emotional day.

I hope at least one person gets some.good news!

As for waiting list place it's highly unlikely - there is almost 50 on the list and we are much closer to 50 I think than 0 😂

Ds took it well but we were very light-hearted putting it across. Thank goodness I'd had all day to cry! He is absolutely gutted I know and scared whitless. We will always have his back but am so scared for him. He struggles daily as it is

Just thought I would post an update on our appeal - received the letter on Thursday that we won!! All very shocked and actually I just burst into tears as think the emotion of the past few months just hit me.
Feeling very fortunate as I know sadly a lot of people haven’t had such good news.

I hope it works out for the best for everyone xx

Congratulations Lisso

Excellent typing there. Great news!

We received our outcome letter last week, and I am very pleased and feel very lucky to say that we won. My son is absolutely thrilled and very excited to have a place at the school he wanted, and we are all delighted and relieved.

I am incredibly grateful to everyone on this thread who shared advice, experience and support to help us. In particular, I would like to say a huge thank you to the following amazing people, who went way above and beyond to help us - without you there is no way we would have won:

@prh47bridge
@PanelChair
@admission
@Lougle
@HotpotLawyer
@bourgeoisfishwife

To those who weren't as lucky, I'm sorry and I hope that you have found a good alternative that you're happy with, and that you see a way forward.

Thanks again to everyone, you are all amazing and we are so grateful and always will be.

Yey!! Great news

A good friend of mine found out her appeal was successful this afternoon. So pleased.

It must be a weight off your mind