Secondary offers Indie with bursary or superselective Grammar?

[Tiredgrandmama]

What would you do?

I didnt get a secondary school offer letter for my dd!!!! What do i do

Which is best for your dc? Sounds obvious, but fees don’t guarantee a better education. (I went to private school on full scholarship until gcse, selective grammar for a levels. The grammar was much more academic and suited me better. The private took anyone with money and failed to stretch more able students... but that’s obviously not true of all)

It depends on which schools we're talking about
QE vs, say, City, I would go for QE

QE vs Westminster or St Paul, I would go for the independent option.

I've been doing lots of exams with my children, PM me if you want to have a chat.

At the risk of appearing rude...

I never understand why people wait so long to make these decisions. Surely you have visited both schools already, you and your child have a preference, and you discussed in advance what you would do in this scenario?

There will be lots of people with children on waiting lists hoping to pick up places at both these schools. Just make your decision and release one!

I get why yout're agonising - it's because there's a difference between how you think about schools when they're a 'maybe' and when there are a actual offers,a nod you move up a step from mulling possibilities to actually choosing options.

First thing is to try to discard general perception and perceived parental bragging rights (surprisingly pervasive, even when you think you don't hold them). Secondly, what does your DD think, and why? Because she's the one who has to live this choice. Thirdly, take a hard look at what the school run is actually like during morning rush hour - what would it be like for DD with backpack and sports bag?

Then think about whether, with the bursary, you can afford the independent comfortably enough. Day uniform is often much the same price as state, but there can be oodles of sports kit (not all of which is fit after use to pass on to the second hand sale)

And also things like range of subjects (including at A level, no matter how distant that seems) clubs and activities. Recheck that you are happy with the pastoral systems

(I'm assuming the academic standards of both are good).

Atipipipi- I suggest you start a new thread, because your completely separate issue will get overlooked on this one

I would also add up the cost of exam fees and lunch fees as well as school trips and travel. Don’t forget keeping up with the Joneses. But when I was stressing out about this same issue I found out that kids and parents can be much snobbier at grammar school, so it’s whatever you feel is best.

This is one if those questions that no-one can answer except you. You know your child and the school. Look at the kids that come out of each school and decide which you want for your child?

Fwiw I have friends with kids at a superselctive and they are focussed on academic education above all else, they always seem stressed and have very few hobbies. The independent and state comp kids I know seem much happier and well rounded.

Fifthtimelucky You do not appear rude at all. The grammar school results came two weeks after indies. Plenty of time to have gone through this.

Can't tell without knowing the schools.. There is a world of difference within the categories of grammars and independents as I'm sure you're aware.

Depends on the child and fit with either school - you are not helping people help you when you provide so little info.

apitititi log into the online account you made the application through. Check the email account you used, if no joy, call the LA on Monday morning.

OP if the grammar place arrived with a huge sigh of relief about fee worry / pressure, accept it. Otherwise work through all the pros and cons of each school, including travel time and journey, friends etc.

Bit harsh to criticise the OP for not making her choice yet - she only got the offer yesterday, and probably can't even refuse it yet - here, we have to wait for the hard copy letter. Besides, I don't know if it's the same everywhere, but I'm pretty sure that in our area, it doesn't make any difference whether you decline the offer today or on 15th March - they will wait until all the responses are received, then the schools re-rank the waiting list children and any late applicants, prior to a reallocation round in April. I agree that it's immoral to actually accept a state place as a back-up, but I think it's perfectly reasonable to use your full two week 'thinking' time. The OP might still be looking into financial arrangements; she might be waiting on a further open day to make a final decision; or she might just have needed the offers on the table to crystallise her choice. That last might sound illogical - but she's only human!

OP we are in exactly the same position - bursary or SS grammar. We are going to opt for the indie.

How long is a piece of string? If you want specific advice, you will need to name the schools. I have a DS at a SS Grammar named above and We had to make a similar decision several years ago. It is really difficult to advise without you naming your options as ‘Indie’ covers such a wide range of schools!

The offer may only just have been received, but surely the thinking doesn't start now? In some areas the independent school offers have been out for at least a month (obviously we don't know where the OP lives, so we don't know in her case).

Surely a decision could have been made in principle, as soon as the bursary offer had been received.

Really depends on each school and the child.
When we faced this choice we opted for the Private School - but that was based on comparing those 2 specific schools

If finances are a concern in the current Brexit and economic climate I would go for the selective grammar. Not sure how bursaries work though.

Definitely factor in journey times to your decision. Reliable and short journey counts for a lot in the pros and cons analysis.

I agree with wombat dd School is less than 5 minutes walk from home and she often brings friends home with her, I also don’t have to run her to any after school activities etc. The Grammar was in the next town and she would be on a bus at 7.30. Plus if she wanted to stay later I wouid have needed to go and collect her, which would have impacted her younger brother too

Is the Bursary 100% guaranteed for the full 5-7 years?

If so I'd be tempted by the Indie (if the academics are the same). I'm assuming that the indie will have better facilities.

My DC are at local Grammars and they don't seem to get the same amount of funding as other schools.

Bursaries are normally means tested and will be reviewed each year, so it is not guaranteed. The other PPs made a good point that you need to name the schools for more relevant comments. I know someone turned down a 100% bursary from a top west London Indie in favour of HBS due to the commute and cost of moving. I read somewhere on MN someone choose SPGS with bursary over Tiffin as it offers the extra curriculum stuff the DD is keen to get involved. All sorts of reason and very specific to the DC and schools in question.

No, the thinking won't be starting now, but it might not quite be finished yet. It's a huge decision to make, you want to be really sure. And as I said, it probably makes no difference to the secondary re-offers whether she declines the SS place now or in two weeks - so why not use the time? Anyway, OP's indie acceptance deadline may well be sooner anyway, so she probably hasn't got until the 15th to decide.

What did you decide, OP?

how about Tiffin girls vs city of London girls? If you don’t mind, it would be great to know your opinion please. Thanks.

If Nottinghill and Ealing girls full bursary vs Tiffin girls, which school would be better for a girl is ok or good with netball or grade5 violin for orchestra at school. Your opinion would be very helpful. I have a city of London girls wait list with full bursary but not sure it will come to us when WL moves.