DD hates school due to noise

[Nancy74]

DD is in year 8 and recently disclosed that she's self harming. She says the main source of her stress is school which she hates. When I try and get to the bottom of it she just keeps saying it's too noisy and stresses her. It is a large school) 7 form entry) but that's standard round here. She's talked about wanting to walk out of class etc which i have told her is unacceptable. Has anyone else had experience of this? She has always been very sensitive to noise but this is getting to be a real issue. I am trying to tread carefully between supportibg her whilst not encouraging the drama of it all. It does sound like her teaching group is a bit wild and loud. But I don't think she can change groups as they're streamed.

Have her tested for Auditory Processing Disorder. My daughter was diagnosed last year and the difference in her now we know about it and adjustments have been made are huge. It often goes undiagnosed.

Her behaviour is fairly typical of teenagers who have it.

Thank you. What's the treatment for APD?

Oh, poor girl. I think you need to take her seriously.

Talk to school, see what they suggest and help her to develop coping strategies. And maybe a trip to the GP too.

The school haven't been that helpful to be honest.i don't know where to start.

Dd had soft foam earplugs at first then we bought silicone drummers earplugs that worked even better, dulls the sound but doesn't block. However I would seek professional support as it's unlikely to just be sound

When you say professional support, where do you mean? I dont know where to start. She has a cahms appointment in a few months so I'll ask them. She is also sensitive to things like socks seams.

OP your daughter sounds like mine. A class just settling down and opening their books can set her off on a bad day - lack of sleep makes it worse. Mine just breaks down in tears and is not able to function unless given the space to collect herself. Please do take your daughter seriously, she's not making this up and she probably can't control it either. Please talk to the school and see if they can offer any support. My daughter is allowed to leave the room if she needs to and she also has ear defenders, which she is allowed to wear by the teachers, and this has helped a lot.

Ask your DD where the worst points are.

Break/Lunch - there may be a designated 'quiet' area she could be allowed into
Lesson change over - she may be allowed to leave class a couple of minutes early so she can get to next point before the bell goes
Lessons - they may have a 'red card' system that she can show and step out of class for a couple of minutes to re-regulate

^^ Our school has all the above.

You may also like to look up:

• Sensory Processing Disorder
• Dyspraxia
• Autism in girls

to see whether any of them strike a bell with you. She may have other quirks that you don't realise are related until you see them together in a list.

If her main issues are sensory in nature, it is very unlikely she'd get NHS support as most areas don't assess this separately (it can also be a feature of ASD or ADHD).
Occupational therapists can help but you'd be looking at private assessment and/or treatment.

There is no treatment or fix for APD. It’s a bit like dyslexia for your ears - your ears and hearing work fine but the messages to your brain are confused. It affects children in various ways and there is no “typical” child.

There are brain training therapies that help some children (but not all), but if your daughter is diagnosed then the school have to make adjustments. This can include access to quiet spaces, items in classrooms to muffle sound e.g. curtains, cushions, carpets (where practical). Tests and exams can be completed in a separate room. The child is not expected to write down notes from dictation - they are given the notes in advance to annotate. Some children find an FM speaker system useful or are allowed to wear ear plugs / defenders (although that might go down like a lead balloon with a teenage girl).

All children with autism have APD but not every child with APD has autism (my daughter does not). The sensory issues are common with a lot of children with APD.

As a note - unless you live in the M25 you may not be able to get testing on the NHS. Definitely speak to your GP and CAHMS in the first instance. There’s definitely something not quite right for her right now, and being seen to try and help will in itself help her no end.

Have a look at the website Sensory Spectacle, sounds like possibly some characteristics of difficulties with sensory processing.

Talk to the school in the first instance, some children have a pass they can use when it is too noisy, they get to go to a supervised study area.

My DS is 12 and suspected ASD and has issues with noise at school, wanting to be alone and socks amongst other things. He is allowed to leave class when he needs - its an arrangement agreed with SENCO. ASD is linked to self-harming in girls, maybe worth looking into. If she s self-harming she definitely needs more support and adjustments whatever is causing this - I would speak to school SENCO in first instance.

It may not even be a processing disorder but part of general anxiety or even depression... I was the same at school, felt like the dinner hall was just roaring like the sea... I was also a self harmer from around the age of ten...
Could you look at moving her to a smaller school? If that's not a possibility then the school may have things like a quiet room she can go to to eat her lunch or at break time.. the playground/field was another massive issue for me, made me feel sick the amount of noise!

Schools these days should be more understanding. I'm sure they will allow her to sit in the library at break and eat in a smaller room if you explain the issues to them?
Glad you are sorting this you sound like a great supportive mum. Camhs will hopefully be able to shine more light for you on what she might be experiencing.