Hostile initial contact with a Catholic secondary school

[jennylamb1]

We are looking at prospective secondary schools for our DS. He has additional needs and our local catchment secondaries are very poor (bullying, challenging behaviour etc), and we are pretty determined not to place our child there, given that he is emotionally vulnerable, and we feel that they would not provide supportive environments. We are Christians and are interested in a Catholic school, which is very popular, and which based on last year's oversubscription data we would have gained a place at given that we are Christian. I called them to arrange a visit, and the receptionist was extraordinarily hostile. She asked if we were Catholic and if our son had been baptised, and seemed virtually to be putting us through a school admission process before she would allow us a visit. The school is partly funded by the local council, into which I pay my council tax, so surely I am entitled to visit a school which our son may go to in the area? The school lauds itself as 'inclusive' on it's website, but is seemed highly exclusive and even discriminatory to non-Catholics on the phone. Is this even allowed? This is not withstanding the fact that my child is on the SEND register and according to the SEND code of practice 2014, schools should be working with parents and other professionals in order to best support those with disabilities in education. Have others found Catholic schools unwelcoming in this way?

Church schools have specific admissions policies and she was checking if you would even be eligible to get a place, presumably.

Look up their statistics and see how their admissions works.

Sure, I wouldn't even be considering it unless we were Christian, which last year would have made us eligible for a place. I am a little concerned that this first contact shows something of the ethos of the place. We are happy within the Christian faith, however although we've been together for 20 years as a couple, we are not married, so effectively I'm an unmarried mother. I worked in a Catholic primary school where my having a different surname from my child seemed to be a problem for them. In 2019 I presumed that society had moved past that.

Does your child have an EHCP ? If so then in terms of admissions criteria your child would actually come above Catholic (non EHCP) children x

She might just be an unfriendly not nice person. This happens too. This would put my off though. I always go by my impressions, not what I hear of the school

Sounds like just not a nice person. My experience of Catholic schools and additional needs over several years is quite the reverse.

Thanks for the replies, no he hasn't got an EHCP, as his needs are not severe enough. He has an individual education plan for social/communication issues and is on the SEND school register. I hoped that the school would be supportive and nurturing as it as a reputation for excellent pastoral care which is what attracted me to it. I know that school receptionists can be abrupt and curt as they are so overloaded with work. She was trying to get me to attend a parents' evening (they're not until October), however I do find a visit whilst the school is in action much more informative. For autistic children it helps to judge the sensory environment of the school, if it's loud and overwhelming, or quiet and ordered. if there are quiet areas or activities for unstructured times like lunch-time etc. I'd like to see if it would be the right place for him ultimately.

While I understand where you are coming from, it is really quite reasonable of schools to (a) check you meet their minimum threshold admissions criteria (b) invite you to a general meeting for prospective parents as a starting point.

It would be quite difficult to show every parent round that would like an individual visit. I agree that you should go to the open day and take it from there if you are still interested. Some Catholic schools require a Catholic alliegence not just broadly Christian.

You cannot assume a religious school doesn’t have bullying.

You need to check the school admission criteria. It’s not enough to just say you are “Christian”.

Check the schools admission criteria. Most catholic schools have a requirement for baptism in the catholic faith not practicing Christian. She was probably just checking you fit the criteria. All admissions policies should be published on the LEA website.

YABVU and I think you are expecting too much.

Depends where you are, but round here catholic places are very very sought after. 6 catholic primary's are feeders into our nearest catholic secondary.

Criteria is very very strict to get in. Apart from children in care, higher criteria etc, you get siblings, with priest signing form to say regular church attendance, having done holy communion and also baptism.

You saying you're 'christian' just doesn't cut it!!

I think the problem is that so many people fake it in order to get into a faith school the reception staff must be cynical.

Not sure if things have changed in 25 years but my ex was Catholic and couldn't take communion because we were living together unmarried.

The problem may have been you wanted an individual tour on a working school day. Imagine if every parent wanted that. It isn't feasible and it isn't fair on the current students or their teachers. Can you go to the open evening instead? I know you said about why you wanted an individual tour but I should think most parents would also want one all be it for different reasons.

YABU
You want an individual tour. She was checking whether you were even eligible to apply / likely to get a place.
"wanting" a place at the school isn't really relevant if you don't meet the application criteria. You say it is popular yet you would have got a place last year. Was it not oversubscribed with Catholics then?

Personally I think if schools want to apply a faith-based admissions policy, they shouldn't get any public funding at all.

It's embarrassing that we still have state-funded faith schools.

She was checking whether you were even eligible to apply / likely to get a place.

No she wasn’t. She was grilling the OP on their family/faith. The OP’s child might have had an EHCP or be a looked after/previously looked after child which would put them top of the admissions criteria and which is nothing to do with requesting a visit.

When you have a child with SEN I’d say it was vital to see the school on a normal working day.

It's embarrassing that we still have state-funded faith schools.

Why “embarrassing”?

You are being massively unreasonable to think an individual tour during the school day is going to be happening- how disruptive for the pupils and staff! You'll have to go to the prospective parents evening like everyone else

Yes, but if a school normally fills up from its faith, then wanting to know if the child fits the criteria isn’t unusual. CofE schools can be equally choosy. They are, of course, selective schools paid for by the state! Also this DC doesn’t have a statement so the catholic school isn’t going to be named as essential.

I think you have to assume that most schools are busy and chatty. Hopefully not chatty in lessons. Maybe a school with a distinctive “no talking” policy might suit? At least this can be checked prior to the open day and I would also suggest talking to pupils. They are usually very honest about good and not so good things about a school!

Different schools have very different attitudes to potential pupils and parents. In my large secondary school, which is significantly over-subscribed we tend to allow individual visits during the year if it is for a pupil who is going to be joining mid-year but if it is for a pupil arriving into year 7, then we try to encourage parents and prospective pupils to come to the open evening and then to the scheduled open days which are always at the end of September, Early October.
You do need to be very careful of the admission criteria of faith schools because they can be very specific. Most catholic schools expect baptism within a few months of birth and if you do not have a baptismal certificate then it is definitely worth asking the school specifically what would be alternative for showing that your child is of the faith.

I can also understand why some catholic schools, through the priests, can also have issues with you not being married,so again you need to check rather than assume.

She could have just been a rude person. Or a normal person on a bad day. Or someone who might have had at least 10 requests this week from people who are out of catchment, non Catholics etc wanting individual tours for a school they would be bottom of the waiting list for.

A general parent meeting and look round would be an appropriate starting point in my opinion.

Plus, you've said the open evenings arent until October so by that means your child is year 5 now, y6 in 2019/20 academic year and starting secondary in 2020? If you're irritated that a school won't give you a 1-1 tour over a year before you are due to apply then I think you're being quite unfair.

It's embarrassing that we still have state-funded faith schools

Why embarrassing? To whom? Do you think that the rest of the world are laughing at you??

You saying you're 'christian' just doesn't cut it!

The catholic schools we have applied for generally have the admissions policy that after catholic children and looked after children are admitted, remaining places then go to a) any other practicing religion then b) any other child.

So if the o/p regularly attends church and has a letter from her minister, if the school is not oversubscribed with catholic children then she will be next on the list. And it sounds like o/p has done her research and knows last year x number of non- Catholics got in and the distance (usually published on council websites) so can reasonably work out she has a chance of getting in.

O/p I would write to the head and ask if it is the receptionists job to grill enquirers. As it gives a poor impression of the school Etc.

Not the receptionists job to decide who’s worthy or not. I came across similar at an oversubscribed outstanding school- snotty receptionist telling everyone the school was so in demand only x y and z would get in. I thought it was a crap school and sure enough it’s been ofsted downgraded since. Went to the catholic school instead who made us feel very welcome.

where I live in the main church schools have the worst reputation for SEN - their faith doesnt reduce their need to be top of league tables and crow about having religon makes you better - not just selective...

however a friends dc are at an all boys catholic school and they have been good

she may have just been horrible/stressed /tired - but go to as many as you can feasibly get to see or get into and talk to the SEN inclusion people.... If he doesnt have an ehcp ask about safe places or where he can go for a break/quiet time... my ds found secondary quite overwhelming and stressful... and what support they put in for boys -

the school with the best support for SEN is the huge very comprehensive most mixed school - with a very patchy reputation otherwise but their SEN team and all over support is fantastic as is the head.....

ds school was ok but very under resourced so if no ehcp help was declining ....if I was going to go through it again I would look for the school with the SEN people that were happy to talk to you and had support for kids withput an EHCP - irrespective of church or not