Are private schools worth the money?

[Lionfish37]

Hi, this is my first post but I have lurked for a while!

My DD (16) wants to go to boarding school for 6th form, leaving her very good local comprehensive, great extra curricular opportunities and some fabulous friends. She has secured a scholarship and large bursary at the school of her choice but we would still have to pay a significant sum of money which we could probably only just afford.

We like the school she has chosen and am sure she would thrive there, but as neither my husband or I have been privately educated we’re not sure that it’s worth the fees that could be used for her at university or towards a deposit on a house. (The fees would come from inheritance not disposable income so can’t be replenished).

Is it worth investing in her future now or save the money for later in her life?

Thanks!

Hi Lionfish. My advice would be it’s a question of balance. Invariably, you will hear these polarised views of either its a complete waste of money or that it’s a golden ticket for the future. In truth it’s neither. Success will be ultimately be down to the hard work and application your daughter shows. It may be easier to do this within the private sector given the amount of support and facilities she will have access to but she will still need that “fire in the belly” to really achieve.

If you have not had a child at a boarding school, you won’t appreciate the difference it can make,

OP. Yes it can be hard when they are not around but if they have made the decision and embrace their new second home, it can work well for everyone. You have to hold onto the fact you will see her every 2 weeks and she will be enjoying what she is doing.

The reason so many athletes come from independent schools is partially because they offer huge sports bursaries to lure them in the first place! They target likely young people. As if athletes all come from rich families! The children also go to these schools for flexibility regarding high level training camps and facilities at the schools.

Your daughter sounds great.

I would come at this from a different angle. The money is there. She has thought about what she wants in a logical way.

Can you, in all honesty, deny her what she wants.

It depends on school, but the biggest thing DCs selective and academic private gave them was aspiration and confidence. Their peers' parents ran things. The peers aspired to run things. DC know they are as good in many ways, so are happy to aim high, work to achieve goals and are confident enough to deal with set backs. Plus their school was huge fun, especially sixth form, where there were the resources to stretch them in a wider sense. (Sport, debating, societies, leadership positions and so on.)

If I was doing it again, and had the money only to pay for sixth fom or University, I would pay for sixth form. The sixth form gave them the skills to make the most of University.

I would add that mine did not board but were at a boarding school. I would not support boarding for younger age groups - I think they need their families. However many parents dont see that much of older teenagers, who will either be studying, out with friends, playing sport etc, so being at a school where they can do all that is great. (DD used to go into school on Sundays to hang out with friends.)

From Happysummer

I'm a little confused. Surely you have paid to apply, been through a full financial scrutiny, had entrance exams/interviews to attend to get the offer. Why did you allow your daughter to do this if not prepared to let her accept an offer?

Bursary applications don't work like this. You phone up, have a chat with the bursar re; income and assets and they will tell you if you are eligible to apply but not a figure. They can't possibly home visit all bursary applicants prior to testing.

Many more children apply for bursaries than there are funds available so the children have to sit the tests. Bursaries are then usually awarded to the children the schools want the most ie; academic scholars, sports prowess etc. They can be topped up with scholarships. Financial scrutiny happens after the tests usually (or did for all of the independents ds sat). It is a difficult system as, from our experience, you can't help but set your heart on a school, jump through all of the hurdles only to find there is too much of a financial gap to fill in once offered.

I think it is only in very rare cases that the "value add" of a private school is more than the opportunity cost of using the money for it in a different way and those cases tend not to be ones where private education is an option.

I would be reluctant to let her decide if money is the deciding factor for you.

To me it seems a waste, she's obviously bright and able and will do well in any secondary. But it's further education that really requires the financial input from parents, if you envisage her going to university what will you do? Not let her go?

Even if she gets the best secondary education money can buy, if she can't peruse this in higher education will it actually make any difference to her long term career options?

It reads like she has this vision of how fantastic the school will be but be prepared for the fact she might not like it, or be the richest or the cleverest or highest achiever...is it worth it still if she's home sick and struggling?

Yes. The biggest risk with state education is chip in the shoulder syndrome. I’d pay through the nose to avoid that one.

Mayhem, if she goes into higher rather than further education, she will be eligible for student loans. Spending the money at sixth form stage ought to improve her chances of making the most of her higher education.

I think you've made up your mind and you've made the right decision. FWIW I went to a good but not special (and cheap) private secondary and really wanted to transfer to a very prestigious boarding school for sixth form that cost ££££ more. I could see I'd be far more stretched there and was really bored with my current school. My parents couldn't really afford it, but eventually used the money they'd put aside to buy me a car etc (schools were much cheaper then) to pay the fees. Every day I feel grateful to them for listening to me and allowing me to broaden my horizons at such a crucial stage in my development.

Your dd knows what she wants, why she wants it and what the financial consequences will be. There may be moments when everything isn't perfect (I didn't love everything about sixth form) but she sounds robust enough to cope with that. Good luck

I think it's a good school if it supplies the amount of sport she will need.
As she is at a high level most comps can't offer this level.
We were the same with dd and music. There is nowhere else in the country where she would get the same specialist education.
Your dd sounds like mine, determined, driven, ambitious etc.
You have to let them do it if it's what they want.
Mine told me in no uncertain terms that If I tried to stop her she would never forgive me.
She has a huge bursary as do many others at the school, but we still pay on a sliding scale of household income.
If you can afford it, go for it.

I too cannot understand why you allowed her to go through a presumably rigorous application process (and submitted your bursary application materials) if you were not already committed to the idea. It seems a little harsh to leave her uncertain at this point.

Obviously the benefit she gains will depend on the school and on how much effort she puts into school life. There's a lot you can't foresee, of course. But moving for sixth form is often a good idea anyway.

Btw - there was never any question of her being gone 'for the term'. That's not how boarding works these days. All the pupils go home often - it's compulsory!

Allow her to go for it! Negative comments regarding private schools usually come from those who wish they could go there and can't or are not prepared to go without certain luxuries themselves to allow their children to attend independent schools.

My children both went to independent schools and unlike popular belief most parents were normal people working hard to pay the fees! Certainly not landed gentry or lottery winners.

Just one tiny caveat re private sixth form. My dd goes to a local girls' comprehensive. Just round the corner is a GDST school with a similar name. Both had the same number of children apply for Oxbridge this year - 100 per cent of the state school children got an interview, and 50 per cent of the private. All were predicted similar grades etc. I'm afraid I haven't got a breakdown of how those interviewed got on, but I know the state children did very well.

I'm not sure I would have wanted to lose my own 'state school advantage' (I'm also comp and then Oxbridge educated) when it came to university applications, after having slogged through state KS3 and 4 to get to Sixth Form. Just a thought - depending on what she wants to do next and how good the Sixth Form is.

But it sounds like your dd knows what she wants.

Needsmoresleep

But student loans are a nightmare! I wouldn't intentionally opt for that over parental help.

But student loans are a nightmare! I wouldn't intentionally opt for that over parental help.

A nightmare? Seems a little extreme...

Student loans are not a ‘nightmare’ - that’s such a defeatist attitude.
OP, I think it’s a brilliant opportunity for your DD and it sounds like she might regret it if she didn’t take this opportunity. It may not make much difference to her life overall, but then again it might. I would go for it.

Some private schools are worth the money, some aren't. You say you like the school, so does she, I presume you've done your research and your daughter must be clever to have been awarded a bursary. I'd say it sounds as though it's worth the extra expense so go for it! It's only for two years.

Dd2 boarded from 16 on a specialist scholarship. She had an absolute ball, had so many opportunities and got into her course she'd uni of choice. She really blossomed, it was expensive ( when with the scholarship) but we don't regret a penny.

I think you and Dd have made your minds up.
But you say everyone else who got inheritance used it for university funds. How will you paid for your Dd to live at university?
Yes you get loans, but only fully paid for tuition fees and very low income families.
Maintenance costs are means tested, we as a family earn just above cut off, and pay same extras as a family earning over £100000. Even though Dc is at an ex poly with low accommodation costs, they have a shortfall of £267/tem just on rent, let alone food etc.

How will you fund your DD, will she need a part time job?
So taking her away from her uni studies.

Our DC earned money in summer holidays, was lucky that a great aunt gave him some money and he got a charity donation from his ex primary school village education fund.( Only £250 to use on books) Which allows him to study full time and play his chosen sport, low level BACS league 4, but still takes 4 hours of training and most Wednesday afternoons/days.

Thank you everyone for your advice.

For those questioning why we let DD go through the application process without knowing whether we'd be happy for her to go was because her going was dependent on her receiving a scholarship and a bursary at the level that enabled her to go. DD was always aware that there would be a chance that she wouldn't be able to go because the finances didn't work, and my reservations now are that the offer is very generous but still slightly more than the figure we were hoping to pay.

However, following lots of talking about the pros and cons, DD has confirmed that she really wants to go and we've said Yes. Exciting times ahead even though we're not naïve enough to assume that it guarantees a better future. That will be down to DD to make the most of every opportunity and not take a fancy to too many of the boys...!!!

"But student loans are a nightmare! I wouldn't intentionally opt for that over parental help."

Ds was friendly with a boy who did a reciprocal year from the US to the UK & his view was that , largely , the loan system in the UK is one many US students would envy.

This is not to say it is easy for all - I am not saying that - but there are those from ( in this case the US ) who actually think our system is much easier with loans etc than elsewhere. I do appreciate the loans may not cover everything, may not be a very fine tool , and may need to be topped up by parents or by students working during holidays. But - I ( with other posters) would not say university fees / loans are a nightmare

So Op , given your daughter has such a strong view , congratulations and I wish her all the very best for the next couple of years.

The student loan system in the US is very different. A student from a poor family may qualify for loans from the federal and/or state governments, government subsidized loans from private lenders, or purely private loans. Many, if not most, student loans in the US have an initial repayment schedule of 10 years after you leave school (whether or not you graduate). Unless you are quite a high earner, this will be more than 9% of your income. Student loans in the US also cannot be discharged in a bankruptcy and most are not forgiven or canceled with the mere passage of time. There have been stories of some unfortunate people being pursued for their loan repayments after their retirement age.

The UK system doesn't seem that bad by comparison. But I can see that, for some people, it's worse than what you used to have.

I'd add that if you play sport at a high level, it's an outside club that provides your key coaching and matches, not a school. There are more sporting opportunities in indepdents generally, but the stars are almost always involved in outside clubs too. I wouldn't pay the school fees for that alone.

I would make sure she was very clear on the amount of debt she is likely to accrue at uni if you have little to contribute towards living expenses or fees. She needs to make the decision in receipt of full information.

If then, all things considered, she's still determined this is the best use of the money, then perhaps let her choose. Personally, I'd rather use the money for uni and to keep debt lower or for a house deposit. I'd feel the extra value added by an Independnet schools,mwhilst being present was not enough to warrant the cost nor the loss of benefit from lower uni debt or having a house deposit in a few years.

And I assume any bursary is dependent on getting certain grades at GCSE? Therefore, you won't know for sure until the summer whether she has a place or the bursary.

Keep an open mind. Even if you accept (and you sound decided and not really open to alternatives) then you can change your mind still. I think it's right that a 16 year old has input into the decision, but think parents should still have the final say here. If you've decided it's the best use of the money, fair enough.