Bursary/Assisted place/Funding for Private school

[1Brummiemummy]

Please can anyone help? My DD has been offered a place after sitting the entrance examination for a local private school. I had a visit from the school bursary however we received a letter Christmas Eve stating we’ve been unsuccessful in gaining any sort of financial assistance. My question is what should I do next? I really don’t want to give up this opportunity for my daughter lightly. Should I phone the school when they’re back open? Should I ask if there is a reserve list or beg for reconsideration? Does anyone know of any charities or places that fund this sort of thing? The school is outstanding and has good amenities, it would be a privilege to send my DD. We have until March to accept or reject the place. My DD is currently in state school & literally had less than 2 months prep so she’s done so well, I feel like I’m letting her down if I can’t get the funds. She loves the school too :-(

This will sound really harsh but the school has told you that you will not receive financial assistance. They will not reconsider unless your financial circumstances have changed.

Every parent wants the best for their child but if you can’t afford it either through income, the sale of assets, remortgaging or a change in lifestyle then she cannot go.

You have to move on.

There are charities but they either mainly help families with significant problems e.g severe disabilities/very serious life limiting health problems or parent(s) in prison or something similar or are aimed at specific groups and these are usually school specific and detailed on their websites, DC's of clergy being the most common.
You could contact the school and ask if there's a reserve list and could your DD go on it but I wouldn't hold out much hope so I agree with. Zodlebud I don't think the school will reconsider and Im afraid unless you can come up with another way of funding it you need to move on.

If you applied for a competitive bursary, then one may become available if someone that has been offered one declines a place. It does happen, though how often will vary between schools.

If you've been assessed on your income and not eligible for that reason, then you won't become eligible unless your circumstances change.

It may also be that the size of the bursary that you would need is bigger than the school offers for example few offer a 100% bursary even amongst the very wealthy schools preferring to give smaller bursary to more children (and get some fees in) or they simply don't have enough money to give you the size of bursary you would need.
You can query it with the school but as I said above don't hold out much hope.

If you haven't met their criteria for funding, you won't get any.

I had to remove my DD from a highly academic private school at which the teachers said she was in the top 5% in her year academically, when her dad lost his job and stopped paying his share of the fees. I couldn't afford 100% myself. I asked the school if there was any help available and the answer was no, because I earned over £50k (south east, also have another child and was single parent so couldn't afford £20k p.a. School fees for DD). So our circumstances were: child already settled in the school, known to be a top performer, but no financial help. Private education is a business and the school made it very clear to me that they were sorry, but if I couldn't pay, there were plenty of other families on the waiting list who could.

DD goes to a state school now. I'd love to say she's doing as well as she was before, but unsurprisingly, she isn't!

Private education really is a luxury for anyone, not a right for "able" children.

The reality is despite claims on many schools websites few have enough spare cash sloshing around to offer significant bursaries to all who apply for them. Secondly many bursaries are awarded according to success in entrance exams i.e the higher the score a child scores in the entrance exam the larger the bursary offered so just because your DD has a place doesn't necessarily mean that the school your applying too will offer a very significant bursary that may be limited to the child(ren) that gets the highest results and apply for a bursary obviously this vary year on year. Schools usually also take into consideration existing children applying for bursaries 1wanda1 clearly had a bad experience but many will give bursaries to existing pupils who fall on hard times over new pupils especially to those in yr 10/11 when moving would be very disruptive.

As a basic rule fo thumb the very big names are likely to be more generous as they have significant assets, few or usually no vacancies, high fees and wealthy old pupils who are happy to donate to the bursary pot. They also seem to feel more of a more of an obligation to go "needs bind" often because this reflect their history.

You qualified for no assistance so even if they relented and have you a 10% bursary would you then be able to afford the fees. If not what sort of number would you need 25%, 50%, 100%?

I think you have to be realistic about the outcome here- did your daughter sit for a grammar school place as a back up?

Hi, I think this may be for my dd’s school (by the university?) - or is it the other girls’ school?

My dd has a bursary - for other posters’ info, there is a scale of fees according to parental income, if you’re lucky enough to get a bursary. I think income levels go up to about £70k. It’s very transparent so the OP must qualify on an income basis or she wouldn’t be hoping for one - but obviously not all those who qualify by income get awarded one.

Some girls get put on the bursary waiting list - there’s another poster on here who’s on the list. I would assume if you’re not even on the waiting list you probably won’t be in with a chance but it’s worth ringing up to find out.

If you can’t afford it I think you need to forget about it. Am I right in thinking your daughter didn’t get a grammar place? Make sure you’re on those waiting lists and after Christmas of year 7 ring them up to go back on the list - from Jan of year 7 they have to take a new test for any spaces that come up. There are always places in year 7 and 8. And of course she’ll get another chance come sixth form.

We’d be looking for a high percentage bursary hence why I don’t think we’ve qualified because we’re asking a lot. If I’d have known sooner I possibly may of prepared my DD earlier on in the hope she got an scholarship/bursary. I’m aware it’s sliding scale on income and not on merit however I assume they give out bursaries to the more able to help with their results surely. DD didn't score high enough for grammar, she had no tuition at all before the test & didn’t complete all the questions. We have a half decent local state school which I’m not sure she’ll get into & we possibly might be moving (out of my control) hence anywhere we move to will be classed as a late application and/or place will be withdrawn. It would be ideal as the school is central (not Birmingham) so whereever we move to I know she can get the train or bus there. Besides the school is perfect & as I said I’m not giving up easily & exploring all options. We have gone/going through a bit of a rough time which I’d rather not disclose. I didn’t mention this to the bursar as I didn’t want to appear like it would affect my DDs performance in school & to be honest I’m quite proud which I can’t help but be. I know I will have to face reality at some point but I want to know I’ve done my very best in trying for her. I will phone the bursar & try not to sound desperate as much as I am Thanks for everyone’s feedback some is harsh but I expect that! Hears hoping for a miracle, someone on these threads must know routes to help.

Sorry what I meant was we do qualify for a Bursary but just didn’t get one. Reason being demand for bursaries far exceeds what they have in the pot basically.

Your daughter did well but perhaps there were others who scored a lot higher who also needed bursaries? It can't do any harm to phone and ask for the decision to be reconsidered.

It is possible another pupil being offered a partial bursary may turn it down , it may not be enough for the family to afford balance of fees for example or they get a better offer elsewhere or a chosen state grammar place in March. However be prepared to be in a similar position, ie you need £x and only get awarded £y, which is still too low for you to make up the shortfall. By all means ask the bursar to remain on the list but unfortunately bursary funds are usually finite and unless a single pupil is exceptional awards tend to be made at a lower level across more pupils. You may find the situation changes in March but realistically you need to accept a good state alternative.

In my experience, they will offer places but no bursary to those who scraped a pass but didn't do particularly well.

My Dd and a friend both took the exam for an independent school. Similar financial circumstances, my DD got a large bursary and and offer and her friend only got an offer.

Her parents went to plead her case (her sister was at the school on a bursary already) and they did come up with some money for her.

You need to be sure you can afford the rest of the fees. Bursary's for someone who is not exceptionally clever are unlikely to be more than 80% at the MOST. Even with a 95% bursary I pay over £200 a month once you factor in lunches, music, trips.

I'm sorry but it seems unlikely. If your DD didn't make grammar it's unlikely she will be of the material that the school want to fight for.

If it’s the school my daughter is at (from other threads) then the amount of any bursary will be determined by their income - so the OP will know exactly how much the fees would be if they were offered a bursary. However if she’s not on the bursary waiting list, it seems unlikely she’ll get one. Having said that, it’s possible all the bursary offers get turned down this year and the waiting list people also turn them down so I’m sure it’s worth going back to them and asking to be considered if they do have bursary money spare in Jul/August. But they won’t just give a random amount - we’re entitled (due to income) to a 75% bursary. If that’s what the OP would get, the school would need to have £9kpa in the bursary fund unused after all places were turned down.

I don't think people are being harsh - they are just being truthful and realistic. Bursary's are given to children of low income families who score very highly on the entrance test and whom the school rate as being an asset to the school. The fact that your daughter failed the 11+ would indicate she achieved a low pass so didn't qualify for a bursary as funds where allocated to children who scored higher marks. I am sorry if this sounds blunt but that is the most realistic explanation. You do need to move on and follow up on your plan b and make the best of any state school you are offered.

I’ve clarified in my previous comment I’m aware other children may have scored higher & to be honest who knows how well she done? She didn’t achieve a high enough mark for grammar school because she wasn’t tutored to answer questions in a timely manner so missed some on the papers. It does not mean she’s not highly academic & private schools work differently i.e creative writing. My thread is asking if anyone or know of someone that has experienced this & turned it around? Not all Bursaries are given on merit. My DD was merely tutored for 2 months previous to the private school examination not the grammar school not at all for grammar, we went in blind. It’s not King Edwards crazycrofter :-) I’m going to call them Monday to see if we can be put on the reserve list. I’ve just had an email from an outside bursary scheme to say I can apply for 2020/21 They’ve also given advice where to turn elsewhere in the meantime which I’m now looking into. Here’s hoping

I expect harsh comments on here it mumsnet

Ah, ok! Then my comments about how the bursary works may be completely wrong! Did you hear back from KE?

I used to audit bursary applications for several well known London schools and bursaries were, without fail, only given to those children who could bring something to the school either academically, in sports, music or the arts, or they had an exceptional reason e.g. a parent dying midway through their education. Usually the bursary would “top up” a scholarship the child had been given. You are right, OP, that bursaries are not technically granted based on merit (as opposed to scholarships which are), but in essence they are. I have never seen one offered to a child who scraped into a school who couldn’t bring something extra. Otherwise how on earth do you decide who gets one?

Also remember that girls schools, even the very famous old ones, have much smaller endowment pots from which they can allocate funds. Eton and Harrow have large numbers of boys receiving very high fee deductions each year. It’s not the same at Wycombe Abbey.

I absolutely understand that you want your daughter to go to this school. I understand you would do anything to get her in and don’t blame you for trying. But ask yourself, if I was the one making the decisions on money, what would make me choose my daughter over the one who got full marks on the entrance test? Or the one who plays the piano at Grade 7 and cello at Grade 6? Or the girl representing the county in hockey? Every child is unique and brings something to the school community. When it comes to money though, private schools want to invest in those children they can show off about.

Your daughter has a wonderful supportive mother, that is evident. But please do be realistic. It might seem like the end of the world at present but you do have other options. Try taking the 12+ or 13+ for the Grammar - giving yourself a whole year to prepare.

Work on saving like crazy over the next five years to send her to private school for sixth form.

Think about her strengths and work on them over the next two years and try again at the private school for the 13+.

Work on all options but your priority should be preparing your daughter for going to your state secondary in September. You might have a nice surprise but it is looking unlikely.

Coming from me who failed the 11+, went to a Birmingham comp and then onto Cambridge. All down to my hard work and great parental support - the school I went to didn’t define me.

Just a thought.. Have you tried for any of the 2nd/3rd tier independent schools who are keen to increase their place on the GCSE tables?

Of the children I know who got scholarships and/or bursaries (like @Zodlebud says they are often combined), they either got one of a tiny number for top schools because they excelled in some way, or they got the help in a less prestigious school that was looking to increase the results more generally. It might be too late now though if you haven't already gone down that route.

I would start talking up your local state school now though, as that's the more likely outcome. I don't think people have been harsh here - just realistic because bursaries are few and far between for girls.

What can you afford? Can you remortgage?

Amongst my peers, we have rarely seen or heard of anyone receiving the full advertised bursary or scholarship rates.
The one exception was a family whose DD was exceptionally bright and was offered both grammar and Indie places.
The parents were on a very low income and would qualify for a 100% bursary, but they were offered 50% together with a 50% academic scholarship, which obviously amounts to 100% of fees being paid.
I didn't understand why they just did not offer a full bursary, but I have been told that the bursary and scholarship pots were separate, plus to agree with Zodlebud's comment, I guess they wanted to reward for merit as she clearly did exceptionally well in the entrance exam.
I also knew a tutor who taught at a Saturday school and she said that her students who received bursaries, also received academic scholarships, so clearly they had to bring something to the table and not just not come from a low income household.
Not how a lot of these schools advertise their fee remission, but I guess this is the reality.

The bursar explained to me the school was considering us for Bursary hence why she was sitting on my sofa. I live in council accommodation so cannot remortgage & I have no assets at all. A family member said they could maybe put some towards fees but not a lot. It just irratates me because I’ve only ever been told by her teachers she’s a role model pupil & always tries hard to please. She’s done moc sats which she would have passed with flying colours & in greater depth. I just feel she would be an asset to the school & it’s so suited to her. (She does stage school & she’s already played a part in a film)
I’m prepared to send her to state school. We looked at a few but our local one she wasn’t all too keen on but could see she was putting on a brave face for me. I took her on a walk yesterday and walked to the local state school she will most likely get a place at. Little awkward though as we’re most likely be moving due to other problems (another story) & the school doesn’t have good transport links. And to top it off I don’t have a choice of where we move to nor when when we move so preferences could change & end up with a late state secondary application.
Appreciate everyone’s views thanks

I once worked in a place where there were some rather pushy parents.

One didn’t get the school place they wanted for their child so the mum set out a list of ‘pluses’ for the school with regards to taking their child, noting the families race, county of origin, parents backgrounds/careers, nature of the child (but she was at nursery so not exactly Gold duke of Edinburgh and volunteering in a local cat shelter). In reality they were a very wealthy boho family from America (New York I think) with very high falutin’ careers but pushy as anything. They almost had the school chasing them to send their child.

Think about what your child will ‘bring’ to the school - so any sporting,music or arts achievements or talents? Maybe she has outside interests and hobbies?

I also know a parent who wrote a portfolio for her DC this included every badge he”d won at Cubs his class position in every test, since starting in reception, every nice comment ever made about him by games coaches teachers etc, including dates when they were made, details of every time his cricket team/football team one how many runs/goals he scored or balls he caught etc. It wouldn’t be my way of doing things but he did get a scholarship at yr 3 so I guess it worked. Interestingly at yr 9 he didn’t get a scholarship despite his mums best efforts and aspirations.
I’m not bein unkind here OP and I’m sure you’re DD is lovely but lots of parents would say their DC is a “role model pupil and always tries hard to please” that she would be “asset to the school” and that it “suited her”. Children coming from prep schools (and may also need a bursary as some parents scrimp and scape to send their DCs to prep but can only continue if their DC gets a scholarship/bursary) are often very well prepared by their schools for entrance exams/how to show themselves off, They will have music exams recognised drama qualifications, ballet qualifications may be playing a sport at county level etc etc. At the end of the day the school has to decide between lots of children who will be an asset to the school. Also it’s not an objective decision when DS was at prep two talented artists failed to win art scholarships one was already an international prize winner (although his style was unconventional), another extremely talented musician (according the music master the most talented he’s ever seen) failed to get a music scholarship. I suspect that unless you have an unlimited bursary pot and as stated up thread this really only applied to a few very big name boys schools who do offer stand alone bursaries but these schools are usually super selective so their applicants for the bursary fund are high achievers, a school has lots of deserving children who will be asset to the school to choose from and it’s hard to make a decision.
I also think the size of bursary you want will have had an impact on their decision as I said above most schools would rather give out smaller bursaries to more children.
Thirdly maybe the school were worried that even if they gave you a significant reduction in fees you wouldn’t be unable to afford the inevitable extras that arise every term, ours were between £250 - £500 per term double this when paying for public examinations and I know parents at other schools would say theirs were significantly higher. Uniform can often be expensive even second hand, trips etc are a regular occurrence, for example my DS often went to an exhibition, then dinner in a restaurant and to the theatre afterwards his school (a big mane boys school) seemed to be able to organise these things extraordinarily cheaply but again I know from friends at other schools this was not always the case. In some schools you pay for all extra curricular activities and participation is sometimes compulsory you sometimes also pay fircthings like the cost of taking your child to a sporting event. Many subjects include residential trips. No schools wants to have to ask your DC to leave because your not paying the bill maybe the school felt that however much financial support they gave you the fees were realistically still out of your reach and that they were worried that your DD would end up leaving in the long run because you could afford it. I’ve seem this happen to others. Could you afford the extras if you suddenly got an unexpected bill e.g. your car broke down maybe the school felt you couldn’t. Five to seven years of paying school fees is very draining on your finances, every school function I ever attended even the wealthiest of parents would moan about the fees.

Do speak to the schools bursar but I think sadly you may have to accept that it’s not going to happen.