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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Your experiences - Y7 transfer

10 replies

Sadeyes445 · 10/12/2018 22:35

Thinking of looking into transferring my unhappy DD from an outstanding SS school to mixed secondary. She will not know anyone from primary again and I’m worried she’ll feel lonely and isolated or worse get bullied.

Please can you give me your experiences of how your DC settled into secondary (again!) as a transferred Y7 pupil. Were children welcoming to your DC? I’m feeling heartbroken and anxious about making another mistake.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sadeyes445 · 11/12/2018 07:15

AnyoneXmas Sad

DD woke up saying she doesn’t want to go in school today, I’m feeling pretty stressed about all this.

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SavoyCabbage · 11/12/2018 07:38

We moved from when dd was in year seven so she started secondary in January knowing absolutely nobody at all and years behind in all her subjects. She had every disadvantage going. Funny accent, not white in a really white area, anaphylactic,no clue of British history or geography etc.

After we looked around the school and found there was a place I asked for a quick word with the deputy head, who was showing us round, and said "can you put a bit of thought into who you ask to show her the ropes when she starts" as I thought it really mattered that she was going to find some like minded friends on the first day. Rather than whoever was closest to,the door when she arrived.

On the first day I took dd to the office and a girl swished in. All hair and handbag on the crook of her arm and whisked her off. I was terrified all day. I was sick with worry. I went to pick her up at three and she opened the car door and said 'I've joined the netball team. Can I go to practice? It finishes at four.' And that was it.

She's still really good friends with the swishy haired girl and she's got countless other friends. She joined every club and she's right in the thick of it. My younger dd who went into year four and is much more or a confident person struggled and I think it's because the older one had all of these different opportunities at secondary to join different things and get to know like minded people. Not just the people who are in your class.

Alsoplayspiccolo · 11/12/2018 08:30

We moved our DD in the opposite direction, from co ed comp to single sex selective indie at the end of year 7. All her friends from primary moved with her to the comp, and she only knew one person in the indie but she settled really well and has never looked back ( she's in year 10 now and still friends with the girls she met on the first day).

Original poster
Sadeyes445 · 11/12/2018 14:43

Thank you I really appreciate your responses. I have to work out next steps whether to take her out as I don’t want to make a mistake and cause her more distress.

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Khash · 11/12/2018 17:00

Hi

So my DD has got into Plumstead Manor school. It wasn't one of our school choices. Honest opinions about the school please. This is stressing me no bounds. DD has been sitting at home for a month now since we moved back from our country. Please help.

RitaTheBeater · 11/12/2018 18:35

Khash, you will need to start your own thread. Put the name of the school in the title and you should get some help.

Sad, why is your dd not enjoying school? Have you talked to anyone at the school? Is she joining in any after school clubs? If not I'd insist that she tries this before you take any further steps to move her.

MaisyPops · 13/12/2018 19:29

In year transfers aren't hugely uncommon but are less common in some areas.
Schools are equipped to manage them. It is often more stressful for parents than students.
Emphasise the positives, discuss what they'd like to so in their new school.

Good luck.

Missmillsie · 13/12/2018 20:35

My son started a mix secondary at yr7 and moved to a ss school by the November half term. He has settled in beautifully and teachers and his peers say it feels like he’s been there from the start and even he feels that way now. Good luck with what you decide! Xx

RedSkyLastNight · 14/12/2018 07:54

I don't think it will remotely be a problem, especially so early in Y7. The DC are still getting to know any and many won't have made any firm friends (my DS wasn't really settled until almost Easter time and that was despite knowing lots of DC from his primary school).

Original poster
Sadeyes445 · 15/12/2018 18:19

I’m anxious about her all the time. She has joined school activities but she says she feels out of the cliques as loads came together from same primary schools. It’s hard watching her at weekends, she says she’s fine and she’s always been ‘quirky’ but I don’t think another six years at this school might be healthy for her or me😰

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