Lost items - what would you do?

[Dancergirl]

Dd has just started Year 7. She has recently been diagnosed with high functioning autism so it's been a bit of a stressful time. She's settling in slowly and seems to be making friends.

Last Friday she came home and said she had lost her pencil case and water bottle. The pencil case (and contents) were brand new and included an expensive pen (Lamy). The water bottle we treated her to during Year 6, it's a Chilly bottle, so again expensive.

They weren't named - I did suggest to dd that we name them but we never did and to be fair to dd, she had been pretty good at primary with keeping her things safe.

Apparently she left them in a classroom and when she went back later she couldn't find them. During this week she's checked lost property and I also told her form tutor.

Tomorrow she's got that lesson again in the same classroom so I told her to look thoroughly and check in cupboards etc. But after a week I'm starting to think they're not going to turn up.

What would you do about replacing them? I do feel a bit sorry for her, obviously a new pencil case and stationery is mandatory at the start of Year 7! She loved choosing new things to start school and she's only had them for 2 weeks. So I don't know how harsh or otherwise to be. I do want to teach her responsibility and consequences but she does seem genuinely sorry and she made a mistake.

WWYD?

Buy her another one but a bit cheaper and get her to name them with her tutor group. Moving around lessons 5 times a day it can be very easy to misplace things so I would not be harsh on her at all.

Definitely named with tutor group on.

Would you replace the water bottle too?

I would replace them with less expensive items. And, obviously, name them! Does she actually need a water bottle?

She does really, the alternative is to buy disposable bottles of water or expensive drinks from the canteen.

Yes I would.

But probably a cheaper one to take to school.

Name anything you aren’t happy to lose. Always.

Go up to the school and ask if you can look at lost property with your child and the receptionist. You will be amazed by what is in there- including very possibly your child's belongings. There will be expensive coats, bags, shoes, sports equipment, trainers, glasses, phones, jewellery as well as pencil cases, drinks bottles, and other bits and pieces. Most children never go and look.

Definitely buy cheaper versions and name them but don't expect them to stay with her!

DS had all his stuff named. So far he's mislaid (because most of them have found their way back), a sports fleece (that's never been found), a polo shirt (that was found three days later - the school gave him a lost property Tshirt to wear for the rest of the day) and the best of all, his gym bag with all his PE kit including trainers in it. He left it in the canteen at lunch time and realised at the end of the school day! We had three teachers running about looking for it after he'd tried lost property and I emailed his form teacher asking if there was anywhere else it could be. Finally turned up two days later. The bag had his name in big letters at each end and on the top!

I just think they have so much going on in their heads with new friends, new teachers, finding their way around that things just go missing. One of his friends managed to lose a trainer on a day when they didn't even need to bring in their PE kit - it was found in the drama suite and another friend left trainers in English, his PE top in Humanities and his PE shorts in French (he'd buried his book bag etc under his kit after PE so took stuff out to find the things he needed for the lessons and didn't put things back properly)!

Get labels printee with her name and form on (easy2name if your friend here) :-) I stuck them on everything when DD started Yr7. Literally everything.
I would buy her new stuff - but cheaper versions.

Check with the school as they may have been put somewhere by the teacher.

If they don't turn up then I would just buy her the same things again (obviously if you can afford them) as you said she seems sorry and it's mistake. Put her name on this time though and I think she sounds like she will be more careful from now on.

We've been quite lucky, we have only lost a couple of calculators and a bit of stationery and my son is in Year 10. Some kids in our family have lost coats, numerous PE kits with trainers and football kits included.

You need to label everything
I wouldn't replace the Lamy until later in the term - a berol will do for now

Thank you. They have to use a fountain pen at school so a berol won't do. And sometimes cheap pens are a false economy - my oldest dd has used her Lamy for a good 5 years.

I am generally a good labeller, all her uniform is named with sew-in name tapes and all PE kit etc. I just didn't think other items were so important especially as dd had been quite good at primary with not losing stuff. But as you say, it's a different kettle of fish at secondary , so much to think about.

I would replace with cheaper, but with the promise that if something is not lost for X weeks (eg by Easter) you will replace with fancier stuff.

The moving around is a massive thing is Secondary. DD is y9 and still finds it all quite stressful.

I label it all - the pens/pencils/ruler/protractor/glue

I definitely will next time! But I suppose things can still go missing/get nicked even with naming.

I've found some cheaper Lamy pens on Ebay, not the colour dd wanted but it will have to do.

teen that's a good idea, I thought about maybe buying her a new water bottle for Xmas if she's careful up till then.

Thanks all

It's definitely worth forcing the labelling issue and ensuring that anything that could be left somewhere (coat, jumper, pencilcase etc.) also has the form group written on e.g. Jessica Jones 7J. I get DD1 to include my phone number on items that could be left somewhere other than at school (coat, bag, bus pass, musical instruments) so they're labelled with J Jones 07942 123 456. Her doorkeys are even on a keyring that has my number engraved onto it. My theory is that most things find their way back eventually so clear labels help speed that up.

Odd that they make them use a fountain pen as they are not allowed on GCSE papers.

Eh?? Oldest dd did GCSEs last year and she used a fountain pen.

water bottle - I would just use a disposable bottle and refil it then replace every so often. No need for fancy bottles at school.

Everything else - yy just buy cheapest Wilko items. Fountain pen is bizarre, does everyone bring one? (When I was a teacher I regularly handed out half a dozen pens a lesson - luckily a Bic biro was fine!!)

Dancergirl exam boards don’t like them because they are worried they won’t scan as well.

Is this a private school? I never heard of fountain pen being compulsory never even heard of fountain pens until I came to Britain

(yes I would buy her cheap replacements & label them up)

DD had all her brand new PE kit stolen on her second day at Secondary . We made a huge fuss about it and eventually it turned up. Someone had taken it, used it, and dumped it. Everything had been named. She had her shoes stolen as well, when at PE - never turned up. No idea where they went (also named). She had to wear her trainers home.

We used to have to use fountain pens at school way back in the 80s. Didn't know some schools still insisted on them. They were slow when taking notes, and I always got smudges on everything.

No, not a private school. It did specify a fountain pen on the equipment list, how much they enforce it I don't know. Dd has used those Pilot rollerballs in the past but they are expensive and need replacing frequently. Berols don't last five minutes.