Moving in year 8

[sparklingbubbles123]

Dd has just started year 8 but she didn’t really enjoy year 7 for the last few months. Her whole primary went to the same secondary school and she had quite a few friends at primary. However, her 2 closest friends have left her for other, more ‘popular’ friends and ignore her at school. She doesn’t know who to sit with at lunch so she says she goes from group to group but she isn’t close to any of them, she doesn’t feel included and doesn’t think they are the ‘right’ friends for her e.g. their interests are different to her’s etc. She’s thinking of moving school but the one she’s at now is the best in the county with the best results (exuleding private). There is another secondary about 25 minute walk away that has been rated ofsted ‘outstanding’ and has similar results to the one she’s at now. I think she likes the fact that it’ll be a fresh start as she only knows 3 people there. She’s willing to ride her bike to school as I can’t take her there by car everyday. The school we’re looking at does has 3 available spaces. She’s just quite shy so I’m worried she might not make any close friends there and the move would be pointless. She does do netball outside of school and is friends with the 3 girls she knows at the school we’re looking at. I think we’ll see how she is till half term and make a final decision then. Anyone else been in a similar situation or got any advice?

if she is keen to move then i would go and have a look round the school. moving from year 7 to eight is always tough though. my dd was in a similar situation, but she soon made new friends in her classes and so began to hang out with them at lunch etc. all the best to you and your dd

We moved our daughter in year 8, from a secondary that she'd moved to with all her primary school year group, to a girls ' school where she knew one person. She's never looked back.
In your daughter's case, my only reservation would be that she'd struggle to break into existing friendship groups, if the 3 girls she knows don't gather her into their group once she's at the school.

My son moved to new school for start of year 8.

Complicated situation I've discussed on here and he also has SN and social difficulties.

It's been the making of him. I actually never thought he'd possess the confidence he has now.

If she wants it then try it. Doesn't sound like it'll be worse.

I think both you & your DD both need to manage your expectations. Because you’ve said your DD is quite shy, so there is no guarantee she is going to make any more friends than she currently has.

Personally, I wouldn’t move my DD just for not having enough friends / not belonging to a group. Instead I would give her advice on how to make new friends and expand her interests by joining clubs.

I speak from experience - my DD went from a private school to a state in a totally different area in London - where she obviously knew no one.

She made friends but doesn’t belong to one particular group or have a BFF, which I personally think is a good thing.

Because it enables her to develop her own thoughts / ideals rather than follow the crowd, compared to how it was in during year 7 when she was in a large group.

My DD has just moved schools into y8 and made lots of friends at new school. However, friendships do change and friends do have different interests, you could maybe try talking to her form tutor initially see if they can help within current school. Appeared to be easier to make friends in y8 than y7 as you become an extra friend and the groups have settled more.

Sorry for the really late reply I’ve been super busy. But thank you for the replies. We’ve decided we’re going to have a look around the school just to get a real image of what it’s like. We have spoken to different teachers but none of them have been a huge help with Dd. I think she really wants to move as whenever I mention the new school she gets really excited.