17 year old daughter possibly dropping out of A levels

[cherry1970]

I'm really struggling with my 17 year daughter. She did fantastically at GCSEs but struggled at 6th form, mainly due to her social anxiety and friendship issues. By June she had more or less stopped going to school. She asked to move to a nearby college and we arranged this. However now the time has come to register at college and she's refusing and says maybe she'll go back to school. I can't contact school so don't know if this is possible. It's impossible to talk to her, she's rude, stroppy and angry. She stays out late every night and complains about everything at home. She's had councillng in the past but won't talk about going back.

It sounds to me as though she needs a break and no pressure. If she has time and space she will eventually work out what she wants and needs to do.

My son was the same and he worked it all out for himself but had no pressure from us (we'd given up), only support. He is now highly successful and looks back at that time as a very peaceful space which he needed.

Some just sail through and others don't but they are all individuals. You daughter may surprise you in due course so be kind.

Not unusual to have a year or more off after A levels, why not before?

"Not unusual to have a year or more off after A levels, why not before?"

Because this is what the law says:

You can leave school on the last Friday in June if you’ll be 16 by the end of the summer holidays.

You must then do one of the following until you’re 18:

stay in full-time education, for example at a college
start an apprenticeship or traineeship
spend 20 hours or more a week working or volunteering, while in part-time education or training

Although I'm not sure I agree with it.

Where is she stopping out late every night?

Why can’t you contact the school?

There doesn't seem to be anyone at school, I suppose as it's the holidays. I have emailed and tried calling.
She's 18 in October so she probably can drop out.
She's out with friends, boyfriend, in parks or their cars mainly.

So she wouldn't go to school because of social anxiety and friendship issues, yet she's out late every night until late with friends?

I suspect you might be being sold a pup here OP

I was wondering about that as well BitOut, unless said friends are not at the same school. When DD had friendship issues she really had no-one to go out every night with, or a boyfriend.

It's different friends who are at local colleges, doing apprenticeships, waiting to restart somewhere else.... Her best friend started 6th form with her but they had a big falling out and my daughter felt everyone turned against her.

"Her best friend started 6th form with her but they had a big falling out and my daughter felt everyone turned against her."

That happened with DD in year 10. It was awful at the time. The girl in question is no longer friends with anyone she influenced to dislike DD.

If she's well enough to be out every night she's well enough to be at work or in education by day. Let her sort out what she's doing and where and be supportive, just be clear than sitting round at home doing nothing isnt an option.

Our Dd dropped out of school at sixteen, before the leaving age was raised to massage the unemployment figures.
She went to college a few years later and now has two degrees and is working on her master’s. School never suited her but she did well when she was motivated to get qualifications.

that's worrying.
agree, let her know she either works or she studies