Son been randomised to German in Y7 despite me requesting french

[whataboutbob]

As background, I am a French speaker , my gran was french and I grew up in a French speaking country. The language is important to me. I tried teaching my kids but was unsuccessful, for various reasons including DS1 ‘s resistance and various heavy family responsibilities elsewhere. DH does not speak french. Anyway , DS2 has been positive toward the language and so in advance of him staring in September I have been communicating with secondary school since March and requesting that he be assigned to French as MFL. So today they tell me he’s been assigned to German ( as was DS1). I am very disappointed .
After being upset about it, I’m trying to think of ways to ensure he gains some linguistic skills. I’m thinking of booking him on an immersive course in French next summer, while we holiday in France . I know I can speak french with him but it usually goes wrong, he reverts to English very quickly and it just feels artificial if I insist. Any ideas?

YABU tutor groups are allocated to languages, not individuals.

It is almost always the other way around, a child who has a parent speaker of a language being dissatisfied at being placed in a class learning that language. Which make sense, because if you already know some of a language, and have a parent speaker, why waste your time at school on it? Children in this situation have a genuine complaint.

Your child has been allocated to a tutorgroup learning a specific language he doesn't know, which is what he should be spending his precious education time on, not something he does know, or can easily learn at home.

So from an logistical point of view, and a personal one, the school is in the right

If you speak fluent French then the best place for him to learn French is at home. He wont become fluent in French at school doing a GCSE.

Does he not get the choice to change to/or add French next year. Most secondary schools seem to do that.

I do think your anger should be directed at your dh not the school.

I'd swap him to another class. I've found this year DS has needed a lot of help in languages and being only able to speak French (and not Spanish) has hindered him. DS is not good at languages and his end of term grade for French was an 8 and Spanish only a 5.

He'll make new friends anyway.

Languages in school are very badly taught. Hardly worth bothering with. Send him on 1 long or several short stays in France. He'll be miles ahead of the other kids.

Just move him next year. In Yr7 it'll be way too easy for him if he has a background in it, they'll mostly be complete beginners. Or stick with german and do french out of school until he picks for gcses.

Thanks to everyone. Emotions were high yesterday as it was last day of primary which is a challlenge in itself and DS was stressed at the idea of choosing between German, or being in a tutor group where he knows only 1 other kid. He has said he’d rather stay in German class. I remember year 7 being tough for DS1 as he had v few people he knew in his tutor group, although admittedly his friends now are mostly not from his old primary school. I have been looking into french courses in France which could be combined with staying with relatives and have contacted a school. I also have a friend who is a French teacher and she offers 1:1 classes so I’ll be asking her for advice.
I also take the point some have made, thatDS1 should be included next this french language project if he wants.
DS2 migh end up doing better with the language this way than if I’d just let him do it at school with n o input on my part.

Gushpanka not sure there will be the option of switching later but that’s worth checking.

Timetabling is a bitch. We see it all the time (& that's just staffing requirements!)

Schools may ask for preferences but that doesn't mean you get what you want.

They emailed your DH. He opted not to read it. They are not hiding from anything, nor is it a fig leaf.

Any sour taste being left is entirely your own creation I'm afraid.

I agree with Maisy - they’re not hiding from anything. Why would they if they had made contact. He will probably love German.

Being brutal here - I think the whole family background in french ship sailed when you didn’t go bilingual from babyhood. That is how the bilingual families I know do it - one parent only speaks their language to the child at home, from the start, no short cuts.

By the time they are 12 your having french background is about the same relevance as “I read history and love it, so I’s Like you to be interested too”.

Sorry to be brutal.

You have an opportunity to have a child with basic trilingual skills. French from family, German from school. Sounds fine to me whatever miscommunication lead to it.

Your DH should have read the email, but given it was you and not him in correspondence about languages, I think you can feel a bit annoyed that having already clearly expressed your preference for French, that info didn't reach the relevant person and get taken into account.

I think you could let the school know you feel this and remind them of the dates and different correspondences that you had about fRench before the German email went to your DH. At this point, Inwould also request that your email address is also added to any correspondence lists the school uses - ask for confirmation that this has been done too - should avoid this kind of thing in future.

That said, it is now too late and either friends or French because the allocations have been made. If French important then do the swap which has been offered. Actually, if he had been given French as you wanted, he might not have been with the friends anyway.

So, the school has not really been remiss here, except whoever corresponded with you didn't pass your communication to timetabler, but given an email was sent given a chance to object to the allocation and the timetabler and person you corresponded with won't have been the same person, and we are talking about a large organisation, where everyone doesn't know everything, they weren't remiss.

Lesson to learn here - copy absolutely everyone into every correspondence and at the end of every message always include the line 'please can you make sure that this email is forwarded to anyone who is relevant at the moment or might be relevant in future about this' and state the kind of roles which might be relevant,much as timetabler, Head of year, Head of Dept etc.

You've been unfortunate that this has happened, but it wasn't the schools fault and the timescales just mean he can't have the language and tutor group he wants and you will have to choose - but you have been given the choice to move, which many schools wouldn't make...so now you have onto decide how important the French is, because it is still available!

School are very much in the wrong if they emailed your DH alone after an email conversation with you alone on this topic.

Schools are unbelievably stupid not to pay attention to pupils’ MFL preferences.

I also think that you are being very unreasonable, OP. Your DH was too lazy to read the email. Despite that, your DS is being allowed to do French, in a group in which he has 1 friend. Not exactly the end of the world. But he will be much better off studying German in school and French at home and with family or language exchanges in France. In your place I would have asked for German in the first place.
If you're French, why don't you just teach him French at home? It's not difficult, and there are lots of resources you can use - audiocourses, online courses, etc. You could easily cover the GCSE curriculum in 1 year, with some lessons at home and a couple of stays with French families.

Schools are unbelievably stupid not to pay attention to pupils’ MFL preferences.
It's a preference.
Not everyone gets their preference. My friend's school offers Spanish and German. Spanish is vastly more popular. Someone has to do German. That's life.

Realistically, i agree with a PP who said with French in the family if they were hoping for bilingualism then that should have been done sooner.

Trying to be positive about it, perhaps leave in the class that will do German, but make a point of speaking French to him at home. Let him reply in English if he wants, and his knowledge may come in time. I have friends who brought up their dc like this, and though they felt it tough to start with, the dc are now happily bilingual.

The time has passed to do something about the school set up. It doesn’t mean they are a crap school, just that this one thing didn’t work out. You know to be more vigilant now.

I’d accept it can’t be changed now and speak French at home. Watch tv in French etc.

In my town they have a French club on a Saturday for dc up to 18. Anything like that near you?

LTB?!
Waves at Bob.

Prioritise him looking forward to secondary over language choice.

1. Some, oddly including bright kids who may not be natural linguists, can prefer German. There is a logic to it and you dont have to put on a funny foreign accent.

1. You will learn grammar, which may make English easier. (Actually I hope you learn grammar. DD seemed to be expected to learn phrases without the underlying grammar. Hopeless.)

1. Germany is the political and economic powerhouse of Europe. It does no harm to pick up a bit of cultural understanding.

1. There are some great words: Doodelsac; Auspuff etc, and those Autobahn favourites, Einfahrt and Ausfahrt.

Lots of ways to introduce French though you may have left it a bit late. (Small children can be more biddable.) Alliance Francaise, Cine Lumiere even Radio France London (its dire!). A subscription to France Foot or l'Equipe. By chance DD did an out of school activity that was popular with Lycee kids so picked up a lot from hearing them talk. Organise a exchange, perhaps with distant family - there are a lot more Feench kids wanting to come to the UK than vv. Nip over the Channel and rent a gite, and encourage the kids to shop for you (boulangeries are great) or take part in sports stuff organised by the Local Directeur Sportiv. And so on. Happy to give you suggestions for intensive courses, though not cheap. (DS struggled with French but at the same age had Common Entrance looming so we had to support him.)

My son's school had a policy like this too, I feel for you OP. My ds has a friend with Spanish family origins and was put in the French group!

What made it worse was that they should have been able to take up a second MFL in year 8 or 9 but then the school changed its policy so it's on MFL at GCSE and no option to take a second one. So ds is doing Spanish but wanted to do German as well and his friend is stuck with French though he has Spanish family.

Teachers take the view any language is as good as any other. Well not really. If you want to go to Germany it's best to learn German. If you have French family you'll want to do French. It can't be that difficult for a school to accommodate.

I feel for you and your son OP.

I have some sympathy here because my own DD hasn't got the language she wanted at secondary (we don't actually know what she has got, just that it's not the one she wanted!) - BUT - tbh, French does not sound important to either of your children, just you. It's not fair to expect them to take it up because of that, unfortunately.

If they show an interest later then you are in a great position to help them with it, but it does sound like they really don't want to learn it - sorry. Do not ruin his holiday by making him do a language course!

Language exchanges are a lot of fun - a couple of those plus some informal lessons with OP at home and he'll soon be speaking more French than he would after having 5 years of French lessons at school.

To wash their hands of any responsibility for this they referred me to an email they sent on the 12th of July ( to my husband) informing us he’d be in the German group unless they heard from us. Unfortunately he did not pass it on to me. The email had no subject and he didn’t even read it.

Just a thought on this aspect

• was this an individual email sent regarding your DS's situation only, or one sent out to the parents / carers of all new year 7s?
• was the email sent personally by the person at the school with whom you had been in correspondence, or 'from the department'?
• when you or (less likely?) your DH provided the school with your DS's home contact details, whose name was first on the list, yours or your DH's?
• were you given the option of both / all the nominated contacts being sent information, and if so, what was the response you / he gave?

Leaving aside the issues of nothing in the subject line of the email and your DH not bothering even to open it anyway - whoever sent it must have got your DH's email address from somewhere. If the email was actually a personal one from the teacher / admin person with whom you had already had email correspondence and was actually single email, pertaining to your DS only, then yes, it was rather sloppy and rude not to make sure that it was sent to you personally.

However, if this was part of a general mail-out to the mailing list of parents / carers of new year 7s, or someone was asked to 'send Master X's parents an email to say...' and they just merged your DS's first named contact, then it is quite easy to see how it might have gone to only one of you and unfortunately in this instance, the wrong one.

Thanks again to those who posted. NMS- waves back. LTB that's pure mumsnet, made me laugh. I also have some fave German words but too rude// puerile to post here. Thanks for your constructive suggestions. Frogs, the email was sent only to DH by the head of year, all previous correspondence on this was done only by me to head of MFL and head of year. Maybe it's because DS has DHs surname and I kept my maiden name. Anyway we've accepted he'll do German, the transition to year 7 can be challenging enough without feeling out on a limb.
I take the point re speaking exclusively French from birth being the best way to go. I have French friends in binational relationships and that's what they did, totally single mindedly. I'm not French , I did try it and it just did not work, party because DH speaks little French, partly because it's not my maternal tongue, I acquired it around age 6.

Maybe instead of just randomly trying to do French exchanges, you can get hold of a copy of the French text book the school is using, and make sure that DS knows everything in it. Not very much is usually expected for Year 7, as you will see if you look at the text book.

Then ask if he can take the French exam at the end of Year 7 (along with the German one, of course). They are likely to be scheduled at the same time, but invigilating might be possible (I know it is unusual, but a possibility, or else maybe you can talk to the head of languages about him doing it at home under exam conditions). If he can take the exam, and shows he is doing at least as well as the other students in the French stream, why can't he then switch at that point (when he will know far more people in the school)? That way he will get the option to take French up to GCSE as well as all being introduced to German (and have that as a possible option).

I really do understand where you are coming from. My husband was born in England, but his parents spoke French at home, so French was really his first language. But then he went to school in England, so he is stronger in English, and if somebody talks to him in English he will automatically switch (although if somebody talks to him in French he will automatically switch back). If his parents were alive then our DC would have heard a lot more French, as that was always the language of communication, but they died before any of our DC were born. He tried for a bilingual home, but once they were old enough to respond to him in French, he just kept switching, and because he was not the stay at home parent, their English development far further than their French. He was desperately keen though that they take French at school rather than Spanish (the alternative choice). Luckily our school were much more accommodating and thoughtful than yours, so once we outlined this is an email, we got back an email from the head of languages - "of course DD will be placed in the French stream" (at the time when DS started the school, it was French for everybody in Year 7 and other options only started later).
So we would have been furious if the school had messed us around like that. And i strongly agree with you that when you have a cultural link to a language, that is important. However our experience with DS and now DD is that they do not cover a huge amount in Year 7, so teaching it out of school is really feasible. Higher up though it becomes much harder, as there is so much demand on a GCSE student's time, that i would not consider a subject outside the school, so you really want to be back in the system by then if they take it for GCSE.