Award ceremonies - what is the point!

[ohnofootballagain]

Hoping some (probably exhausted and on count down!) secondary school teachers are on here.

Firstly I would say I am not a precious parent and have not had cause to contact the school at any time during the last academic year. We didn’t even do parents evening as we had an exchange student with us & school told kids to only really see teachers if below on predicated grades. Report is a set of numbers v target so very impersonal but understand the pressure schools are under so fine.

DS is finishing year 10 this week. Quite mature at 15, will be 16 in October. He has had a good year, worked hard by himself, good attendance – just the odd day for sickness, no detentions (1 in year 9), never late, appears to have good relationships with teachers, good mocks and has stayed in set 1/triple science. Not top but doing well & trying hard. Recently got 98% for a maths challenge (he was so chuffed to tell us), praised for a good French oral exam where she said she could see he tried, has been put forward for a special study programme for being predicted 8/9 in English and has a nice group of friends.

Today was awards ceremony. I am slightly biased as my eldest child, now 20, had chronic illness from year 6 so had very low attendance, and had to leave in year 10 and take a different route. (Now at University) I was used to that child being invisible when it came to awards although weirdly they did get one at the end of year 10 despite not being there.

However my DS today came home, very cross at sitting for 2 hours in an assembly for year 10. About 80/90% of the kids got some form of an award, certificate, some a trophy, some monetary prize. He got nothing. 10 or so forms and out of his form 5 out of 30 got nothing.

He is not upset but very angry at those who got awards which included kids who have been mean to others, got detentions, rude to teachers and one who he knows smokes/vapes at school and does drugs. A language prize to a child who was bought up with the language in the home etc

An award means nothing to me. I’m pleased he is who he is and we have spoken about how proud we are of him and to ignore the day but AIBU in wanting to email the school and tell them either make the awards to a few and a real achievement or find something positive in everyone and not this awful situation where there is nothing to a small minority. There was also a video that included a few trips he didn’t get on, and none of the one he was on. Sports day but not his team that won an event.

Everyone loves a bit if praise even as adults but what is the point of this awards ceremony that alienates a few children.

At our secondary school they have the awards ceremony in the evening and only the kids who are getting an award and their parents are invited. It's a bit more discreet that way.

I don't blame you for being a bit upset about how they handle it.

That sounds a much better system.

Our school has its award ceremony during the day (afternoon), but again only the kids getting awards and their parents get invited, and the others have the afternoon off (this is other than the Year 7s who get no awards, and who are a bit of a rent-a-crowd). My son was a bit miffed this year that he had to stay!

It sounds like the school reward system is flawed. I would contact the school and tell them what you have told us. The reward system should not overlook those who consistently do the right thing...

It was total bollocks when I was at school looks like nothing has changed. My best friend used to win several prizes across different subjects I never got anything and was hard working and high achieving. All you can say is success is its own reward and if awards went to undeserving characters then it shows what they are worth.

Thank you for commenting. Good to get a sense check. Think I will contact the school and say my piece tomorrow.

I started a different thread on a similar theme.

I disagree the afternoon/evening awards schemes are more discreet, they are advertised on our schools website and all the kids up for awards are told during school time so obviously discuss amongst their peers so everyone knows who is getting an award and who has missed out again for another year.

I too want to e-mail the school to ask them if they know the negative effect this has on those children consistently left out year after year. But I don't want to be 'that' parent but I am genuinely interested I how these awards are decided.

I've told my dd similar, I'm proud of her, in the great scheme of things she won't give two hoots about this in 10 years time, but that doesn't help her how she is feeling right now.

I bet it's the same kids who got awards that used to get to play Mary and Joseph at primary.

Rhubard - (love the name and have the tune in my head now!) Sorry didn't see your thread. I agree and don't want to be 'that' parent either and I get that in 'grown up' life not everyone is rewarded but it seems so disheartening for those who are good and go unnoticed.

Haha re Mary & Joseph

I do agree with you OP.
Awards need to be either for 'the top' in whatever, or, if you are giving out 20 - 25 per form, then you need to find a way of recognising everyone.

My dds' school did the 'only invited if you were getting an award' thing, and you didn't tend to know anything about it unless they were. Making them sit through '2 hours of not getting an award when virtually everyone else did' seems less than helpful.

Sounds the same as when I was at school 12 years ago. Kids who messed around in class and acted like idiots got awards and people like me who worked hard and did well got nothing! I didn’t even want an award but a well done in my direction would have been nice.

Here the process is completely objective. It's all done by grades. If your overall grade point average is above 85 with no class below an 80, you get on the honor roll. If your GPA is above 90 with no class below 85 you get high honor roll.

The subject awards are the same. If you have the highest course grade in chemistry or 4th year Italian, you get the outstanding student of the year award in that subject. If there is a tie, both students get the award.

The only honor I can think of that is even somewhat subjective is membership in the National Honor Society:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Honor_Society

In addition to consistently high grades you also have to show community involvement and get recommendations from a few of your teachers.

My DS just finished secondary school and he was an NHS member.

Ohnonotfootball thanks you can probably guess my age from my username.

My Dd school has these evening awards at end of year for each year group, set after school but as said all kids told in school if they are invited so discussed with their peers before and after the event, so those that don't go still hear about it. I genuinely don't know the criteria for these awards, but from the few kids I know have gone each year they are super bright top of the class or the kids that are more vocal/disruptive.

They also have at the end of every term certificate assembly for awards like 100% attendance, or well done you remebered your ruler every day type certificates - again not sure who these awards are meant to motivate, they get a picece of paper and a lolly 😕. Our school have said they are changing this part of the rewards system going forward, so remains to be seen how/if this will change, but I'm guessing it will be the same children noticed, the top of the class ones and the ones who are more vocal - the quiet and well behaved stuck in the middle kids will probably still be overlooked, but will have to wait and see.

There must be some secondary school teachers/heads on here who can shed further light on how these awards operate in their school and do they know how de-motivating they are to the kids who never get them, please can and share some insight.

I think it's a real shame that people are afraid to effect change (or at least try to) for fear of being "that" parent - whatever the hell that is.

DD's reward ceremony was a tedious two hours of the same child being awarded certificate after certificate DD is "meh" about the whole thing so I won't contact the school about that as I have another battle to fight but I would encourage others to engage with schools because they really do need feedback.

I think many schools fall in to the trap of awards for everything. Over the years parents complain of their child not getting a prize so more and more are added, but then you still don't have enough and inevitably a small number of children get nothing. It diminishes the value of the award and makes no-one content. My DCs two schools only award a handful of prizes per year group. 5 each for effort and achievement per year group. Then a further 5 or 6 across the whole school for subject attainment. That way no-one expects to get a prize and when they do it is a real achievement and all the more welcome.

Mary and Joseph - same kids. Every bloody year! And the Mary got to be head girl.

Out of the 11 schools my children have attended over the years, the one which doesn't do awards at all is the most idealistic, inspiring, high-achieving of the lot.

Long awards ceremonies are just a way to make an enormous group of people feel jaded, fed-up, hot, bored, and depressed. My daughter got an award this year, and I still felt terrible. Lots of reasons to feel disgruntled: one of hay daughter's friends was the only girl in the year group not to get an award at all ; other kids got 3 awards and my perfect daughter only got one (boo-hoo); the speeches were terribly dreary and uninspiring; the performances of the kids were far from joyful (no one sounds great playing an instrument for 2 minutes after sitting in the heat for 90 minutes).

Secondary school are as bad as primary when it comes to favourites.

In my year group, we had the deputy heads daughter and they only people who ever got awards, chosen for events etc where her and her friends. No one else got a look in!

My tutor once asked me why I bunked off these things. When I told she said what rubbish! I wrote I an envelope would be the prize winners next time and surprise! I was spot on.

When I was at secondary school there were awards for the top grades in each subject and the most improved. This seems pretty fair to me. There were also awards for 100% attendance and most improved attendance. There was one for the person with the most merit cards (which were earned by having excellent behaviour, working hard, generally trying to be a good student /person). Again seemed pretty fair.

The prefects and student council all got a special thanks for their efforts too, as did those involved in the school newspaper, choir and band.

There were a couple of sporting awards too, so something for those whose strengths might not necessarily academic, but who had put some effort in anyway.

All in all there were around 50-60ish awards I think in a year of 300 pupils. So it genuinely meant something.

This everyone except you five get an award seems extraordinarily unfair.

do complain. years ago I did. dc was at an sn school. very small class. terrible year for them.(only 5 in class) I won't put the things that happened, but it was awful.
then 2 out of the remaining 4 get the teachers prize.....
I complained and this lead to a whole re think of the system and the dropping of the teachers award(ffs poor teacher having to pick like that)
so do say something.

I HATE school awards. The ones in private schools are the worst (i have children at a mix of schools), particularly since parents are expected to go.
If a child is really clever their reward surely is in their results, they don’t need the extra claps. Same if they’re super sporty. And then if a child gets a special prize for ‘effort’ you get patronising looks from other mothers because they think it means your child is a bit dim but a trier.
The only plus as far as I can see is that it teaches the children who don’t get prizes that lifelong skill of clapping/smiling/congratulating even when you know it is underserved.
Maybe I’m just bitter 😂

At dd's school most children do get an award, some don't, but it is quite easy to get an award - go to choir, do a sports club etc. It is basically a joining in award, plus a few achievement awards.

Not a fan of awards in schools myself - perhaps a consequence of 7 years of watching the same children win prizes at my own school despite coming top in end of year exams myself on numerous occasions.

Yesterday was Y6 DD's own prize giving and she did win a prize which genuinely amazed us as it is usually the same families e.g. some families had 3 children happen to be one of the 1 or 2 per year group to win. What's the chance of that?

Despite DD getting a prize, I'd rather the prize giving didn't happen. There were just 12 prizes shared between 7 families. My younger DS said he knows that he'll never win and that's not motivating.

Well, I'm 'that' parent. I was away over the weekend but have returned tonight and composed and sent a carefully worded email to the school. Not about no award, but rather about how it made my child feel.

Surprisingly the out of office till September is on so I will wait to see if they respond. Watch this space!

What was lovely is that a teacher that left gave her class an individual card each with a little message. Completely spot on for my son thanking him for his efforts and encouraging him going forward. It has pride of place on his desk and means a lot to him. There really are some lovely teachers out there.