school skirt - please take pity on us and help!

[shiklah]

I cannot find a school skirt or trousers to fit my DD13.

The requirements are:

Either a knee-length straight black skirt with a small vent at the back for movement, or a plain black knee-length skirt with box pleats or a black knee length A line skirt. Close fitting or stretchy material is not permitted. Whichever skirt is chosen the height from the top of the patella (knee cap) to the bottom of the skirt should be a maximum of 2.5 cms.

She is athletic and mixed race and has what was described at the uniform outfitters as an "extreme waist to hip ratio". The outfitters said they could not alter a skirt to fit her.

This year we have had 4 skirts, 1 professionally altered. All have been unsuitable in some way or other. The shirt rides up and gapes or comes untucked, the skirt rides up and is too short, it has too much stretch, it bunches up on her tummy and is too short.

I don't wear skirts and am really struggling with the requirements. Assistants in John Lewis and M&S have just provided a selection and they do not fit.

I am determined to sort this before next school year as she has been getting upset. I am starting to get upset - why can't I get this right? :(

I agree with those who say contact the school and speak to an actual human being about this. Preferably a head of year.

Thank you all so much -I will research these options.

I agree it isn't fair and I do feel she is being singled out. I went borderline nuclear on the head of year when he called me and asked why DD was wearing a 'clingy short skirt' (it was an M&S school skirt that kept riding up on her hips and did look ridiculous but was the same fabric as all the school clothes).

She is at a high achieving selective school that specialises in a sport she is very gifted at. (She looks so fab in her sports dress leaping thru the air like an olympian)

I have taken it to the head of year, head of middle school and the 'executive leader' and none will budge. They just refuse to understand that it isn't acceptable to keep picking on one of the only mixed race kids screaming about her 'clingy skirt' when there are other girls in the same skirt and it's not mentioned.

I will throughly research all the options you'd given.

I really can't fathom why she is not allowed a belt or a wide waist band which would solve the issue. :(

A decent seamstress should be able to make a pattern, although I agree that you could talk to the pastoral team at school; send them shopping!

this is the guidance note:

Either a knee-length straight black skirt with a small vent at the back for movement, or a plain black knee-length skirt with box pleats or a black knee length A line skirt. Close fitting or stretchy material is not permitted. Whichever skirt is chosen the height from the top of the patella (knee cap) to the bottom of the skirt should be a maximum of 2.5 cms.

do you think the amazon ones suggested by PP would fit the criteria or are pleats/full and A line all separate descriptions?

I manage everything else in life - why is this beyond me!

Sounds like trousers would be a better option.

I was going to suggest trousers. Although my friends dd has a similar sounding shape and she has a pleated skirt with an adjustabke waist?

re the shirts - thank you so much

She has to have a specific one from the outfitters. She finds that short sleeves are much better and we size up. It works if she can keep teh damn thing tucked in - I bloody wish she could wear a dress like I did!!!

Slight tangent, dealing with the gaping shirt, can she pull the shorts over her head? If so sewing between the buttons will stop them gaping. Or a popper may help.

Would something like these suffice? I know the second is a little pricey

Would this do? Easy to put a couple of tucks in the waistband skirt

This is my old uniform:

jamaica-gleaner.com/article/lead-stories/20140728/hats-westwood-trelawny-school-rises-humble-beginnings-take-place-among

Fits EVERYONE skinniest to biggest - a belt to pull it all together - no one is shamed, no one is uncomfortable, easy to wash and press, no one can roll it up and it is practical for playing, skipping, running, dancing, whatever you want to do.

I do not like my DD13's little suit at all but she has to comply with the rules and she doesn't want any more tellings off so I must help her find one that fits well. I have to pick my battles :)

thank you so much ladies, this is so kind I am almost crying. I have been extremely frustrated.

I feel like the spoiled brat Queen of skirts
The Banner one is too short
The lovely linen one too long
beautiful Viv Holloway too long and too fitted

It's insane, really, this has clarified that in my mind.

The banner one comes in three. Lengths

oh gosh thank you

I love your uniform btw

Insane how a school would state it's "too long" our school had a hard time getting us girls to roll our skirts down from where we'd rolled up the waistband! They'd be over the moon with too long lol

What about matalan? Or other stores that do women's officewear. I found a very sensible grey skirt in Matalan. I aLao hAve wide hips and small waist. Fit very well. New look or maybe Next.
School uniform makes no allowances for young women's bodies. I remember the humiliation, being 13yrs old with size c tits. And white button shirts.

Bless poor girl!

Tbh when I had this issue at school my mum said ‘you find the skirt and she’ll wear it’ but they sound more racist “particular” at your school.

They have designed a uniform for straight up and down little girls and are trying to squeeze a teenager into it. I mean it really does border on body shaming doesn’t it? I’m not one to throw that term around but if her actual body doesn’t fit in their mad scheme isn’t it discrimination?

Anyway, I have no useful suggestions apart from trying an adults uniform outfitters. The type that do catering and waitressing uniforms for the retail industry. They tend to have allmanner of sizing as, for adults!, you have to supply a uniform that fits. She may fit a v v small adult one.

Go back to the school.

Tell them how many skirts you have tried. Point out that she is mixed race and that the uniform they are forcing her into is a form of racial discrimination. Also point out that your dd is often told her skirt is unsuitable when it is the same one others are wearing.

They are picking on her because of the shape of her body which is very similar to picking on her for the colour of her skin, something she cannot control and should not be made to feel ashamed of.

She has hips and a bum and a narrow waist, She could wear a kilt, belt or a wider waistband and all would work better but the rules are forcing her into something that means she has to spend time rearranging her clothing several times a day because nothing you can buy in the shops fits her and conforms to the school rules.

Ask them for a suggested dress maker because you have tried all the high street stores. and you have paid for fitting.

Yes - that is how I feel - that she is being singled out as different because she has her mothers ample bottom!! She isn't seen as a different race at all - it is all very muddled thinking really.

Every full figured woman I speak to has memory of this type of issue but not one teacher has any clue what I am speaking about.

I have been unfailingly polite and respectful and DS is the golden child of the school so I don't think I have made the problem by being a pita parent.

Thank you

I feel very sad now. I know it is silly but I feel a bit overwhelmed.

I am very grateful, sorry I know I am being ridiculous.

She was followed round a shopping centre by 3 older teenage boys taking photos of her bottom last summer. It's not fair and I just want everyone to LEAVE HER ALONE!!!

I will get the skirt, and it will be ok has been my mantra. And hers.

I am off to lock up my hens and think about it.

Thank you all so much, women like you are wonderful

What a nightmare I have a very slim DD that is sporty who got told off because the school specific skirt was too short not my fault that the next size up literally fell half way down her hips as was too big on the waist.

I agree with explaining to the school that they are being racially discriminatory and that your DD is being singled out for wearing the specified school uniform just because it doesn't suit her body shape

Can you get a dressmaker to put some darts in one of the skirts she has? Its simpler than making a new skirt?

@sashh says it perfectly. Pass it back over to the school - you’ve made more than enough effort to find a “suitable” school skirt, let them find one!!
FFS this kind of thing makes me mad, the important thing is that our children can participate in their education, not worrying about finding clothes that fit the school’s incredibly prescriptive rules!!

If you got one of the looser 50s shapes, would something like this www.garmentweight.com help to keep it in place?
And when you say ‘too long’ is that by their standards, or your daughters?
At least one of the catholic schools near here, as short skirts are barred, they’ve gone totally the other way & wear their skirts really really long.