Is it just me or have GCSEs taken over your life too?

[tiredand44]

It's ridiculous! I'm completely stressed, I'm obsessing about what revision (or lack of) that he's done. I've spent a small fortune in revision books and online revision help, and I'm not sure he really cares! He's currently revising English Lit (which is tomorrow...he needs to know 15 poems) whilst lying on his bed with the revision guide in front of him. There are no beautiful mind maps, no notes, no practice essay answers...nada.

Do I just wash my hands of it all and let him get on with it? My issue is that I know he is so capable of doing A'levels, but he needs 6s to get back into sixth form and he's just too bloody lazy to ensure that happens!

Please help

@iknowimcoming I think you're me!! It's painful trying to get anything out of him, but twitter and snapchat are fine. I did tell ask him to delete Snapchat but the abject horror in his face at losing his 423 day streaks was enough to shut me up. For now anyway.

Laughing at "fine, I guess" as a 'stock answer'. No, my dear son, what you mean is 'You guess Mum, it's all for you to Guess Mum, I dare you, go on, ask me to explain a bit more and Risk Rocking The Boat'.

Therefore my 'stock answer' is: "That's good"

Better get back to the work backlog caused by keeping everything fine, nice and good. And wine.

I actually asked Ds for a list of his favourite dinners so I could ensure he was eating properly through the exam period and I've been buying him his favourite lunch to take to school so as I can be sure he'll eat in the middle of the day (rather than bring his lunchbox home untouched and him being full hangry hulk at home time) as i know his performance with low blood sugar is less than ideal.

I read somewhere recently that self-belief is 50% of their grades so I've been tellling him he's capable I know he's capable and I know he'll do well just do your best and all will be fine.

People ask me how he's doing and I say no idea - probably terribly judging by the amount of revision he's done/doing. People smile and say oh he'll probably surprise you - and then I want to cry, actually cry because I know he won't surprise me and if he does it'll only be that he's done even worse than I already think he'll do. I wouldn't mind if he didn't have the ability to do really well - it's the lack of effort that does my head in - pass the wine/gin

We can only do what we can. In the end, it's down to them. My DS isn't doing much revision but I'm hoping it's because he's done a lot at school and so far all exams have been declared 'fine'. I take comfort in that word 'fine' also the word 'easy'.

iknow - what does your DS want to do in September? Once you have got what you need for the next step forward, you don't have to worry too much about the rest. Focus on their strengths.

Spababe - this is what's bizarre about my Ds - he wants to do a level maths, physics and computing (like could he have chosen a more tricky bag?!) so needs grade 6 and above to get into 6th form - his maths and computing are ok ish but in physics mock he got a grade 4. My stress is that even if he gets the grades his work ethic is so poor that him doing those a levels with be constant stress for him to put the effort in, so I fear 2 more years of constant nagging unless dd going to uni will suddenly change and mature him into a diligent student. Hope that made sense - pimms has been consumed

It’s been lovely today as everyone has had a day off. We’ve done normal,things such as gardening and sport. No,revision books has been touched. Back,to the grindstone tomorrow.

iknowimcoming perhaps he really can pull it out the bag with minimal work at GCSE. My DD2 really couldn't and works continually but DD1 was much more laid back and put in much less work and her approach still resulted in straight As/A*s.

DD2 was very stressed before Biology and had spent all weekend revising. The night before the exam a boy was on snapchat asking what sections he needed to revise! DD2 said the annoying thing was, that he was the only one to beat her in the mock! Some kids are just naturally very bright and others have to work hard to get to the same place.

I agree that this doesn't work at A level but sometimes kids just have a bad term before they realise this and pull their socks up!

Thought I would share my experience with my DD - zero revision was done for GCSE's and I do mean none, because lets face it what's the probability of going into your DD's bedroom on umpteen occasions and not once catching them even near a book let alone revising!!! Well results day was not a happy experience she got what she deserved rather than what she was expecting/predicted!! Luckily it was enough to still get her on to the A levels she wanted to study. I thought lesson learnt - wrong AS's she did actually revise but it was too little to late but again just enough not to be asked to leave .

So final year A2's are rapidly approaching and in the February she actually said to me "I've just realised if I want to do well I am going to have to do the work myself as no-one else is going to do it for me" finally the penny had dropped .........she's now at Uni on a course she loves and working hard.

I wish all your DC the best of luck!

DS2 (half way through GCSEs) has so far been organised, calm and generally a delight.

DS1 (A-levels start after half term) is becoming extremely difficult to live with. Everything we do is wrong.

Twin boys here so both doing GCSEs at the same tme. I really feel that parents stressing can affect their children either by putting too much pressure on or by them rebelling and acting as if they don't care to counter-balance the anxiety of parents.

We have taken the approach of your GCSEs, your grades, we will support you if you ask for something, but otherwise it's down to you. However, they are well aware of the link between all exam grades and the possibility of not doing A Levels and a degree if they don't do well. They also know that exam results will usually, but not always, link to earning power later.

There is no point stressing and forcing them to "study" (not the least because you can't force someone to take it in, even if they are carrying out the actions). I also don't intend to chase them through A Levels and degrees so it's best they learn early how to manage themselves. Sorry, I know that sounds tough but I don't think lots of anxiety helps either teenagers or parents.

Second I think both Gscers and A level students in this house are stressed but they just react in different ways to that stress. Dtwins channel it into revision, and do revision which possibly is just time wasting "busy work" means loads of flashcard with colour coding..Ds1 is stressed too, but channels it into distractions and alternative activities, mostly screen based. I am very keen for him to get out of his room so that he can concentrate better in it (ie exercise and fresh air, talking to people in RL)
Funnily enough ds2 who has Asperger's is also being a delight! Perhaps this an ideal set up for him, focusing on a goal and working hard and intensively.

Ah yes, screen based distractions have never been an issue here but they're now becoming one because it's been too long revising since Easter. Adrenaline and focus are going out the window. He's obviously more of a 100m sprinter than a 1500m runner. Plus it's so bloody sunny and beautiful outside.