Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Duke of Edinburgh bronze award is giving me the rage. Please help me get a grip or share my frustration!!

55 replies

IHaventStoppedCravingYet · 11/05/2018 18:30

DS 14 is doing D of E this year. He was all enthusiastic and really really wanted to do it. Fast forward to now and he’s barely made any effort at all, is way behind in all activities. Hardly bothered to document the things he has done. Basically can’t be bothered. If we hadn’t spent so much money on it I wouldn’t be quite so upset but it’s really getting to me. As far as I can see he’s learnt nothing and gained nothing. I don’t know why I’m so upset think I’m just really disappointed in him.

OP posts:

BubblesBuddy · 11/05/2018 19:58

Only Oxbridge, Medics and Vets get interviewed. Hardly anyone else. Some admissions tutors on MN say they don’t even read the PS.

Spam88 · 11/05/2018 20:02

Oh wow, I was wondering what you'd possibly have spent loads of money on and then I saw your post 😐 back when I did it we were loaned all of the equipment, it's crazy to have to buy it all just for two nights camping.

EdWinchester · 11/05/2018 20:06

Our school lends them everything, even walking boots if they want them.

It costs barely anything.

I think the expedition alone is worth the award. Fwiw, my eldest did his gold and at least 40% of his friends fabricated most of their skills. I was very shocked, but it seems to be the norm.

Original poster

IHaventStoppedCravingYet · 11/05/2018 20:06

I know Spam! Will try and sell some of it afterwards. The school provide tents but that’s it’s and the list off stuff you are required to have is three pages long. They had a kit check at school and you can't get away with not having anything. So their group had 60 survival bags between them and they were only a few miles from our house

OP posts:

KittyMcKitty · 11/05/2018 20:36

He has until 20 something to complete it. He just needs to upload his evidence on his E D of E account. It doesn’t have to be eg every park run he’s helped at but a few pics, a bit of a commentary on what he’s done and his assessors report.

Floottoot · 11/05/2018 21:34

Ihaven'tstopped, I could have written your posts myself and feel EXACTLY the same as you about my DD.
She is doing a dance class for her physical...but only because another school friend is doing it. She is volunteering in the school's junior school...but only because other school friends are doing it too. She's having singing lessons for her skill...but only because I signed her up for them. Nothing has been documented at all.
We spent a fortune on her expedition equipment, dragging her round the shops,making food suggestions etc - nothing has been initiated by her.
To be fair, her trial expedition was over the heatwave weekend just after Easter and she did well, but the total lack of drive and enthusiasm is driving me insane! I'm hoping it's a 14 year old lack of maturity thing....otherwise the next 2 years is going to be hell!!

Original poster

IHaventStoppedCravingYet · 11/05/2018 22:22

floot glad to know it’s not just me!! I didn’t realise he didn’t have to finish it this school year though which will help

OP posts:

Snowysky20009 · 12/05/2018 07:11

Oxbridge, Medics and Vets get interviewed and teachers and social workers etc

AChickenCalledKorma · 12/05/2018 08:14

Not getting around to writing things up is completely normal. He'll do it at some point, probably when he realises his friends are finished and he isn't. Try and help him pick a skill he actually wants to do. He can start it now.

And even if it doesn't feel like the life changing experience you hoped for, he will still be learning stuff that isn't on the GCSE curriculum. Like that some things take protracted effort, and that if you don't keep on top of paperwork it becomes a passion in the arse!

AChickenCalledKorma · 12/05/2018 08:15

pain in the arse, obvs. A passion in the arse would be a very different thing

jeanne16 · 12/05/2018 08:18

I think DoE is worth doing purely for the expeditions. Both my DCs found them quite tough but different from anything else they had done, so memorable experiences. The rest is less valuable and loads of people cheat on the volunteering etc, which really shocked me at first.

Unis really don’t care about any of this stuff but schools routinely tell their pupils that all this stuff matters, so they get lots of mixed messages.

Original poster

IHaventStoppedCravingYet · 12/05/2018 10:04

Hahaha korma now that’s a whole different conversation . In my head I will think of DOfE as a passion in the arse from now on

OP posts:

RedSkyAtNight · 12/05/2018 12:08

He sounds like he's doing really well (on the way to completing 3 sections albeit not documented). So don't really understand your rage. I have a DC who is basically at the same stage at yours, getting him motivated is a huge struggle, but it's his job to sort himself out. I've reminded him he has until 25 to finish it, but if he wants to keep doing it with his friends, he needs to do a bit more quickly than that. Taking a step back and not micromanaging (and potentially letting them fail) is surely one of the learnings from the DofE.

oh, and from the other side - I used to be a Brownie leader and had loads of girls in to help as part of their DofE. Pretty much all of them I retro-filled in their weekly logs when they got to the end of the 3/6 months - so I think that bit is pretty common!

TeenTimesTwo · 12/05/2018 16:31

When DD1 did Bronze the school insisted they had finished 2 sections and at least started on the third before they allowed them on the final expedition. I think that was to motivate them to do it, and to ensure that people didn't sign up purely for the expedition with no intention of doing the other stuff.

bringbacksideburns · 12/05/2018 16:43

Sounds about normal to me.
Ds did his bronze and silver through Scouts and enjoyed it. Didn't cost a penny. I was a bit disappointed he couldn't be arsed to do his Gold though.

My DD is about to do her practice Bronze for her's through school - can't remember how much we paid but it wasn't too bad and she's just going to use her brother's stuff and luckily fits in his old boots. She is about as enthusiastic as my teapot though. The only thing she's really done is about 5 months of volunteering with Barnardos ( every Sunday afternoon) and she's going to do a bit of swimming. She murmured something about an instrument at school for skill - God knows what!

You do feel you have to keep chivvying them along and her school haven't really been sending a lot of info out about it. I remember from last time you have to get some of that dried food - we got some from Decathlon. Will have to get a list from the teacher who is supposed to be coordinating this!

BubblesBuddy · 13/05/2018 00:05

Mine boarded so the volunteering was a pain. The school arranged a few things for a favoured few and the rest of us struggled to find something. The girls had a trip out in the school minibus to Tesco to get provisions.

DD2 had a nightmare as her group was initially disqualified from the expedition as one girl blew her whistle in jubilation about 50 m from the end of it - with the teachers in view. Not allowed of course and the whole group was DQd. DD and the others successfully argued that they couldn’t get the whistle off the girl or stop her blowing it as it was hung round her neck! Total nightmare and I was furious when I heard the effort DD had made to get reinstated. She didn’t blow the whistle. She didn’t know the girl was going to blow the whistle. The staff saw who blew the whistle. If you have to deal with this sort of crap, it’s really not worth it.

PlushLush2018 · 13/05/2018 09:49

DS did his a couple of years ago, but agree that it's so widespread these days that it's not really worth doing, other than being character-building for the young people.

DS did complete all his sections (and didn't cheat!) and paperwork and gained his award probably a couple of months after completing the final expedition. However, many of his friends were quite lax and were forced into school to complete the paperwork side of things.

At DS's school an external provider did the expeditions part so it turned out to be quite expensive. Probably about £650 in total, with taking up a sport, learning a skill and the kit for the camps.

BertrandRussell · 13/05/2018 09:52

I haven’t read the thread but I just wanted to make sure people know that things like DofE make absolutely no difference at all to University admissions. Unless possibly if the volunteering was in a field directly related to the subject being applied for.

bringbacksideburns · 13/05/2018 09:54

Can't believe how much some of you are paying!

BalloonFlowers · 13/05/2018 10:09

I still put my gold DoE award on my CV. It was commented on at my last job interview (6 yrs ago).

BalloonFlowers · 13/05/2018 10:13

Sorry, shouldn't have posted.
Should I stop putting it on? - will be applying for jobs soon after a few years out.

BertrandRussell · 13/05/2018 10:57

Yep- put it on. It shows stickability.

But it makes no difference to University admissions.

Xenia · 13/05/2018 11:52

The school will probably badger them to get stuff filled in too well before the expedition. My twins did bronze and I do think teenagers need a bit of chasing to make sure they are filling in what they have to do. Their school had an evening every so often when they had to stay after school for an hour just to sit there and do stuff, and fill things in and see the teachers. It helped make sure most of those who registered completed it. One of mine said it was the worst experience of his life (the camping) and I am sure the other really enjoyed it. Even though he hated it I suspect he learned a lot - even if that is just I will never camp again anywhere in my life and I love 5* hotels.

Pythonesque · 13/05/2018 17:11

My daughter's doing it through school too and I think they may require the whole year to do volunteering ("community service") regardless of whether they opt to do DofE anyway. Unfortunately the DofE meetings clash with one of her many music activities, and it was agreed that they would get the information she needed to her, she was fine to crack on with the other stuff. We realised over last weekend that she'd heard nothing about the expeditions yet; I was going through the school calendar and noted the dates. She's now chased up and been told "that's fine, we'll put you in a group" ... The bit that worries me is noticing that the final expedition leaves the morning after she has an evening outing to see a musical 1 hour from school ...

Come to think of it I must make sure she knows about documenting stuff as that could have easily passed her by!

Allthebestnamesareused · 13/05/2018 18:01

My husband always says when he sees D of E on a cv or application to his law firm - ah you had a middle class mummy.

Just to reiterate unis look for supercurricular rather than extra curricular.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread