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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Anyone else's oldest child starting secondary this September?

42 replies

DumbledoresGirl · 15/05/2007 18:49

My ds1 is and I am beginning to feel a bit upset about this. My feelings weren't helped by watching that Cutting Edge programme last night about a school that had a terrible swearing record. It wasn't the swearing that worried me (I am liberal with my language and don't particularly mind about swearing) but the aggression and defiance and downright ugliness of the teenagers really depressed me. The thought of my son going into that sort of environment, the thought of him becoming like that, the worry that he will be led into smoking or drugs, basically, the thought that I am losing my baby I suppose.

Anyone else feeling the same?

OP posts:
Wotzsaname · 15/05/2007 19:26

Hi DG

Yes dd1 is in September. But don't worry, there will be children from all different backgrounds, always in every village, town and city.

It does go very quickly in primary school doesn't it?

One minute they are dressed up as a lion in the school play, the next minute they're in size 7 shoes!

ChasingSquirrels · 15/05/2007 19:36

ds1 is aswell, he will be 5 in September. I'm not at all emotional about it one way or another, I just see it as another stage of his life. Don;t know if I will feel the same way when it's ds2 turn though (he is my baby!).

southeastastra · 15/05/2007 19:37

aw my ds(13) has been in secondary for two years, he's still cute

Tamum · 15/05/2007 19:41

Ds started last August and is like a different child, he loves it so much. I did feel sad on his last day at primary but it's been great ever since

ChasingSquirrels · 15/05/2007 19:42

bugger I read that wrong, ds1 is startin gprimary not secondary - duh!

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 15/05/2007 19:43

Don't you worry that you are going to lose your child to the Teenage Monster? Also, I wonder how he is going to manage. Maybe it is just my ds1, but he is hopeless at organising himself, he does not give the impression of being able to motivate himself, he is easily led, and really immature for his age.

Or maybe I am just worrying unnecessarily?

OP posts:
DragonFaerie · 15/05/2007 19:43

Mine too (DD1) DDG.

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 15/05/2007 19:44

PMSL ChasingSquirrels. You will have to start your own thread!

OP posts:
southeastastra · 15/05/2007 19:51

i am slowly losing my son to the teenage monster, long hair, shouting, always in his room, but underneath the bravado he is still the same boy.

he's also made tons more friends since being at secondary. they're all the same type of child iykwim, kind and polite but still trying to be little adults when they're together.

the first couple of months may be hard for you but you'd be amazed how easily he'll cope with it by christmas.

though my son still isn't that organised but manages to get his homework in on time and ultimately loves his school and teachers.

MaureenMLove · 15/05/2007 19:51

I've only got one and she will be starting secondary in September. Everytime I stand in the primary playground waiting for her now, I start thinking about it! I used to go to the school she is going to, so at least its already familiar to me and I also know that they have a year 7 'sactuary', where the newies can hang out at break together for a while, whilst they get used to the big kids. She started Guides last year and that has been a big help. A lot of the girls go to her new school, so she will have some friendly faces there already. I'm quite looking forward to it now, but the end of term at primary is going to be a killer! Every year there is crying and wailing at the school gate and this year its gonna be me!

Shoshable · 15/05/2007 19:52

My Ds did unfortunately turn into 'Kevin the Teenager' at Secondary school, he couldn't have organised a P* up in a brewery, and had no motivation. He is now a lovely well behaved, interesting Electrician, so they do grow up pk.

DGD is starting Secondary school in september, mmmmmmm that one I think actually will be easier!

Tamum · 15/05/2007 19:53

Oh DG, if you'd heard ds's teachers the last few years of primary and all the gloom and doom about how he was ever going to organise himself. He's managed absolutely fine right from day 1, with minimal intervention. I think it's just so explicit at secondary, they know just what's expected of them and the timetable spells it all out. Yes, he may turn into Kevin tomorrow morning for all I know, but at the moment it's all lovely.

hayes · 15/05/2007 19:56

He will be fine!

my first ds started 2 years ago and I had all the same fears are you. He seems to have stuck with his friends from primary with a few more added in and they are a good bunch of lads. I know he was a bit worried about starting but he soon got into the swing of it....his organisation had to be better but he realised that early on.

my second ds goes this August and, he is a "young" one - not 12 till January and I feel maybe a bit worse about him going.

I don't think the worry ever goes though. Our school has a leavers ceremony and then they ring the school bell at end of term, last day of primary school. God that is a hard day to get through it is so sad but you feel so proud and excited at the same time.

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 15/05/2007 20:00

Thanks for some reassurance. TBH, when we went round to look at the school (well, not the school he is going to, but the other one we visited which we saw first) I felt all excited and felt like he was on the verge of something Harry Potter/Hogswarts-ish, but recently, I have been thinking more along the lines of bullying teenagers, illicit fags, peer pressure for phones/pcs/ipods, sexual innuendo (that has started already at his primary and ds is soooo not ready for it) and other nasties.

I have noticed ds1 is starting to become a bit stroppy and defiant at times, but other than that, he is still a baby boy (still takes a host of soft toys to bed with him) and I just worry about how he will adapt to being a mini adult.

OP posts:
Tamum · 15/05/2007 20:03

I guess the thing is that there will be lots of them in the same position. The first year seems so mixed, children and teenagey types, but your ds definitely won't be the only one who still takes soft toys to bed.

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 15/05/2007 20:03

Yes the last day of primary is going to be hard. I always feel a bit sad at the end of every school year - goodness knows why! - so leaving primary is going to be a toughie. The only thing that makes it a bit easier is that ds1 has only been going to this school for 2 years so it is not as if he is leaving the place he has been at since he was 4.

Also, when one leaves, another starts! Ds3 is starting primary in September and ds2 and dd are still going to be there so it will not be the end of an era for me, even if it will be for ds1!

OP posts:
MaureenMLove · 15/05/2007 20:03

We have an end of year production by the leaving year 6's. Followed by a speech day. This year they have also decided to get a year book professionally printed too. We have been warned that its very emotional! Us mums are organising a party for all the kids out of school too. Everyone has put in and we are going to get a dvd made up of the afternoon. I'm getting really excited!

southeastastra · 15/05/2007 20:04

i cried during my son's last assembly. they played the 'friends' theme and had a slide show of all the children.

MaureenMLove · 15/05/2007 20:06

SOUTHEASTASTRA!!!!! You just made me cry thinking about it!

southeastastra · 15/05/2007 20:08

all the mums were wailing

Tamum · 15/05/2007 20:10

We have them all processing out of school while all the younger ones line the corridors clapping them. They are preceded by a piper (bagpipes) and there is a bell tolling as each of them exits the school

hayes · 15/05/2007 20:12

our kids do a school year book too, they also take in a school polo shirt and get everyone to sign it. They did the Friends theme too at our school, then at the end they all threw their hats in the air (you know those ones university types wear for grad?) They sign a song "Moving On" and I really can't bear to focus on the words as its too emotional.

The whole school gathers outside and the P7 children each get a chance to ring the old school bell - this is the only time it is allowed to be rung.

Then in the evening we had a get together and the teacher came and when she left it all went a bit emotional for everyone.

They are your babies for ever, I know my mum says that every milestone you get more and more emotional

have tears pouring down my face...I need to get a grip!!!

MaureenMLove · 15/05/2007 20:17

BAGPIPES! Nooooooo! I am a wreck now and there's still 8 weeks to go!

rantinghousewife · 15/05/2007 20:20

Yep, my ds is going to Upper in september but it's a bit different here because they go to upper at 13, not 11. So he's already a man/boy iyswim.
Yes, I agree there's lots to worry about and just because you send em to a good school doesn't mean they won't encounter drugs, bullies etc (I have a friend who says the only difference between state and private is the price of the drugs), you have to trust that they will cope as they will have to in life. And cross the pitfalls if they happen. You don't want to pass your anxiety onto them and fwiw, most of the teenagers I know are nice kids. The media just tars them all with the same brush and some (but not all) of them live up to it.

christywhisty · 16/05/2007 10:46

I am going to be a wreck at DS leaving> it is a small church school and have a leaving service and always sing Shine Jesus Shine.They all get a friendship book presented to them as a leaving present.

I think my DS's new school have a lunch time club where older children take the newbies under their wing.

I have been so worried about him being able to organise himself as he has a problem with time ie not even knowing what day it is, but I have seen him flourish in the last couple of months. They have had a revision club for SATS in the morning before school so he has been taking himself along to that, always making sure he has his pen etc so I am not so worried now.