Are your geeky/quirky/anti-social yr 11 dc going to prom?

[Sadik]

DD is dithering - she says she thinks she might regret not going, but can't think of anything about it that she will like. I don't really want to advise her, but I suspect unless I encourage her a little bit it'll be a default 'no'.

(She doesn't do dresses, and I wasn't sure if the fact that she'd 99.9% certainly be the only girl in trousers - even if she chose a jumpsuit, which she probably wouldn't - was putting her off, but I think it's more the social element and music.)

Anyone else in similar circumstances, and have you encouraged your dc either way?

That is lovely, Malbecfan!

Though re. outfit she has just said that the main thing tempting her to go is the idea of dying her hair bright blue and wearing a really bright coloured clashing floral suit!

My daughter is going - but as a group with 4 equally geeky studious friends. But they have taken to it in their usual organised, detail oriented way. Every last detail has been highly managed - so they will enjoy it as a group and won't need to worry what other kids are doing.

They are also all invited to come here for a sleepover afterwards. I don't know why I agreed to that, but I guess I am a sucker for punishment or something. However I expect they'll all be asleep early and drunk teens are very very unlikely.

BTW - back in 1989 I went to my prom (or formal as we called it) in satin wide leg trousers and a silk shirt. I was the only girl to go in trousers and the first that anyone was aware of. it was fabulous - I was comfortable and all my friends were constantly hoiking up their tights or checking their boobs weren't falling out...

dying her hair bright blue and wearing a really bright coloured clashing floral suit!

Thats brave, glad she is confident enough to pull it off lol

No my antisocial autistic DS isnt wasnt even deliberating.

Hi Sadik I remember you from the discussions about which Maths & Science A-levels for a child who is interested in both physical & biological sciences.

DS2 decided that he doesn't want to go to the Y11 prom. He wants to attend a university open day that day (yes I realise most pupils go to these in Y12), and might also be playing in an orchestral concert in the evening.

Also, he doesn't enjoy dancing, loud pop music or unstructured social events.

She's been the only girl in her year (frequently the only girl in the school) with short hair since she got it cut in year 8 so she's used to standing out, and the 'are you a girl or a boy' questions. I think she quite enjoys weirding out little yr 7s by asking them why it matters.

(Hair was blue last summer, so wouldn't be that much of a surprise to her classmates.)

I think our dc might get along well, Second

Sadik would have thought your DD was a friend of my DS that I know is just like that. Except school would never allow blue hair.

Ah, the blue hair was only in the holidays - she dyed over it on the 31st of August (fortunately school turned a blind eye to the rather magenta result - they're reasonably chilled about such things if you're hard working and not too much trouble elsewhere)

Did is going but she’s in a year group of 32 so it’s shall.

SHe has asd & the thing that concerns us most is that no one will be told where it’s being held until the actual evening. (School take them on a bus).

Anyway, I have an answer - she's going to pay the £10 deposit and think about it . . .

Good result, let her think about it and decide herself.

My dd1 didn't go to either of hers (Yr11 nor Yr13). she's quite happy with her choice.
I did offer to give her money so she could go out for a meal or something with friends if she preferred but they never bothered. Couldn't quite see what the fuss was about, tbh.
dd2 wasn't sure at first, but then decided to, and has now got her dress and ticket
Each to their own. I don't see the point in persuading them if they aren't keen.

I was the awkwardish kid. Not really many friends. I went to prom with a couple of other friends. It was shit. I was going out with someone from another school and I wasn't allowed to bring him (most unfair hurrmf!) Spent most of the night in the toilets (it was in a very naice country hall type thing, had a room in the bathroom with a sofa and vanity mirror type thing). Music was shit, chavvy/popular kids were even more insufferable, teachers were annoying. I have little recollection of it now (it was about 15year ago when they just started becoming a 'thing') except my mum coming to pick me up from the school after getting home and accidentally slamming my dads digital camera in the car door and having to go to the bank the next day to give him money to replace it. I would say let her make her own decision.

My DD, the uber nerd, wore a tux. She looked f*ing awesome ... plus she has the suit that will be perfect for many future formal events.

Ds ADD absolutely adament he is not going. Wont be forcing him asked him a couple times and am leaving it there. I don't believe kids should be forced into these things
That said dd went to hers 5 years ago and I enjoyed getting the dress bag shoes prom car etc. I think she enjoyed it but hated the after party !! As everyone was totally drunk and she wasn't ready for all that at that age
I do know a friend of hers a boy ( who i suspect to be on the autistic spectrum) his mum bribed him to go with the promise of a new computer game. He was totally unhappy and out of his comfort zone the whole time. I think this is wrong and I don't agree with it. Not sure anything positive came out of it