Help - revision (lack of) related - just lost it with DS

[iknowimcoming]

Firstly, not lost it as in screaming and shouting or violence. Just at the end of my tether with him, don't know what to do.

Did f-all revision for his mocks, did poorly I.e. 3-4 grades below what he's capable of even in maths where he's allegedly some kind of genius, didn't really care. Wants to do maths physics and computing at a level but physics grade nowhere near good enough in mocks.

Has begrudgingly attended some booster sessions for some subjects and will attend a couple of these over the hols but very reluctantly. Hasn't done any other form of revision but I thought we had had a breakthrough when he announced last week he was planning to go into school every day in the holiday to do revision with his friends. Managed one hour yesterday, just under 2 today and is clearly only there to say he's done two hours rather than caring about what he's doing.

He's a gamer, we've restricted his computer time to 2 hours per day, later in the evening, and provided him with a pc in a different room to use for revision/homework etc so he can't get distracted, doesn't bother.

When I picked him up today after his "amazing" slightly less than 2 hours revision I told him he should research apprenticeships, as there was no point in him attempting a levels if he can't even be bothered with GCSEs. I said I'm done with nagging him, if he doesn't care what's the point in me bothering. I honestly don't know what to do, I've tried encouraging, cajoling, nagging, bribery, softly softly, shouty. Should I just leave him to it and watch him fail? Or chain him to a desk? All advice welcome

*weep not week. Should proofread when using phone to type, sorry.

It isn't just universities that are looking at GCSE results, employers do too, often more interested in them than A levels (and resits do not impress them either)
DS was dismayed to discover this despite having a First Class BSc (Hons) and a first in his MSc.
Luckily he's still done very well in his career but said he wished he had known that when sitting his GCSEs.

Following this with interest...and a fair amount of reassurance. ☺
DD is coming to the end of year 9, with end of year exams and the iGCSE short course ICT mock and exam looming. She has ADH D and we absolutely have to do revision with her - by "doing", I mean sitting with her, reading text books and notes to her, helping her create mind maps, watching YouTube videos, working through BBC Bitesize and anything else that may help her. If we didnt, there is no way she would be able to manage.
I'd love her to be the type of child that was self-motivated or even able to crack on, once given a kick up the backside, but she isn't and may never be. It's reassuring to know she's not alone and that we're not the only parents having to hand hold.

BossWitch your comments are very illuminating. I’m in this position too with my apparently very bright DS. He’s got no idea how to revise and has been told for so long that he’s clever that he now believes he can just walk in and get top grades, despite his mocks predicting a very different outcome. He’s got no long term vision at all. Nothing matters except what happens on Fortnite today. When his Xbox allotted time is over he just switches to watching other people play Fortnite on that Twitch app. He will panic the day before the GCSEs start but then it will be too late.

I quite enjoy helping DD with her revision so far!

I am old enough to have done O levels. We didn't even have calculators let alone mobile phones or the internet.

Back then it didn't matter if you failed an O level or two. You could resit and take some more - which is exactly what I did. Unfortunately a lot of older people completely fail to understand that you can't get away with this nowadays. Resits and low grades really do count against you.

BossWitch your posts are really helpful. The last post was excellent. I hope eddiemairswife has a better understanding after reading them.

I had no idea that low GCSE grades were an issue after A levels and degrees Tiddlywinks63. DD's boyfriend has an Oxbridge offer in spite of less than stellar GCSE grades (he only got 1 A*)

Blimey, there's a lot more parental input on here than I've done. Maybe I should go over each subject topic by topic to put the frighteners on him over how much he still needs to do. But I was so dreadful at maths and sciences and don;t speak the MFL he learns, so can't help with much except my own subject.

DS is just doing practise papers and then looking at the questions he couldn't answer. i've asked/told/ngged him again and again to write down what he doesn't know, to highlight it, to discuss it with me, his DF or DB but he just reads it. He's far more engaged with selling stuff on Ebay and making a small fortune doing it.

Kids are all different. Some are motivated, some aren't. Some are overwhelmed, some aren't. Some need help, pushing and nagging, others need the brake putting on so they don't burn out.

I don't blame schools for putting on revision sessions - they are judged so harshly if their students fail that they really have no choice. And some students do better with school-provided guided revision than they would working on their own. With the increased content and difficulty of GCSEs, it's a minefield working out as a parent what is going to work for your own individual child.

I've got two independent workers who don't need to be pushed, but last year we had DD1's friend living with us, also doing GCSEs, and she did all the school revision sessions - and it really worked for her. She was no less smart, no less motivated, she just learned better in that environment. Labelling young people doesn't help anyone.

"Your unhelpful answers only serve to make their parents feel inadequate"

Doesn't make me feel inadequate Lonicera, I just dismissed eddiemair as a bit of a tit

I am also old enough to remember O levels. They were so much easier than dd's GCSEs - the content and scope was much less I think. There really is no comparison. With negligible revision (I started literally 1 week before) I managed to get 7 Bs and an A. Wouldn't manage to get B's/ level 6's these days with just 1 weeks revision! Interestingly 7 Bs and an A were considered perfectly respectable and quite good back then in the 80's - whereas a lot of students aiming ultimately at higher education would be disappointed with mostly B's (or 6's) these days

hmcAsWas

Did he do the entrance exam though? It’s a bit different for Oxford. If you impress them on the entrance papers (I assume they still exist) then they don’t care much about GCSEs - or even A levels, if you’ve got an unconditional offer.

Sorry that was in reply to LoniceraJaponica

Yes. He smashed the HAT test and can bullshit about his subject until the cows come home. His offer is conditional BTW.

Loads of people at my 80s grammar school didn't organise their own revision. Parents didn't help either, so they just flunked and got jobs at 16. Really they would have been capable of doing better with more support, but teenagers not revising isn't a new thing.

Don't knock apprenticeships, there are some excellent ones out there. He will however require decent GCSE results to get a good one.

He does not want to be in the position of having to retake Maths and English at college. If he is really being idle, make sure he focuses his small amount of effort on these.

Lonicera

Yes. He smashed the HAT test and can bullshit about his subject until the cows come home

That’s how to get in!!