Anyone else’s dc beginning to really struggle with the demands of gcse prep?

[IllBeAtTheBarIfYouNeedMe]

Just that really. It’s the home stretch and dd is so close to actually breaking from the demands on her. Last night she was wondering around the house dazed and teary eyed just waiting for her db’s just to breathe in her direction so she can jump down their throats. She’s exhausted.

Her school has had her at school from 7:30am until 5:10pm mon-fri and 9-3 on saturdays since September. They want her in over the easter holidays too according to the schedule I’ve received. She’s revising at home all evening and at weekends so it just seems to be completely non stop for her at the moment.

She’s predicted to do well and I really don’t want her to fail because she just overwhelmed by it all and/or burnt out.

I’ve booked her a trip with a few of her friends to go and see another friend of theirs who lives by the coast for a few day this weekend so I’m hoping that it will give her a breather and she’ll come back more relaxed and ready for the last bit before GCSEs.

Or am I just being ridiculous? How is everyone else helping their teens?

I'm astounded that schools and parents think that this is what it takes. My DC doing GCSEs has normal school hours, and had no issues in the mocks, even with very little revision.

Surely there is something wrong if the material can't be covered during the normal school day, and the children can't be trusted to revise properly at home.

It all sounds utterly miserable, for everyone.

I am sorry but '6 hours work a day minimum' in the Easter holidays during year 10 - is not 'what it takes' to do well at GCSE.

To do the best a person can I think is absolutely important.

I have met very few people who get or will get A*s and 9s across the board without trying. In fact, even those students who find it easy tend to still spend hours studying around the subject, for fun/interest.

I also haven't ever met an adult who studied hard, achieved their expectations (whatever those were, all 9s or a few 5s equivalent) and regrets working so hard at school and wishes they spent more time watching tv instead.

What I do meet all the time though are those people who could do better and choose or did choose not to do, and that makes me very sad. It's a disservice to themselves and not a characteristic I value as a parent.

I honestly don't think the hours the OP says are majorly excessive. I did more than that outside of school during exams.

The only difference seems to be doing them in school rather than outside, and if the school had a history of students underperforming, then it's understandable that the school want to change things, as leaving them to do it themselves clearly hasn't worked! I would hope it's a staged process though as A level students do need more self motivation. I also hope it's teaching them smart ways to revise.

It's massively important to take a weekend day off, some evenings, regular breaks, treats, etc. Also exercise and eating properly.

But doing the best a student can is really important. Why is it okay to just coast a bit in academic work? Does the same apply elsewhere?? A horse rider saying "oh, I could have got a clear round but it wasn't worth the extra effort"? A swimmer saying "I could have beaten the record but I didn't want to put the hours in during training"? etc etc.

A swimmer saying "I could have beaten the record but I didn't want to put the hours in during training"?

Um yes. That happens to almost seven billion of us every day.

I'm off running tonight with a running club. If I go eyeballs out as fast as I can I might finish tonight's route first. But I won't because I'll be chatting to my friends and also I couldn't give two shiny shits how fast I run as long as I keep up. It's not the Olympics.

And to prove your other point wrong I worked my arse off throughout GCSE and A levels. I ended up with crippling migraines and lay in the dark with my mum reading revision notes to me the night before my a level exams. It's done me no good and I'm not as successful in my career as my brother who barely opened a book.

OP - I think you are doing exactly the right thing in organising a weekend away. I would say school are fixed on improving grades (or in a panic about grades) - allow her to revise at home rather than school as much as you can/she wants to. Encourage her to relax, eat well and see her friends.
If you need to revise for hours from as early as year 10 (as suggested) you will burn out. Also if you need to work that hard to keep up/ achieve high grades at GCSE then you will struggle at A level.

"That's just what it takes in terms of hours and commitment, to do well.
Those school hours are long, but it's just what it takes. Ditto revising in the holidays. It's just what it takes."
If you have a not-particularly-bright child that you're trying to shove blindly down the academic route, perhaps?

Otherwise clearly not, since large numbers of children get excellent GCSE results without anywhere near that level of effort. A decent amount of study and revision, yes, but not to that extreme.

invisibleunicorn can I ask, was your studying time in the Uk?
Incidentally, I don’t think those hours are ‘just what it takes’.
The majority of pupils do not study and revise for that much time out of school Andrea still do extremely well.

Plus, ‘just reading and rewriting notes’ is absolutely what is needed for some students. We all have different methods of revising.

Also remember that whilst straight level 9’s might be lovely, not everybody is that motivated to strive for that...even if they academically could. Life is all about balance.

Your poor dd. i think a little bit of time off is necessary in the pressure of GCSE's. In fact studies have shown that the brain NEEDS some 'down time' to process learning. Plus a stressed child is not going to do well.

My ds is also a 'worker' and has been revising since the beginning of Y 11. he has very high expectations.

I am insisting that he takes one day of in each of the school holiday weeks to do something nice with me. He can revise later in the afternoon, evening, but a bit of time out, a nice lunch will hopefully relieve the pressure. We have also found some stiff on Netflix to watch together and spend an hour each late afternoon chilling.

Lastly, I'm just checking over his plan from time to time to reassure him he has got it all covered.

I actually can't believe a school expects DC to attend lessons from 7:30 to 5:30. That is completely over the top and, imo, likely to do more harm than good.

What school can honestly say they support reducing mental health difficulties in their school if they make the kids study for those hours?

I would not be happy with those hours. DD occasionally goes in for an early morning session & she will occasionally miss dance for the odd after school revision session (she dances from 4-6 every evening plus Saturday mornings) but I would be refusing to allow her to attend that late.

She is stressed but we are trying to keep a balance.