I think I made the wrong decision about my daughter's secondary school

[LalaLeona]

Just after some advice really. I realise I've been very foolish. I was offered my daughter's first choice school and I have accepted the place. Now I feel I have made a mistake and wish I had put her second choice at the top. The reason I didn't put the second choice at the top was because it was a Catholic school and we are c of e, I felt sure she wouldn't get in for this reason. However since accepting my first choice school I have found out some children were accepted even though they are c of e. I feel such regret I wish I had put more thought into it at the time. I was very ill with a poorly newborn at the time and was not thinking straight. Does anyone know if there's anything i can do? Can I still put her name on the waiting list for the second choice school? If it's relevant we live in greater London in an area where most of the schools are oversubscribed

You can put her name on the waiting list, yes. Which school does she prefer?

Will she be very low on the list as I have already accepted another school? She likes both of them really. The catholic one would be super easy for her to get to.

I think it is better for her to have a clear start at her first choice school rather than an uncertain waiting list plan. This is where your confidence and resilience helps her, or your anxiety undermines her confidence.

I would just be positive about the school, say wow you are so lucky to get the first choice, and help her plan and organise.

You're probably right..also massively drip feeding here but a bully in her class at the moment is also going to the first choice school and I just keep thinking why didn't I put the other school down. Perhaps it's my own anxiety and she will be absolutely fine there though.

Why not put her name on the wsiting list for the other school? Then, if and when you are offered a place, you can decide whether or not you want it.

As for the bully, how big is the new school? I'm guessing big enough for you to ask for them to be separated, so do this early on.

I agree. Put her name down on the waiting list and if she gets offered a place then you can decide at the time. You don’t have to tell her you’ve put her name on the list if you’re worried about disruption

Thank you yes I think I will put her on the list tomorrow. There's nothing to lose. The school is large 940 girls so I'm sure it would be ok. I just feel like I've let my daughter down by not thinking clearly about it. I won't mention that she's on the list for the time being.

There’s still a lot of movement yet and it’s not too late to change your mind (no guarantee though!).

Let the new school know about the bully, so they know to keep them seierate as much as they can.

Thanks I will I'm hoping they will send a form where I can request this!

At our school every family has an induction meeting: sign tne home-school agreement, register for lunch card, music lessons, and talk about any pastoral issues. We were specifically asked if there was any child to be kept seperate from. If this doesn’t happen, cintsct the school before during the summer term and be very clear about the bullying, Find out who is Head of Year and tell them.

You go on the waiting list in order as to how you meet the admission criteria.

Check with your LA: if waiting list places come up do they contact you and ask if you want to accept, or do they automatically allocate you the waiting list place and decline your other one? A few do it that way, so check... it might affect how you talk to your Dd about it. Fine to not tell her she is on the list for the Catholic school if she could choose if a place came up, but I don’t think you could suddenly tell her, fair accomlit, that her school is changed, without discussing the possibility in advance.

Will she be very low on the list as I have already accepted another school

No. Her place on the waiting list is determined entirely by the school's oversubscription criteria. The fact you have accepted another school is irrelevant.

Thanks for all the advice food for thought

Have a teacher from her current school write to the new one tomstate there has been a bullying problem between X and Y and recommend that they are placed in separate classes. It'll carry more weight than a parental request, especially if phrased along the lines of giving both a fresh start.